Micky shot straight up, awake and alert. He looked around, confused. Why was his face wet? Why did his chest hurt? What made him shoot awake so fast?...
Then he remembered...
She's gone.
The past week flashed before his eyes like a movie on a shaky projector screen; jumps, fade-to-blacks, and blips of gray along with a sad melody in the background for good measure.
"Micky, I have wonderful news!"
"Really? What is it?"
"Oh babe, I can't tell you something like this over the phone! I'm coming over! I love you!"
Click.
He hadn't even gotten to say "I love you" back before she had hung up.
The day he'd asked her to marry him ran through his head right about then... how beautiful she had looked. Her hair shone brightly, her eyes sparkled in the California sun, her smile mega-watt. They competed with the tiny diamond on the little band he'd presented to her, in hopes of her saying yes, and her exquisite beauty had won out.
Then it came...
"Mick, c'mon, something bad's happened!" Mike burst through the door exclaiming.
He got up from where he had been reading his magazine, "Mike, what...?"
"It's Carrie."
The grave look in Mike's eyes scared Micky, and upon this he had no choice but to go with him, both running to the Monkeemobile. MIke didn't seem able to speak, just drove as fast as he could. Not far down the road, Micky saw the flashing lights and heard the sirens.
His stomach sank when he spotted the little blue bug... the driver's side was smashed in.
"No," he choked, then wrenched open the door to the car as it stopped. "No!" he barely strangeled out, running to the chaotic scene. Policemen, EMT's, on-lookers... but where was his lovely bride-to-be?
A policeman stopped him, "Son, you can't come through here."
"That's my fiance's car, where is she?"
"Son, step back, you can't be here."
MIke caught up and stood behind him, trying to pull him back. "Mick, c'mon..."
"Dammit, Mike, Carrie's in there somewhere and I'm gonna find her!"
He tore through the policeman who had been blocking him and ran to the lttle, mangled car that his fiance had no doubt been driving. But she wasn't there. It was then he noticed the other car and the disoriented man leaning against it, being questioned. Where was Carrie?
The ambulance!
He ran to it, expecting to see her sitting in the back of it, being treated for minor injuries... but what he saw...
He went numb.
He pulled himself from the horrible memory and instead, clips of them frolicking on the beach here and there took over. The first time they made love... their first fight... tears welled in his eyes based on that memory alone. The tears brought about another slideshow.
The quiet of the tiny room suffocated Micky. His friends stood back, giving him room for what could have been possibly the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.
He saw Carrie's mother, and when she saw him, she began to cry, "Oh, Micky..." she embraced him, and he her, that numb feeling creeping upon him, trying to protect him from what was coming.
She took his arm and they walked over to the beautifully polished casket.
"She looks like she's sleeping, doesn't she?" her mother asked the drummer, smiling through her tears as they continued to pour down her cheeks.
"She looks... " he swallowed the lump forming in his throat, "beautiful as ever, ma'am."
Her mother sniffled deeply, patted Micky's hand, and walked away, giving him time with Carrie alone.
He looked down into her angelic face... she did look like she was sleeping. Silently, he pleaded with her to wake up, to tell him this was just some horrible prank... he would forgive her... anything to have her back.
Micky began to outright sob, jamming the heels of his hands into his eyes. "God, Carrie..."
He saw her face in his mind, smiling, alive... how he longed to just live in his mind for the rest of his life.
Davy sat reading the newspaper the day after Carrie died, and the headline hit Micky like a two by four to the head:
Young Woman Killed by Drunk Driver
That bastard would never stay in prison long enough to pay for the crime he had committed... not just the drunk driving, but stopping the sun from shining. Making the birds stop singing. Making the world dead and hopeless...
Then just as rapidly the picture flashed once again:
He carried her casket to its grave on the hill from the black hearse. Her father and two brothers were also pall-bearers, so he had claimed the back so no one could see his tears. But this wouldn't have mattered, for as soon as her coffin had been removed from the car, the sky opened up and poured.
Her grave-side funeral services were appropriately accompanied by a steady falling rain. Everyone else pulled out umbrellas, but Micky never bothered. His eyes never left the wooden seplecher, but happier images danced in his mind. He held the white rose, her favorite, delicately in his fingers. Like clockwork, as soon as the minister had done his duty, Micky followed her parents and her little sister as they dropped their own rose onto the coffin. He gently kissed his before putting it down and walking away with great haste.
He irrationally blamed himself, beat himself up mentally. His friends could do nothing to comfort him... and it only got worse.
"Micky?" he heard Carrie's little sister say from behind him.
He turned, quickly wiping his eyes. "Hey, Suzy..."
She seemed pensive about what she was about to say, hesitating, but then took a deep breath and stepped closer. "Micky, I know what she was going to tell you."
He almost reeled back. Her parents hadn't mentioned anything to him...
"Our folks didn't know... I only knew because I... well, I found her when she found out."
His heart sank as she took a shaky, tear-laiden breath before she finally told her dead sister's secret.
"She was pregnant, Micky..."
His sobs racked his body hard and he wrapped his arms around himself. It had damn near killed him, hearing that. His memories flashed back and forth between their blissful times together and the tumoltulous days after her death. He irrationally blamed himself, begging the heavens for a chance to redo things, to maybe go to her instead to hear the wonderful news of their beautiful child... But his prayers seemed to have fallen upon deaf ears, for here he sat still in his dark room, tears streaking his cheeks and sobs making his already hurting chest burn with fire.
It had been just a couple of days after the funeral that he had opened the door to find Carrie's parents standing there, holding a box that contained his things, as well as things he had given to Carrie. All more painful reminders, but he thanked them anyway.
He reached under his bed for that very same box and sniffed back his tears, wiping his eyes as he opened it. Inside, not only did he find those mementos, but also... her diary.
Of all things, he hadn't expected this... Upon flipping through it, he found random snapshots of the two of them together, as well as movie ticket stubs and other things. The very last page that was written on, it seemed, was written right before she had called him.
...Oh, I'm ever so excited! Micky and I are pregnant! Oh my god, I've got to tell him! Then we can tell our parents! I wonder what it will be...
"Micky, I have wonderful news!"
"Really? What is it?"
"Oh babe, I can't tell you something like this over the phone! I'm coming over! I love you!"
Click...
END
2/16/2012