Edward looked out the window. Seeing Jacob with his muscular arms and his bootylicious butt made him forget about Bella, and how he loved her. Right now, he was focusing on Jacob, his secret lover, the one who he had spent many nights with, while Bella was unconscious from the plane crash.
Jacob sees Edward looking at him, and smiles, a sensual smile. Edward then smiles Jacob's favourite crooked smile. Edward rushes downstairs, to the basement, where Jacob will soon join him. He sees Jacob slowly coming down the stairs. God, did that boy make Edward horny...
"Hey, Jakey." Edward says.
"Hey, babe." Jacob replies. He blushes when Edward stokes his face, then leans in for a sexy kiss.
"So...are you ready for something awesome, Eddy-poo?" Jacob asks, a bit breathless after such a kiss. "Oh yeah, biotch. I want you bad." Edward replies and smiles when the love of his existence moans.
"Well then, what are you waiting for?" Jacob asks.
Nearly an hour has passed...
"OH, Jakey, that was AMAZING." Edward gasps.
"No, babe. YOU were amazing." Jacob whispered sensually in Edward's ear. Jacob looked around the room, trying to find his pants.
"Oh, don't be so silly! YOU were." Edward says, pulling a shirt over his head. He sighed when he saw that it was Jacob's.
"Okay, okay. But it's only because I had some practice with the boys. You know what I mean?" "Oh, I know what you mean, and I like it." Edward says, as he imagines some very sexy things. He slowly started to pull up his pants.
"I know you do." Jacob sighed, and fell down on Edwards bed. He had just remembered something, something embarrassing he tried to forget...
"Hey, Jakey. You were all happy, and suddenly you became sad. What's wrong, hunny-bun?" Edward asked lovingly, and walked towards his bed.
"Oh, it's nothing really."
"No. Whenever you say it's nothing, it IS something."
"Okay fine. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I didn't really thing you were THAT good. I've...Err...I've had better." Jacob's face turned a deep red, and he bowed his head.
"Oh. With who?"
"Err...umm..."
"JUST TELL ME!" Edward nearly yells, angry that his love has lied to him.
"...Charlie."
"CHARLIE?"
"Yeah. That guys is REALLY SOMETHING. I'm sorry..."
"Oh, babe, don't be. This just made me want to prove to you that I am better then him." Edward smiles, a plan formulating in his mind. "I know you know it, but you just have to experience it first." Edward slowly moves closer to Jacob. He puts his hand on Jacob's leg, and slowly slides it up, towards the area where the sun doesn't shine, except for Edward. Edward likes that place. He starts unbuttoning Jacob's shirt. The he unzips his pants. Jacob does the same. Both go in bed, and under the covers. Jacob takes Edwards underwear off with his teeth. Edward doesn't have to anything as Jacob was going commando. Edward groans when he sees this. Edwards start kissing Jacob passionately, but then Jacob decides to spice it up a bit, and add some tongue. Jacob is lying on top of Edward, then the other way around. Edward is on top Jacob, and he decides to molest his ass. Jacob can't take it anymore. He has to do something naughtier to Edward. Jacob tells Edward to lie down on his stomach. He then goes to Edward's ass, and started sucking on his glorious butt cheek.
"Oh, JACOB. You know how I am with hickeys. Whoever gives me one, I have to give them one. Lie down on your stomach, or Sheriff Edward will whip and handcuff you." Edward smiles, and rubs on Jacob's upper thigh, causing Jacob to groan. Loud.
"Yes, sir. Sheriff Edward. I like." Jacob winks. Jacob lies down on his stomach. Edward crawls closer him. First, he handcuffs his love, and than he takes out his whip, and smacks Jacob's ass. He then sits on his back, and faces Jacob's lovely little butt. It's actually very large, but little makes it sound cute. Or so Edward thinks. He then starts sucking Jacob's butt, and not only did he do it once, but he did it four times. He wasn't done with Jacob yet. Edward unlocks Jacob's handcuffs, and then they proceed to have hot, wonderful, sweaty, glorious, beautiful, handsome, magnificent, splendid, superb, moist, breathtaking, amazing, brilliant, fantastic, outstanding, excellent, terrific, marvellous, sizzling, sexy, dazzling, awesome-possum, gay sex. And lots of it.
So. You know you totally enjoyed that. :P The story was written by Martyna, but I, Kathy, edited it. This was a joke. If we actualy tried to write something, it would be better than this. Sorry if we offend anyone in any way by writing this fanfic.