AN: Right so, this story just came to me. I'm sure the timeline is all weird and Lucy might be a bit OOC but I wrote what was in my head. I hope you enjoy it.

I don't own Fairy Tail etc.

It was too much for Lucy. The kiss had been the final straw. For the past few months she had watched as Natsu, her best friend, her nakama, drift further away and into the arms of another. The worst part was that he didn't seem to notice that her world was crumbling. Never had her losses weighed so heavily on her as they did now. Who did she have left? Her mother, gone. Her father, gone. Even Aquarius, tempestuous though she was, had been there from the beginning, those years after her mother had died and she was all alone. Through Lucy's own actions, she was gone too. Now her final thread was breaking.

It would be unfair to say she did not have other people whom she loved and cared for and who loved and cared for her in return. But on a fundamental level, a special few she needed to survive. Natsu was the only one left on that list. She had known for some time that she loved him as more than just a friend. Even when she was angry with him, she was happy because he was there. A single action or word from him could make or break her day. She'd be a fool if she didn't know what the signs meant. Well no, she'd be Natsu. She allowed herself a brief, teary smile as she looked out at the sea. Hargeon, the place where it all began.

Lisanna had returned. Natsu had been so happy. Happy had been so happy. They followed her everywhere as if afraid that she might disappear. A happy little family. Sure, Natsu was always friendly – but these days it was in passing and usually it was to tell her about the adventures the little family had been on. He invited her every once in a while, but she couldn't bear to be around them and would politely decline to go on missions with Levy or Gray, once even Gajeel. She had enjoyed that mission, he hadn't asked her any questions and she'd been efficiently silent, no pressure to socialise. The night time visits stopped. Lucy would never admit to anyone how much she missed the comforting presence of Natsu in her bed, she always felt safe when he was around. But now she never felt safe.

She was being silly, she knew that. So many people loved her, she was so lucky. Her friends at Fairy Tail, her spirits – but it wasn't enough. She needed Natsu like she needed to breathe. When he had walked proudly into the guild holding Lisanna's hand before giving her a chaste kiss, Lucy had felt like she was drowning. The thread that had bound them together had snapped and she was adrift. She remembered blindly walking out the backdoor praying that no one would notice her.

And now she was here, on the cliffs above Hargeon, looking out to sea as the sun was setting. It was a glorious last view. Her life would end in the place where it began. There were better ways to deal with this pain, Lucy wasn't stupid. But she was too tired, too broken to find a way. She had exhausted her final reserves of energy and now just wanted everything to stop. She wanted to rest. If she was lucky, she might even see her parents again.

"Lucy?" she jumped at the familiar voice behind her.

"Hey Loke," She replied without turning. She felt him sit on the grass nest to her, "what brings you here, I don't recall summoning you." She didn't sound angry, just tired.

"What's wrong Lucy? I mean really?" he cut her off as she opened her mouth. "We're your spirits and we can feel something is off with you. It's like a dark cloud is blocking the sun. We're all worried about you, even Aquarius." Lucy felt the tears welling up at the mention of her spirit whom she could never see again. Her fault. "Please talk to me Lucy." She could feel him willing her to look at him but she didn't want to see his face.

"I've just been a little down, that's all. The world has been weighing down on me pretty heavily." She decided there was no point denying there was something wrong as he would know she was lying, so a half truth would do. "I just never have time to myself you know? Recently, I just feel like my life has been a constant string of getting picked on and beaten for being the weakest mage in the group." Her voice cracked and tears began rolling silently down her face.

Loke put his arm around her shoulder, "You know that's not true Lucy." He began.

"Probably not Loke, but that's what it feels like!" she snapped, surprising him. Then she sighed resignedly. "Dodge, taunt, beat. Wash, rinse, repeat." He would have argued with her but looking at her face, he decided to concede her point and change the subject.

"What are you doing here anyway?" he said looking out at the ocean, "you on a job?"

"No," she replied quietly, "I needed somewhere to think, alone. The guild is out of the question. My house isn't the haven it should be. So, I came here, to where it all began…" she trailed off. Something about the way she said it made Loke uneasy. "Even Natsu wouldn't think to find me here, he hates trains." She continued, she almost sounded relieved.

"I guess that's my cue if you want to be alone." He made a mental note to talk to the guild about respecting Lucy's privacy. Normally, he would find these facts amusing and he was pretty sure she didn't really mind. But right now, it was clear she'd had enough. "You know where to find me if you want to talk, all you have to do is call."

Lucy smiled up at him, "Thanks Loke, you're the best." He smiled at her, feeling a little better before fading away as his gate closed. Lucy sighed, that had been exhausting, a monumental effort to make her spirit happy one last time.

There was a gentle breeze as she looked out once again to the horizon and waited for the sun to go down.

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, please feel free to leave a review (constructive criticism is welcome).

If you are having any dark thoughts or are struggling to keep balance in your life, please talk to someone. Even if it is your local Samaritans, a service which is totally free and anonymous.

Until next time.