Title: You would never know
Author: Hospitalized Heartless
Genre: Angst, Romance, Suspense/Mystery

Warnings: this story will contain amounts, large or small, of the following:

Sexual themes
Past mentions of rape
Homosexual relationships
Large amounts of you not simply knowing what the hell is going on because of the plot being so carefully intricate
Swearing
Suicide Attempts
Psychological breakdowns
Violence and gore

NOTE: MAKE SURE YOU READ THIS AND THE AUTHOR NOTE AT THE END OF THE STORY SO I GET NO COMPLAINING ABOUT SOMETHING NOT MAKING ANY SENSE. IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION, FEEL FREE TO LEAVE IT IN A REVIEW.

First Fragment
…And losing what was found, a world so hollow. Suspended in a compromise…

"Sí, madre. Yo estoy bien, no te preocupes." The brunette laughed into the phone, wedging it in between his head and his ear as he took another sip from his mug, the pleasant scent of hickory and cinnamon hitting his taste buds. "I will be sure to visit you in a couple of weeks, te lo prometo. I just need to get mi café up and running before I buy another plane ticket back over."

"Alright, Antonio…" The voice cackled, a dry cough, from the other line of the phone. "I believe you when you say that. It's just… you're in a whole different country and I just…"

"Sé que, madre. You're just worried." Antonio smiled, putting the mug down. "And I mean it when I say I promise to come back in a couple of weeks. Until then, stay healthy alright? Te quiero, madre."

"También te quiero, Antonio."

The curly brunette sighed, running a calloused palm over the warm ceramic of his mug before ending the phone call with his mother. His mother could be such a worry wart sometimes; not that it meant he didn't love his mother- no! His mother was a wonderful woman. He admired her for all the strength she had in her, especially taking care of him fatherless as a child. The only thing he worried about was being lapsed of judgment because in his madre's eyes, he was still a small child.

A small patter against the tiffany window pane outside of Antonio's apartment window caught his attention, the man frowning and seeing that it was starting to rain. He had heard it was summer over in America where he was staying and yet all it had done since Antonio's arrival a couple of days prior to, was rain.

"It's as if the rain's mocking my moving…" He shook his head, laughing to himself before glancing up at the wall clock. He had about fifteen minutes before he had to be officially ready to go to college that morning. He looked back down at his finished coffee, then down at the sweat jacket adorning his concealed tan skin and the black jeans that covered down his long legs. Even if he was this covered, Antonio hadn't bought an umbrella for himself since the move from Spain so he had yet to have protection. He pondered for a moment before getting up, putting his mug away into his apartment sink before going to his couch where a bag laid. He guessed he'd just have to run to college early then before it started pouring. Oh well- at least he might be able to see Feliciano!

Antonio smiled warmly at the thought of Feliciano Vargas, tugging up his hood. The bubbly Italian red head had been his best friend ever since they met in Italy two winters ago; when Antonio had to go and visit a relative down the street from Feliciano's house. The two had gotten together splendidly and loved talking to each other, especially since Feliciano complained about being lonely since he was an only child growing up with his grandfather. Heck, Antonio liked Feliciano enough that he even tried to date him- once. But Feliciano had cut it off, saying he only liked the Spaniard as a friend and instead, the two of them decided to meet each other in college again someday.

And they had. While Antonio had left to go off to college to become a teacher- he liked kids so why not?-, Feliciano had gone off to college in order to become a graphic design artist and free lance on the side. They sure made a creative duo of friends to say the least, but that was good for Antonio since it'd gotten so lonely here in America…

Frowning at himself, the Spaniard trampled out of his apartment, making sure to lock the door and grab his school bag before going down the flight of stairs and begin his walk to college. He couldn't actually drive to college yet like everyone else did because the twenty-two year old couldn't afford a car so he had to walk in the rain. Not that he minded- sure he'd get wet and he'd have to run about a mile or two to get there before it started pouring, but it gave Antonio some time to think in the morning.

A cold gust rushed past him as the Spaniard exited the building, tugging the hood over his face harder as he made his way to college. Great… just great. Sighing to himself, he avoided as many puddles in his way with his school books flying behind him and he raced to his school. However, he was paused momentarily by a loud thunk and- oh god- w-was that a shriek?

The Spaniard looked into the dark alleyway, not considering all of the water that must've started to collect on the fabric of his clothes and his book bag and stared intently into it. Just what made that sound? The male gulped, slight slightly afraid of the unknown, even for his age and took a step forward towards the alleyway. His anxiety vanished however when a small, black kitten crawled out from the depths. Antonio frowned. Oh… it was just a cat… Petting the malnourished creature for a moment, the Spaniard looked again in the alleyway to confirm his suspicions before yelling, "¡Adios!" to his feline friend and bolting off again.

What a weird start for a morning, to say the least.

"Ve- why are you all wet Antonio?"

The brunette sighed, not in the mood for this. He'd come to class about thirty minutes early, only to arrive sopping wet in front of his red headed amigo. He hadn't been able to get to the school in time but at least his books were okay, right? The Spaniard laid the bag down on the long table that served as Feliciano's desk and peered into the drowned back, smiling. Good- the books were still intact. "I still don't have an umbrella…" He admitted sheepishly, ignoring as other students began to filter their selves into the room, ready for another boring lecture that would melt their brains into a soggy mess.

"Oh…" The campari crowned child frowned before grinning and going back to his usual smiling self. "Well you could've just went and asked me for an umbrella, 'Toni! I have plenty~"

Antonio guessed a good reason why he broke it off with the Italian was because he seemed to lack basic knowledge, despite being in college already. Not like it wasn't cute or anything but, the brunette guessed if he ever dated someone they'd be a little bit more practical than Feliciano was. 'And more adorable~' The brunette thought with a breathy sigh as he went around the long rows of desks and sat next to Feliciano Vargas as their class began to start.. "Gracias, Feliciano…" He grinned, still accepting the male's offer who nodded and to the Spaniard's surprise, handed him an umbrella. "I found I had an extra the other day!" He yipped before helping it into the Spaniard's bag. "I thought I lost it a good couple of years ago~ Guess not." He shrugged.

Before putting it away, Antonio glanced at it. The umbrella was a light creamy, white color but was adorned with red and green polka dots. Of course it would look like that. Feliciano was Italian after all and it showed Italian pride. Antonio smiled before turning back to the board.

This class was pretty simple as far as what Antonio could understand. Despite its long hours of writing and jotting notes from the board, having social science was a required class to become a teacher, and apparently an artist in Feliciano's case. The only thing that really kept him awake that morning was the fact that he was wet and cold from the rain still brewing up a storm outside and for his next class; Music, his favorite.

Antonio had always had some sort of passion for music. He remembered long hours of his small time as a child where he would play his guitar for his madre, one of his most favorite activities. He used his guitar for just about everything back then. He would sing to the tomatoes in order to make them grow, sing to his mother to help her feel better and sing and play his guitar just for the love of doing so or when he was alone and his mother had to work. He thought fondly on memories like those… They were all he had left nowadays anyways since he was so far away from home.

"What's this going to do, mami?" The little child frowned, watching as his very pale but slowly nursing herself back to health mother sat next to him in the soil. "Our tomatoes were growing fine in the window! I don't think it's very big enough to grow out here, all alone..." His mother laughed, a sweet laugh, one he'd always loved to hear. "Well my little Antonio~" Antonio blinked as he was brought from the dirt and into his mother's lap, watching as his mother took a watering can and caringly poured water onto the small fruit plant. "If you give something love and attention, give it great care with every single bit of love you've got, something amazing might happen. For example, I'd be willing to bet thousands of dollars that if you came out here every morning and gave that plant love, care and attention, along with some water and sunlight, it will grow into a beautiful tomato plant." "Really?" The little brunette seemed awestruck by this, mouth agape and smiling wide before turning around to his mother. "Okay then! Hold on- I wanna get my guitar! I will sing to the tomatoes!" His mother laughed as the brunette headed towards the house.

The memory made Antonio's heart warm significantly, despite his cold surroundings. Dios mio did he love his mother…His smile was quickly diminished however when he thoughts strayed to that of more… darker topics. Mostly just thoughts of his old, big leaf maple acoustic guitar… He and his mother just got so poor and… he had to sell it.

Antonio had thought that having to sell his guitar would have destroyed all of his love for music, but it still clung on. So when he heard that becoming a teacher would require for him to get a music class, he was ecstatic. Now if only he could afford to get another guitar… that would be truly wonderful.

It wasn't too long before Antonio was nudged out of his condition of reverie by his Italian friend and he blinked, eyes fluttering open and jutting around ushering a, "Que?" a little too loudly and distressed sounding. A lively chuckle rung in the Spaniard's ears and the male's shock died down to see it was only Feli tugging at him. "You weren't paying attention so I had to make sure you knew class was done!" The Italian giggled before getting out of his seat like the other students. "Oh…" He frowned before Feliciano nodded, slowly getting up.

"Stai bene, Antonio?" Feliciano's Italian immediately registered in his head and the Spaniard merely smiled, though it was weak. "Sí, Feliciano. Sto bene." He waved his hand before departing away from his Italian friend and walked through the campus to his music class. Despite his thoughts the morning, perhaps he was more home sick than he or his mother thought. He took a seat at his usual desk, not bothering to wait for anyone because no one else went to class with him this morning that he knew on a friendly basis anyways.

'Perhaps I'll leave extra early to get to the café today,' he mumbled into the palm currently propping up his chin. 'The café might just get rid of my home sickness…'His thoughts didn't really stray any farther than that as he had another class to finish again.

(A/N: I made this chapter quite short simply because this story's not one I'm going to have to go into incredible detail with so you're not going to get much from this chapter or the rest of the story quite honestly. And yes- for the purposes of this story;

Feliciano is an only child living with his grandfather
Feliciano used to be Antonio's ex-boyfriend

Both will be very important to the plot, despite how thin it appears right now, and will be revealed to be great importance. So please, for the sake of everyone else, try not to get your panties in a bunch of all of this and I will see you all next week(hopefully) with the next chapter~

Next Chapter: Antonio, after meeting up with his two other goofball friends once getting out of college, decides to head early to his café to make sure it'll be ready for a grand opening the next day. However, as he starts to make sure everything is in place, Feliciano walking past his café windows but not coming in catches his attention…

Spanish (In order of usage);

"Sí, madre. Yo estoy bien, no te preocupes." – ("Yes, mother. I am fine, do not worry.")
"…Te lo prometo." – ("…I promise.")
"…Mi café…" – ("…My café…")
"Sé que, madre…" – ("I know, mother…")
"…Te quiero, madre." – ("I love you, mother.")
"También te quiero, Antonio." – ("I love you too, Antonio.")
"…madre's…" – ("…Mother's…")
"¡Adios!"- ("Goodbye!")
"…amigo." – ("…friend.")
"…mami." – ("…mommy.")
"Que?" – ("What?")

Italian (In order of usage);

"Stai bene, Antonio?" – ("Are you okay, Antonio?")
"Sí, Feliciano. Sto bene." – ("Yes, Feliciano. I'm fine.")

Por favor, correct me on any wrong Spanish and Italian. The Italian is simply based on my own knowledge but the Spanish was relied on by a friend of mine who took a Spanish class about a year ago. So, per favore, correct me if I am wrong or even if you want to give some con. Crit. to the story!

Also, reviews are like the food of the story! I like to know exactly how you all feel on the story and how I could make it better or what I should avoid or include! Thank you :3 )