I'm not Eoin. Do you really think I would be?
Anyway, after doing two other of these I decided to do... *drumroll* Holly's embarrassing moment! Yay! *end drumroll*
So put your hands together for the amazing, hardcore, strong-willed, Artemis-kisser (did I really just add that?), CAPTAIN HOLLY SHORT!
(And just so people don't get confused, this happened after the first book but before the second, maybe a week after the Fowl Manor Siege.)
Holly Short of the LEP kept her head down as she marched toward her cubicle.
Don't let that door open, please, gods, if I've ever done anything good in my life, anything at all, please don't let that door open—
Of course, the door opened and Commander Julius Root stuck his head out.
"Short! Get in here!" he yelled, promptly slamming it again. Holly winced as she slowly spun on her heels to face the other direction.
"Apparently, I'm a naughty little elf," she told herself curtly as she went up to the door. She braced herself and quietly knocked.
It swung open. "Come in," said Root, and Holly followed him inside. She sat down in front of his desk, watching him smoke on his fungus cigar for a minute before he asked, "Are you okay?"
"I am fine, sir," she replied, not looking him in the eye.
"Just wanted to see how you were coping with this whole Artemis Fowl kidnapping thing," Root continued. "And I was thinking—"
"Please, sir, don't put me on traffic," Holly blurted out without meaning to. "I know this whole 'losing a bunch of gold to a twelve-year-old Mud Boy' is a big hit on our reputation, but I can't be blamed! I got half of the ransom money back! And have you seen that kid's butler? He's huge!"
"Yes, Short, I am aware of the size of the Mud Man," said Root. He sighed, carelessly tossing his cigar into a glass of water, smoke tendrils floating lazily into the air. "I've come to a decision. I'm putting you on tunnel patrol."
"But—!"
"Holly, this incident has shown me you are not yet ready to cope with the tasks of a real-life situation! This whole blasted thing wouldn't have happened if you'd just taken the Ritual earlier!"
"So let Artemis steal another unlucky fairy while they're taking the Ritual?" Holly countered, getting to her feet angrily. "That was one mistake! Check my records. Everything else is perfect!"
"And Hamburg?"
Holly slammed her fist down on the table, causing everything lying on it to jump. "Why does everyone keep bringing that up!? It was once!"
"Holly, you have to understand—"
"No, I can't understand that just because I'm a girl everyone treats me delicately as if I'm fragile! I'm not a spoiled pixie-princess playing dress-up here!"
"Well then stop bloody asking for attention like one!" Root countered, getting to his feet as well. "Holly, I would have done this to any other officer, gender put aside. So stop resorting to excuses!"
There was a long silence as the two elves stared at each other in the eye, daring the other to argue.
"Tunnel patrol," Root sounded out for her. "Now."
Holly pursed her lips tightly, knowing it was no use trying to argue now that the decision was final. "Yes, Commander," she said, forcing her voice to sound even. She turned and walked out of the room to find nearly everyone on the floor standing outside, eavesdropping on the conversation.
"What are you looking at?" Holly growled, not in a mood where you wanted to be around her. "Go away!"
One by one, the fairies began to file back to their cubicles. Holly stormed out along with them on her way to tunnel patrol.
She must have been really dirty to upset the gods this much.
-o-O-o-
Holly ambled up and down the tunnel without any real thought, knowing she wasn't going to find much anyway. She had managed to lose her partner, some new elf who talked too much, by telling him that they'd cover more ground if they split up. She didn't really believe this.
Something buzzed on her belt and she turned to find it was her LEP communicator. Rogue troll, it read. Backup on its way.
This really wasn't her day.
-o-O-o-
She and her team of five walked along the tunnel, searching for a troll through their LEP helmets. A box in the top-right corner was displaying important information they might need later on, so Holly had to keep one eye in front of her and the other on that screen.
There were tons of holes lying about, and Holly nearly stepped in one. She spotted a few swear toads bleeping random profanity before hopping away, and she really hoped that someone would take care of that problem one day.
The new guy was still jabbering nonsense into everyone's helmets, so Holly took the liberty of turning the mute button on. Better than hearing this guy's complaining.
She paused to let the helmet's scanner do its job for a minute, inspecting a nearby hole. Holly barely noticed the others moving on because of her decided radio-silence, and when she looked up they were long gone.
Ah, sod it.
Something came up on her screen. Warning. Large body mass up ahead. Distinguished as… There was a short pause as the helmet processed. Troll, it decided. Caution is advised.
Oh, and it shows up when I'm alone. Beautiful.
The troll was smaller than usual troll standards, but still massive compared to other fairies. Only seven and a half feet tall, which was four and a half feet taller than Holly. By the looks of it, it was probably still in its adolescent years, so tackling him would be easier than the one at the Fowl Manor. She pulled out her Neutrino and held it out in front of her as she'd been taught in school, taking slow and deliberate steps around it.
"Uh… hi," she said before firing a single shot at the brute's head.
The thing moved its head at the last second so that the blue bolt hit one of its tusks instead, which did absolutely nothing to help Holly. The troll roared and lunged, and she barely to dive away. It ripped her LEP suit's sleeve, cutting through her skin. Magic sparks flew up and amended the scratch in no time, but Holly wondered how long she could last.
Holly fired again, this time hitting the troll in head. This didn't do much as trolls have very thick skulls, and to knock one out you'd need to aim at least a dozen consecutive blue bolts at its brain.
The elf yelled into her helmet, "Backup requested, I repeat, backup requested! I have located the troll, and he isn't happy! So get over here!"
Holly shot the troll just as it was about to land on her, slowing his descend enough that she could squirm away. This time she aimed for the chest, which she knew was a bit more vulnerable than the skull, but not by a lot.
(It was the only thing she had, give her a break.)
She spotted the other fairies running down the tunnel to help her. The troll seemed to notice the approaching backup and grew more agitated, swiping at Holly desperately. It actually hit her, knocking the Neutrino from her grasp and picking her up with both hands, lifting her into the air. She felt her ribs strain on the verge of cracking. Blue magic sparks smoothed out the pain, and Holly just wished they'd stay back for when the bones did snap and she actually needed the magic.
The other officers formed a circle around Holly and the troll, weapons raised. They didn't fire for fear of hitting Holly by accident.
This sucks, Holly thought.
The situation reminded her of the Fowl Manor Siege a week earlier. To beat the troll they'd used a bright light. Well, the tunnel was dark, but Holly was still wearing her helmet. Sure, she probably couldn't get the light bright enough to get it to pass out, but she could make it drop her.
"Lights on," she spoke, her voice a strain as her lungs were pushed together. A rib finally cracked and the magic reached out, healing it.
The light on the top of the helmet flashed on, and the troll roared at the brightness, dropping Holly. She fell at its feet and felt like lying there for a long while, but knew that that would do no one any good. She got to her hands and knees and scampered away, finding her Neutrino and holding it with both hands.
"Fire!" a voice echoed into her helmet, and she along with five other fairy officers shot at the troll. It roared again, slashing randomly at the air.
"Fire again!" the voice called out again. The troll still held onto consciousness, trying to lunge at an unexpecting gnome.
"Fire once more—!" Whoever was talking stopped. "Just fire."
Ten seconds and a bunch of blue blasts later, the troll lay on its side on the tunnel cave, snoring like a princess. Holly gasped in relief and got to her feet shakily, magic still occasionally sparking across her limbs as it tried to amend random cuts at the last minute.
Once the threat was stabilized, the other fairies were on to her immediately, checking to see if she was still alive. "Holly, are you okay?" they asked her worriedly.
"I'm fine," Holly nearly snapped out of spite, remembering her earlier conversation with Root. She gritted her teeth. "Seriously, I'm—"
That was when a swear toad jumped out of nowhere and swore D'Arvit before jumping up and latching onto Holly's bottom.
"Today just isn't my day," she decided after the emergency healing/removal.
So anyway, check out my other 'embarrassing moment' oneshots (I have Artemis's and Mulch's.)
Review! And peace!