A/N Me and my dear friend Dancerchick17 created this masterpiece while we were IMing… We thought you might enjoy it! My deepest apologies if it makes absolutely NO sense whatsoever.
Captain Jaqulene:(draws sword) BACK AWAY AND NO ONE GETS HURT! (laughes)
Captain Jackie: (draws sword) You think its wise, girl, crossing blades with a pirate?
Captain Jackie: (laughes)
Captain Jaqulene:(glares) Well since I'm a pirate too...yes!
Captain Jackie: (laughes)
Captain Jaqulene:(glares again) Stop glaring Sparrow and fight me like a man
Captain Jaqulene: (laughing)
Captain Jackie: (does some fancy trick with sword and knocks hers out of her hand) HAHA!!!!!!
Captain Jackie: YOU'RE MINE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Captain Jackie: I HAVE DEFEATED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Captain Jaqulene: (kicks her to the ground)
Captain Jackie: MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Captain Jackie: (rolls over and kicks her back)
Captain Jaqulene: (grabs her sword and points it at her neck) now whos winning?
Captain Jackie: (grabs sword and holds it away from her)
Captain Jackie: (kicks it out of her hand)
Captain Jackie: (laughes)
Captain Jaqulene: (pulls her hair)
Captain Jackie: (does that flying thing with a rope like jack)
Captain Jaqulene: (does the same) her can't get away that easy...whoever you are
Captain Jaqulene:!
Captain Jackie: (pulls flaming sword out of nowhere like the whelp)
Captain Jackie: AWAY, HER FILTHY BILGE RAT!!!
Captain Jaqulene: (does some cool ninja like tricks and throws her to the ground, slaps her repeatedly) NO ONE CALLS CAPTAIN JAQULENE A FILTHY BILGE RAT!!!!
Captain Jackie: (runs away and sticks out tongue) THEN MY NAME IS NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Captain Jaqulene: (runs after her) I WILL NOT SAY HER THOSE WORDS BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL THINK I'M CRAZY!
Captain Jaqulene: AND YOUR NAME IS NOT NO ONE!
Captain Jackie: (draws sword again and holds it against her neck) HAHA!!!! Its MY ship now!!!!!!!!
Captain Jaqulene: BACK HERE HER FILTHY RUM SOAKED PIRATE!
Captain Jaqulene: (pulls out own sword) didn't know we were fighting over a ship...what's your name pirate?
Captain Jackie: CAPTAIN JACKIE SPARROW!!!!!!!!!
Captain Jaqulene: (does a cool backwards sword trick, fights her) JACKIE SPARROW? ARE HER MARRIED TO JACK SPARROW?
Captain Jackie: (fights back) YES AND HE SHARES MY BED!!!! SO HA!!!!!!!!
Captain Jackie: AND IT'S CAPTAIN!!!!!!!!!
Captain Jaqulene: (glares...fights her off) NOT LIKE I CARE...I'VE SHARED A BED WITH HIM COUNTLESS TIMES...SORRY HONEY...I THINK HES CHEATING ON YOU!
Captain Jackie: I DON'T CARE I HAVE HIS CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!! SO HA!!!!!!!!!
Captain Jackie:AND HES SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!
Captain Jackie: (does a cool flip)
Captain Jaqulene: (rolls eyes) IF HE WASN'T SEXY DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD HAVE SHARED A BED WITH HIM?
Captain Jackie: (kicks her)
Captain Jaqulene: (kicks back, pulls out a pistol) IF YOU KICK ME AGAIN, I SWEAR I WILL SHOOT YOU!
Captain Jackie: WELL IVE USED HIS JAR OF DIRT AS A SEX TOY!!! SO NYA!!!!
Captain Jackie:(pulls out pistol) NOT IF I SHOOT YOU FIRST!!!!!!!
Captain Jaqulene: THAT'S ACTUALLY VERY GROSS! (walks around her with pistol aimed and loaded)
Captain Jackie:(mimics her movements)
Captain Jaqulene: (grabs a rope and does another cool Jack rope trick)
Captain Jackie: (shoots rope so Captain Jaqulene falls down)
Captain Jaqulene:(lands on feet) NICE TRY JACKIE... (shoots)
Captain Jackie: (dodges and shoots back)
Captain Jaqulene:(dodges, and shoots Jackie...then pulls a little knife out of her boot...aims and throws)
Captain Jackie: (dodges and throws dagger, pins her to the wall by her shirt)
Captain Jackie: (holds sword to her throat) SURRENDER YOU MANGY CUR!!!
Captain Jaqulene:(grabs her arm...makes her drop sword) NEVER...NOT UNTIL I WIN WHATEVER IT IS WE ARE FIGHTING OVER!
Captain Jaqulene:screams, slaps her)
Captain Jackie: (yells) JAAAACCCCKKKK!!!!! THIS BITCH SAYS YOU'VE CHEATED ON ME!!!!!!!!
Captain Jaqulene:IT'S ONLY BECAUSE HE HAS...(slaps her hard) THAT WAS FOR CALLING ME A BITCH!!!!!
Captain Jackie: (bitch slaps her)
Captain Jackie: (punches her lights out)
Jack: (shuts them up w/ kisses)
Captain Jackie: (swoons)
Captain Jaqulene:(double swoons...reaches around Jack tries to punch Jackie)
Captain Jackie: (leads Jack to cabin, locks door)
Captain Jaqulene: (kicks door open)
Captain Jaqulene:(runs to the door and brakes it down)
Captain Jaqulene: YOU LITTLE BITCH
Jack: um... darlin'... I can explain!
Jack: threesome?
Captain Jaqulene: (runs at Jackie and starts beating the crap out of her)
Captain Jackie: (slaps both of u)
Captain Jaqulene: (turns and glares at Jack) NO I WILL NOT HAVE A THREESOME!!!
Captain Jackie: ME NEITHER!!!!
Captain Jackie: (slaps him again)
Captain Jackie: (turns back to punching her)
Captain Jackie: (kicks her in the stomach)
Captain Jaqulene: (stands up and kicks her to the ground..runs at Jack)
Captain Jackie: (gets up and pushes her away, runs into jacks arms and sails into the sunset)
Captain Jaqulene: ahem...I am still on the ship
Captain Jaqulene: (runs at her from behind picks her up by the hair and throws her overboard)
Captain Jackie: (grabs onto side of ship and pulls herself back on board)
Captain Jaqulene:(runs into jack's arms and they sail off into the sunset)
Captain Jackie: (pushes her out of his arms and starts making out with jack)
Captain Jaqulene: (pushes her away...and kicks her for good measure and starts making out with Jack)
Captain Jackie: (knocks her out cold and locks her in the brig, starts making out with jack again)
Captain Jaqulene: (wakes up brakes out of the brig) You forgot to lock the door! (pulls her off of Jack...throws her in a trash can and starts making out with Jack)
Captain Jaqulene: JACK IS MINE AND ALWAYS WILL BE
Captain Jackie: (wins the fight and jack)
Captain Jaqulene: OH NO YOU DON'T!!!!!!!!!
Captain Jaqulene: YOU WILL NEVER WIN JACK EVER
Captain Jackie: OH YES I DID!!!!!
Captain Jackie: HE MINE NOW!!!!
Captain Jackie: (cackles)
Captain Jaqulene: (Jack sneaks out of her house...comes to find Jaqulene and never sees her again ever)
Captain Jackie: (takes jack back and seduces him)
Captain Jaqulene: (Jack sneaks out to Jaqulene again...and she seduce him better than Jackie)
Captain Jackie: (banishes her to a place where jack can't find her and seduces him even BETTER than her)
Captain Jaqulene:(Jack finds her) Silly girl there is no where you can put me that Jack can't find me! (and he seduces her)
Captain Jaqulene:HA! BEAT THAT
Captain Jackie: (kills her)
Captain Jaqulene: HOW DARE YOU...OH WELL (Jack kills himself because he is sad without her and they meet in heaven and live happily ever after)
Captain Jaqulene: HA HA HA!!!!!
Captain Jackie: (brings jack back to life and erases his memory of Jaqulene, he proclaims his love for her and they live happily ever after and never see her again)
Captain Jaqulene:okay okay you win...for now anyway!
Captain Jackie: (laughes)
Captain Jackie: HA!
Captain Jackie: VICTORY IS MINE!!!!!!!!
Captain Jaqulene:Although Jack will always be mine...
Captain Jackie: NO HES MINE!!!!
Captain Jaqulene:How about this...we can share him and he can be ours
Captain Jackie: fine