Ummm.., i'm not really sure if this is really consistent with the prologue. I actually began with the idea that I'm going to make two stories but i'm too lazy to do two stories so i just decided to just combine it (i also posted this in KFFDISC last november).
Standard Disclaimer Applies
Chapter 1
Fallen Stars
It had been a month since that incident happened but the memory still burns. Every time I remember it, the despair and emptiness still remains. Everything I have fought for was all for nothing. I have been living in an illusion for 10 years. When you start facing reality once again, all your actions in the past haunt you. Faces of people I have killed come lurking in every place I go. Somehow, when you realize that you've been wrong for all these years, your world crashes.
How I long for death but it wouldn't come. And even if I tried to kill myself, it would be wrong. From this point on, I would be living a life full of guilt and regrets. A life not worth living but I would accept it as my punishment. Hoping that someday, I might make amends to all the people I have killed.
I still grieve for the death of my sister and this grief had destroyed me. Her smile that had helped me for years had faded. Faded due to my cruelty and hatred. I didn't know how it happened but I had hurt the one person that she had loved. I hated him for taking her away from me. How I blamed him for her death but looking back, I realized that the one person that I really blamed was myself. I thought I hated him but I really hated myself for not protecting her.
When she died, darkness invaded my soul. I hated the happiness that I see in people. I wanted to destroy their happiness. I wanted them to feel what I felt until I met her…
He loved her… even I could see that. He was happy and I hated him for that. He had no right to happiness the moment he killed my sister. I wanted him to suffer and die in despair. So I took away the most precious person to him and I gloated as he suffered in agony.
I was amazed at her spirit. I thought she would break down and beg for her life but instead she faced me with fierce determination in her eyes. She had beautiful eyes, I realized and I was impressed by her courage. Though she knew that it was hopeless, she stood up to me and I was pleased with her. When she mentioned his name, how I resented Battousai more. He had no right to have her spirit and her whole loyalty to him.
In the prison I have created for her, she showed amazing courage and compassion. At that time, I hoped that I was not what I was. I tried to push that thought away as I savored my revenge. But when she looked at me I wanted to beg for her forgiveness. I told myself that I would survive with just my sister's smile for me. That too was taken away from me. I was horrified to realize that the smile that I have treasured for years was replaced by condemnation. I blamed her so I tried to kill her yet I couldn't do it. I threw up that day.
When I learned that he had decided to live once again, I realized why my sister was sad. I was going to finish him off… that was my resolution. But I lost, my body and soul battered. The person I blamed for the death of my sister was the person she had loved. All that I had been living for through all these years was all for nothing and with this realization, I felt empty.
I had no one and I had to face this but first, I had to rest. I am so very tired but sleep wouldn't come and if it did, nightmares haunt me. I had always prided myself that I was strong but every time I close my eyes, I feel terror seize me and I tremble in fear. These faces, when will it all stop?
Gripped in a nightmare, I was shaken by a soft voice calling me. That voice somehow woke me. Opening my eyes, I realized that there was someone shaking me. And as I opened my eyes I saw her but when I looked at her, she blushed, avoiding my gaze.
Notes:
hmmm, enishi seems to be thinking like keshin...oops sorry for that.
well, their experiences were sort of similar anyway. hey, i'm not much
of a writer, ok? oh, and sorry for my grammar.