Warning: Contains great intensities of sarcasm and irony. If you cannot handle such, you are not suitable for the application of this tutorial. Also, I recommend anyone who is younger than five should not participate. This is a high-grade lesson, not Playschool. I will not be your nanny. – Master Cyclonis
CHAPTER 1: ELIMINATION
Before you present your disgusting self to me, I advise you to brush off any dust from that lowly attire. I am highly allergic. Dust mites are extremely dangerous. How dare such minute creatures infiltrate my safe asylum! Also, your fashion taste disgusts me. Converse with Ravess for tips before I set my eyes on your putrid clothing.
You should have had a shower ten minutes ago. My nose is a sensitive organ and it cannot withstand foreign odours. If you have not cleaned, you are to abscond immediately before my crystal staff decides to scatter your particles all over Cyclonia.
I'm sorry, you were too slow.
Your mind must be capable to capacitate my high intelligence, yet you will never exceed mine. Oh, you don't understand? No? Ah. My crystal is glowing quite brightly at present. Wait, now you clearly show your comprehension, but you wish to speak out of line.
Apologies. My fingers just slipped and the crystal conveniently managed to vaporise you.
Finally, you must not have any allegiances or alliances with anyone that is not Cyclonian. If you are a Raptor, I have a tendency to harm and threaten you, yet we will always preserve a strong bond. If you are a Murk Raider or the Colonel, I have no business with you. So please turn around whilst my Talons escort you in chains to the dungeons.
A defection to Cyclonia is acceptable. Remember, it is permanent and if you decide to turn back, I will allow you the choice of having the Dark Ace or Ravess destroy you. Yes, I am a civilised, fair ruler and respects your input in such situations.
Ah. The remaining should be a group compiled with competent beings that comply with my conditions. No, not you. You look too much like Piper. Talons, take her to the dungeons. And not these people either. This is a tutorial for aspiring "empresses" not "emperors". Males, out. Converse with the Dark Ace; he is looking for aspiring soldiers to be like him, that narcissistic, picky man.
Now we can conclude. You are a lucky group chosen by my fine hands to become an empress of a Terra. Preferably, you will not be as dominant and powerful as I, yet let no this hinder your eagerness and learning capacities to become the greatest ruler. With my wise tutorial and guide, you will succeed, but you will never be level with me.
Come; do not scuttle like lowly subjects. What did I say? Do not SCUTTLE, girl. Talons, throw her off the Terra. Yes, without a parachute. I am a busy and ethical woman and I myself cannot conduct such malevolence at this moment. Do the honours immediately.
Where was I? Oh yes; follow me where we will discover the first step of becoming a fully-fledged empress…
Who just trod on my cloak? Stop cowering, you idiot. I am not going to hurt you. Who put such a thought into your mind? Here, walk beside me. I will need you for the first lesson…
A/N: I have no idea where this is going to, but this is so fun to write! I wonder if any of you survived those tests.