DISCLAIMER: One Life to Live and its characters are the property of ABC; no copyright infringement is intended.
x
x
x
Tea knows what I did.
While he'd been keeping himself busy - charming Blair, Starr, and Sam, blackmailing Jack - Todd Manning had been able to put that out of his mind. But now, alone in bed, he could think of nothing else. He'd lain awake for hours, agonizing over it. How could he ever again think of anything else?
Tea knows what I did.
He'd seen it in her eyes. She knew he'd killed Victor, framed her brother Tomas, done something to Tomas. She probably thinks I had him killed after he made the phone call to Blair.
Starr had called him that evening, to pass on something she'd learned from Dani. Tea was in the hospital. She'd had a scare, thought she was about to lose the baby she wanted so desperately. It had seemingly been a false alarm, just cramps brought on by stress. But her doctor was keeping her in the hospital overnight, as a precaution.
I'm to blame for that stress.
And I've been telling Baker he can't kill Tomas because I refuse to have more blood on my hands. But if Tea were to lose the baby, that would be another death I've caused!
Hell, she isn't that far along. Doesn't even show yet.
No, but to her, that baby is a person. All she has left of the husband she knows I killed.
He couldn't close his eyes without seeing Tea's. Bitter, accusing.
By now he wasn't sure he wanted sleep to come. My dreams might be worse.
But come it did, finally. And a dream came with it...
x
x
x
Once again, he was looking into Tea's eyes. But now, for some reason, they weren't bitter or accusing. They were kind...understanding...brimming with sympathy and love.
She held out her hand, as if she expected him to place something in it.
"Give me the gun, Todd. You know you don't really want to shoot anyone! But if you keep carrying that gun around, you might give in to some impulse you'd later regret."
He realized, now, that he was holding a gun. And he didn't want to give it up. He said slowly, "The door of the safe wasn't shut tight. It seemed like a sign, you know? A sign that I was meant to go back and get the gun."
"No, no! Your coming here and showing it to me was the 'sign,' Todd! Deep down, you wanted someone you trusted to take it away from you."
He was only half-listening. "I really did come close to using it! But then I saw you in bed with Victor. Both of you saying you loved each other.
"And it's funny - well, sort of funny. I didn't just stop because I couldn't kill him with a witness there. It was like the two of you being in love changed things, somehow. At least for that moment, I stopped wanting to kill him."
He kept toying with the gun.
"I'm so thankful for that, Todd! Now you just need to let go of the gun. Give it to someone you trust.
"You can trust me. Just give me the gun, and I'll take care of it. No one will know you ever had it."
He realized she was right. He handed her the gun, felt a wave of relief...
And woke with a start.
x
x
x
Shock.
Pain.
And then utter despair, as reality came crashing down on him.
Oh my God. A dream...a dream of what could have happened...should have happened.
If only I had given the damn gun to Tea. To someone!
He got out of bed and paced. Shaking, weeping.
At last he collapsed in a chair.
He didn't think there was any chance he'd go back to sleep.
But he did.
x
x
x
He was looking into, not Tea's eyes, but Blair's. They were kind...understanding...brimming with sympathy and love.
She held out her hand.
"Give me the gun, Todd. You know you don't really want to shoot anyone! But if you keep carrying that gun around, you might give in to some impulse you'd later regret."
He said, "The door of the safe wasn't shut tight. It seemed like a sign, you know? A sign that I was meant to go back and get the gun."
"No, no! Your coming here and showing it to me was the 'sign,' Todd! Deep down, you wanted someone you trusted to take it away from you."
He told her, "I really did come close to using it! But then I saw Tea in bed with Victor. Both of them saying they loved each other.
"And it's funny - well, sort of funny. I didn't just stop because I couldn't kill him with a witness there. It was like the two of them being in love changed things, somehow. At least for that moment, I stopped wanting to kill him."
He kept toying with the gun.
"I'm so thankful for that, Todd! Now you just need to let go of the gun. Give it to someone you trust.
"You can trust me. Just give me the gun, and I'll take care of it. No one will know you ever had it."
She was right. He handed her the gun, felt a wave of relief.
Suddenly, he realized he could make peace with Victor. In the most important area of their lives - the all-important area - they weren't rivals! Victor was in love with Tea, and he was in love with Blair!
Everything else could be sorted out. He could prove in court, if necessary, who he was and in what time periods he'd been running the Sun. He and his twin had identical DNA, but not identical fingerprints or, perhaps more significantly, histories of dental work. He could prove what wealth he was entitled to, and then share amicably; he didn't really believe Victor had known the truth all along. They were both victims of their dastardly mother, Irene.
He smiled at Blair, sure everything was going to be all right...
And then he woke up.
x
x
x
God, no! Not again!
This time he stayed huddled in the chair, sobbing. Until...
x
x
x
He was looking into, not Blair's eyes, but Viki's. They were kind...understanding...brimming with sympathy and love.
She held out her hand.
"Give me the gun, Todd. You know you don't really want to shoot anyone! But if you keep carrying that gun around, you might give in to some impulse you'd later regret."
He said, "The door of the safe wasn't shut tight. It seemed like a sign, you know? A sign that I was meant to go back and get the gun."
"No, no! Your coming here and showing it to me was the 'sign,' Todd! Deep down, you wanted someone you trusted to take it away from you."
He told her, "I really did come close to using it! But then I saw Tea in bed with Victor. Both of them saying they loved each other.
"And it's funny - well, sort of funny. I didn't just stop because I couldn't kill him with a witness there. It was like the two of them being in love changed things, somehow. At least for that moment, I stopped wanting to kill him."
He kept toying with the gun.
"I'm so thankful for that, Todd! Now you just need to let go of the gun. Give it to someone you trust.
"You can trust me. Just give me the gun, and I'll take care of it. No one will know you ever had it."
She was right. He handed her the gun, felt a wave of relief.
He knew he could make peace with Victor. In the most important area of their lives - the all-important area - they weren't rivals! Victor was in love with Tea, and he was in love with Blair!
Everything else could be sorted out. He could prove who he was and in what time periods he'd been running the Sun. He and his twin had identical DNA, but not identical fingerprints or histories of dental work. He could prove what wealth he was entitled to, and then share amicably; he didn't really believe Victor had known the truth all along. They were both victims of their dastardly mother, Irene.
He smiled at Viki, sure everything was going to be all right...
And the dream continued.
He was in another place, at a later time. Outdoors, in the rain.
Yes, of course! He was outside Victor's house, anxious to talk to him and begin trying to set things right. He'd approach his brother with his hands outstretched, clearly showing he was unarmed.
If Victor let him in.
But now he saw that the front door was ajar. That didn't make much sense, but his response was a goofy smile. Another "sign"! Victor, or the house itself, was welcoming him! He was about to step through the doorway...
And he woke up.
x
x
x
This time, he decided he'd move heaven and earth to stay awake.
He downed three cups of black coffee.
He didn't remember when he stopped pacing and fell onto the bed...
x
x
x
He was looking into, not Viki's eyes, but Starr's. They were kind...understanding...brimming with sympathy and love.
She held out her hand.
"Give me the gun, Dad. You know you don't really want to shoot anyone! But if you keep carrying that gun around, you might give in to some impulse you'd later regret."
He said, "The door of the safe wasn't shut tight. It seemed like a sign, you know? A sign that I was meant to go back and get the gun."
"No, no! Your coming here and showing it to me was the 'sign,' Dad! Deep down, you wanted someone you trusted to take it away from you."
He told her, "I really did come close to using it! But then I saw Tea in bed with Victor. Both of them saying they loved each other.
"And it's funny - well, sort of funny. I didn't just stop because I couldn't kill him with a witness there. It was like the two of them being in love changed things, somehow. At least for that moment, I stopped wanting to kill him."
He kept toying with the gun.
"I'm so thankful for that, Dad! Now you just need to let go of the gun. Give it to someone you trust.
"You can trust me. Just give me the gun, and I'll take care of it. No one will know you ever had it."
She was right. He handed her the gun, felt a wave of relief.
He knew he could make peace with Victor. In the most important area of their lives - the all-important area - they weren't rivals! Victor was in love with Tea, and he was in love with Blair!
Everything else could be sorted out. He could prove who he was and in what time periods he'd been running the Sun. He and his twin had identical DNA, but not identical fingerprints or histories of dental work. He could prove what wealth he was entitled to, and then share amicably; he didn't really believe Victor had known the truth all along. They were both victims of their dastardly mother, Irene.
He smiled at Starr, sure everything was going to be all right...
And the dream continued.
He was in another place, at a later time. Outdoors, in the rain.
Outside Victor's house, anxious to talk to him and begin trying to set things right. He'd approach his brother with his hands outstretched, clearly showing he was unarmed.
If Victor let him in.
But now he saw that the front door was ajar. That didn't make much sense, but his response was a goofy smile. Another "sign"! Victor, or the house itself, was welcoming him! He was about to step through the doorway...
And he had a strange thought.
This isn't right. The door was closed and locked. I found the keys on the ground outside the door.
Didn't I?
And then, he woke up.
x
x
x
This is crazy! I'm going crazy! How can I be "objecting," inside a dream, to something in the dream not being like it was in real life?
I did find those keys on the ground, didn't I?
What does it matter, when the dream was about a different situation, where I was supposedly going there without a gun?
My God. How can any of it "matter"? It's just a damn dream!
By now he'd decided coffee wouldn't keep him awake. So he tried going to the other extreme - putting himself in too deep a sleep to dream, or at least to remember any dreams. He dosed himself - possibly overdosed himself - with Ambien, and added a little alcohol for good measure.
A famous actor accidentally killed himself this way...
He was too miserable to care.
x
x
x
He was looking into, not Starr's eyes, but Irene's. Even she, though, seemed to radiate sincerity and concern for him. Her eyes were kind...understanding...brimming with sympathy and love.
She held out her hand.
"Give me the gun, Todd. You know you don't really want to shoot anyone! But if you keep carrying that gun around, you might give in to some impulse you'd later regret."
He said, "The door of the safe wasn't shut tight. It seemed like a sign, you know? A sign that I was meant to go back and get the gun."
"No, no! Your coming here and showing it to me was the 'sign,' Todd! Deep down, you wanted someone you trusted to take it away from you."
He told her, "I really did come close to using it! But then I saw Tea in bed with Victor. Both of them saying they loved each other.
"And it's funny - well, sort of funny. I didn't just stop because I couldn't kill him with a witness there. It was like the two of them being in love changed things, somehow. At least for that moment, I stopped wanting to kill him."
He kept toying with the gun.
"I'm so thankful for that, Todd! Now you just need to let go of the gun. Give it to someone you trust.
"You can trust me. Just give me the gun, and I'll take care of it. No one will know you ever had it."
She was right. He handed her the gun, felt a wave of relief.
He knew he could make peace with Victor. In the most important area of their lives - the all-important area - they weren't rivals! Victor was in love with Tea, and he was in love with Blair!
Everything else could be sorted out. He could prove who he was and in what time periods he'd been running the Sun. He and his twin had identical DNA, but not identical fingerprints or histories of dental work. He could prove what wealth he was entitled to, and then share amicably; he didn't really believe Victor had known the truth all along. They were both victims of...of...their dastardly mother, Irene.
Irene? Who seemed so sweet and considerate now?
Had he been wrong in handing the gun to her?
In handing it to...anyone?
He smiled at Irene, but it was an uneasy smile.
The dream continued.
He was in another place, at a later time. Outdoors, in the rain.
Outside Victor's house, anxious to talk to him and begin trying to set things right. He'd approach his brother with his hands outstretched, clearly showing he was unarmed.
If Victor let him in.
But now he saw that the front door was ajar. That didn't make much sense, but his response was a goofy smile. Another "sign"! Victor, or the house itself, was welcoming him! He was about to step through the doorway...
And he had a strange thought.
This isn't right. The door was closed and locked. I found the keys on the ground outside the door.
Didn't I?
And then he heard a voice that wasn't his say clearly, "I found the keys on the ground outside the door."
Wh-what?
He didn't know where the voice had come from. Inside his head, maybe. He wasn't sure how it fit into...whatever was going on around him. But it was female. And he'd heard it before.
In fact, he suddenly remembered all the previous dreams. And realized that while the woman's features had changed, the voice had always been the same. This voice.
And no, it wasn't the voice of the hated Irene.
He stepped through the doorway. Dazed, yet somehow knowing what he'd see.
She stood with her back to him. Looking down at the lifeless body of his brother.
Her brother.
The man everyone had stupidly begun calling "Victor Lord."
She said, "You take my life, Victor...I take yours."
He realized they were alone in the house. She must have been standing there for some time; approaching on foot, he hadn't heard the gunshot.
Was she talking to him before, while he was still conscious? Telling him who she is, why she'd done it?
Should I make an anonymous call to nine-one-one?
No, don't risk it. With this much blood on the floor, he must already be dead.
He gripped her gently, turned her to face him.
He knew, at last, that he was dealing with an alter named Tori.
And now he heard himself telling her, "You can trust me. Just give me the gun, and I'll take care of it. No one will know you ever had it."
x
x
x
This time, when Todd Manning woke up, he began to scream.