This is my first try at a Three Stooges fanfic, and one centering around Moe and Larry, so hopefully it's enjoyable! Have a happy new year, guys and gals! :D
It was already 7 'o'clock on New Year's Eve, and the boys: Moe, Larry, Shemp and Curly sat around the TV, watching musical guests perform. Curly bobbed his head to the popular music of the past year and did his trademark dance on the floor. The other three simply watched him.
"Looks like a dog that lost its tail." Larry randomly inquired.
"He's a dog alright.." Moe said about his ladykiller kid brother, than poured his cup of soda all over Curly, causing him to 'NYAH-AH-AH!' and jump up angrily into Moe's face.
"What's the idea? You ruined my favorite shirt!"
"Oh yeah?"
Moe proceeded to bop him in the head with his soda glass, breaking it and causing Curly to moan in pain while holding his head.
"Well you just broke my favorite glass, ya featherhead! Now you're gettin' me a new one!"
"Hey, pipe down, fellas!" Shemp said to them. "It's the holiday season, ain't it? We're supposed to be jolly and nice!"
"Christmas is over, you stoop," Moe nastily replied. "I don't have to be nice to anybody, including you weasel-brains."
"Wait a minute, it's still New Year's for a few more hours, right?" Larry realized and smiled. "Let's atleast enjoy that."
"Enjoy this." With that, Moe gave him a fist pop on the head with one hand, while giving him eyepokes with the other, causing Larry to groan in pain.
"Leave Larry alone!" Both Curly and Shemp told their brother.
Moe just frowned at the two. "Oh, a couple o' conspirators, eh?" He proceeded to give his bros the double slap. Shemp, like always, was quick to talk back to Moe, walking around the living room acting like he was ready to fight.
"I'm sick of you always slappin' all of us around like we were Raggedy Ann dolls! I've had it up to here with you! I'll fix ya, I'll fix ya!" He saw Moe's cellphone on the counter and grabbed it up.
Moe shot daggers at his older brother. "Hey you! Put that phone down or I'll-"
"You'll what? YOU'LL WHAT?" Shemp yelled, then threw the phone down on the ground and jumped on it, breaking it into a million pieces, laughing while he did so. This caused Moe to become steaming mad, looking at Larry and Curly, who were right next to him.
"What are you bozo brains looking at?" He smacked them both, causing Curly to be just as angry.
"LISTEN YOU! I'll-"
"You'll what?"
"I'll..I'll!" Curly looked around the living room for something. "Ooh!" When he saw the four pies sitting on the table, he ran over to them and giggled maniacally. "I'll give you just whatcha askin' for!"
Moe pointed a threatening finger at his baby brother. "Don't you dare! I made those pies for eatin'!"
"Yeah?" Curly quickly threw one right at Moe's face, so quickly that he didn't have time to avoid it. "Well there's your pie, now you can EAT it too! Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!"
As Larry hid by the couch in fright, Moe glared at his laughing hyena brothers, wanting to hang their heads above the fireplace at that moment.
"I oughta MOIDER you shutterbrains! Gimme one reason why I shouldn't!"
With that, the two stuck their tongues out at Moe and "Nyah-Nyah'd' him until he chased the two around the living room. Somehow, Larry snuck underneath the dust-bunny filled couch and waited for the fight to be over. He was so happy about the New Year approaching that he didn't mind Moe's abuse today. He just wished Curly and Shemp felt the same way.
Soon enough, the three ran across the couch and all through the house until Moe stopped to catch his breath. Curly laughed and hi-fived Shemp.
"He ain't fast enough for us."
"You said it, kiddo."
While they congratulated each other, Moe evilly grinned as he reached for two more pies and hid them behind his back, walking up to the two.
"Oh, boys?"
"Yes?" They said.
"Do you like dessert?"
"Heck yeah I do, Moe!" Shemp happily said.
"Me too! I like anything that's got extra whipped cream!" Curly excitedly said.
"You got it!" Moe slammed both of his brothers in the face with the pies, stunning the both of them. "Now both of ya, quit lollygaggin' and go get me some more pies! And get me another phone too, ya bumblin' idiots!"
"But the stores are closed!" Shemp pointed out.
"And so is the pawn shop!" Curly exclaimed.
Moe smacked them both hard. "Go, get outta here! Go anywhere but here, ya tiddlywinks!"
As they both mumbled together and walked out of the house slowly, Moe cursed to himself. At that moment, Larry climbed out from under the couch and tried to comfort his good friend.
"Moe, I-"
"Eh what are you lookin' at? Go get me a replacement cup, ya beezlebrain!" He smacked him silly until the curly redhead left. "Go on! GO!"
Soon enough, Larry caught up with the two brothers and walked and talked with them.
"Why'd you guys have to get him steamin' mad like that? Now he'll never let us come back!"
"Oh that kid always cools off like a hot tamale after a while," Shemp reassured. "You said that last time when he got angry at us for changin' the channel, and what happened?"
"He begged us to come back cuz he secretly loves us! Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk!" Curly happily said.
"Well cuz of that puddin' head," Larry said, motioning to Shemp. "He can't call us to come back." Larry sulked over to a bench. "Now it's official, fellas. We're homeless."
While the other two looked at him in confusion, Larry genuinely felt hurt beyond repair.
Moe's kicked the bucket on me this time. Now he'll never want me to come back, let alone those two goofs. Why can't I just talk to him and it be a peaceful conversation for once-
All of a sudden, two girls came outta nowhere and grabbed onto Curly and Shemp's arms.
"Are you guys part of that comedic act on the internet?" One said.
"They sure look like it!" The other said.
"And they're even cuter in person!"
Curly and Shemp smiled at each other, nodding along.
"Yes we are, we're the best dang joke act the world's ever seen!" Shemp dramatically said.
"And for an added special after every show, I give every girl in the audience a kiss!" He 'nyuk-nyuk'd and caressed the girl holding his arm.
"C'mon boys, let's go and let you buy us drinks!"
"Yeah it's New Year's!"
"Okay!" They both said.
"W-wait a minute, fellas! What about me?"
"Ah don't worry, kid!" Shemp assured. "Like I said, Moe'll cool off."
"And we'll be right back in the morning.." He looked at the pretty girl, grinning. "If we're not married, of course."
Larry begged. "Please guys, I-"
"Happy New Year, Larry!"
Too late, the two lucky guys were already walking off with their new chicks. Larry was about to pull his hair out when he got an idea, and ran to the nearest open store.
Later on, closer and closer to midnight, Moe sat at home on the couch, still watching TV. Everytime a bad artist came on, Moe threw a potato chip at the TV, calling them something like "bubblebrained musician". Larry quietly came in the door with a bag of things, sitting next to Moe on the couch. Surprisingly, he didn't give him a 'welcome-home' smack or a 'nice to see you' eyepoke, just nodded to him. It was better than nothing.
"Eh, I don't like this guy." Larry said about the singer on TV.
"You're tellin' me, every time I see him it makes me wanna gouge his eyes out." Moe agreed.
Larry smiled and nodded awkwardly, then opened the bag. "Oh uh, I got some stuff from a store that was still open."
Moe looked at it all. "More pies, more chips, a few sodas. Hey, that's my favorite glass I broke!"
"Yeah, I felt bad, so I went and looked for it and they had it at the store, so I got it again."
Moe smiled at the cup and poured some soda in it. "Thanks, Porcupine, I never woulda-" Then he noticed there was scotch tape all over the cup. "What's the idea of all this tape?"
"So the cup won't break on Curly's head next time."
Moe inspected all the tape and...he was quite impressed. "That's pretty ingenious." He gave Larry a friendly noogie. "You're one of the smartest idiots I know."
"There's other smart idiots?" Larry inquired.
"Sure, but none of them as smart as you." He patted his companion on the head, leaving Larry to blush. "Speaking of other idiots, where are those two bonehead brothers of mine?"
"A couple girls mistaked them for internet superstars, so now they're out having the night of their lives. They'll be back tomorrow...unless they get married."
Moe chuckled. "Imagine that...those two nitwits superstars? The girls must be wacky!"
Larry nodded and shrugged. "Yeah, who needs 'em?"
Moe reclined on the couch. "Yeah, who needs girls? You and me both, Larry. Girls don't understand us two."
"You got that right." Larry said as he reclined.
When the 2-minute countdown began, Moe grabbed up Larry.
"Hey I just thought of something. What kinda resolutions are we gonna get for the new year?"
Larry scratched his head. "Eh, I guess I'll save up for a new pair of shoes."
Moe looked at him, grinning. "Anything else?"
Larry grabbed his shirt anxiously. "Uh I-I'll learn more songs on the piano."
Moe looked and saw it was close to being a minute 'til midnight. "No, you weasel-head! Something romance-related!"
Larry's eyes widely opened, causing him to blush. When it came to that, he had so many resolutions, but he couldn't tell Moe any of them! He was probably planning on looking for a new dame in the year, regardless of the 'who needs girls' comment!
"I-I can't say, Moe I-I can't..."
"No? Well, I can! I like you, Larry, LIKE like you. I-I know I don't show it a lot, but I mean it! I like you!"
Soon enough, it was midnight. Everything happened so quickly! Even Larry tried to talk.
"Moe I-I like you t-"
Moe quickly grabbed his red-headed companion in for a kiss, savoring the moment. It was a nice, long, no-tongue kiss. They hadn't noticed that they were holding each others' hands through the moment. Soon, they broke for air. Larry looked like hee was gonna have a heart attack, but Moe caught him.
"Larry, Larry! Say somethin'! What were you saying before I kissed ya?"
Larry looked into Moe's eyes. "I-I like you too. LIKE like ya."
For a moment, Moe dazingly looked at him for what seemed like minutes until...
"Why didn't you say so before midnight?" With that, he slapped Larry silly.
"I'm sorry, Moe, I-I just thought you'd be disgusted at me for showing my feelings and then you'd hit me."
"Well I already hit ya, so it doesn't make a difference." He grabbed his soda and gave it to Larry. "Drink this and you'll feel better."
Larry took a few long sips while Moe talked to him.
"Yeah, I-I feel better now that I've gotten that off my chest. You know, whenever I'd watch a lovey-dovey scene from one of those rom-com movies, I'd pretend it was you and me and we'd-"
All of a sudden, Larry spit all of the soda out onto Moe's face, angering him.
"I-I'm sorry Moe-"
"What's the matter with you? You can't even keep soda down while I talk to ya! You're always clumsy, you're an imbecile and always bringin' me the wrong chinese food, and you always hog that bed of ours at night!"
Larry, meanwhile, shielded his face from a pending attack.
Istead, Moe smiled. "But I still like you anyway. C'mere!" With that, he roped a surprised Larry in for a hug, kissing him.
"Happy new year, Larry, ya frizzhead."
Larry smiled and snorted, hugging Moe tightly back and enjoying the embrace. "Happy new year to you too, Moe."