"He's not dead."
Those were the first words out of Ponyboy Curtis's mouth, when Sodapop Curtis, his brother, confronted him.
"Darry is not dead."
Soda looked at him with those tired eyes. "Pony…"
"He is not dead."
Pony backed away from his brother's out-stretched arms. Then he turned and bolted. "He's not, he's not, he's not…"
Broken sobs racked his body, as he collapsed to the ground. "No, not Darry, not Darry, not Darry…"
It wasn't true. Darry was alive. He was. He had to be.
But deep inside Pony's heart, he knew that his brother was gone. He'd never see those green-blue eyes again, the ones that he once had thought were like ice. That was when he had been stupid and foolish. Now, he'd do anything to see them again. But he'd never see that large, muscular frame, or the short dark hair, and… He'd never see Darry again.
It was unbelievable. One minute Darry had been carrying a stack of shingles to put on the roof. He always tried to carry two. Stupid Darry. He always tried so hard… he always tried to carry more than one bundle.
It had destroyed him.
One minute he was walking—the next, he collapsed under the weight. They came down on him—came down on his head—and Darry was dead.
No he wasn't. He's not dead, he's not dead, he's not dead.
He's not dead.
But he was.
xxx
The shovel. The dirt. Soda had never done something so hard. With every scoop of dirt, he buried his brother.
His brother wasn't dead. Darry would never die.
But Pony already had.
His eyes were dead—those eyes usually full of life and warmth, the grey-green eyes—his face was a frozen expression of pain.
Soda was dead too.
He was broken. He was always a shoulder for everyone. Someone to hold on to, to make things better.
And now, he needed someone to lean on.
But there was no one.
Two-Bit came up to Soda. "I'm so sorry," he said, his eyes red. Soda just nodded numbly. Two-Bit continued over to Pony. "Pony…" he started.
Pony backed away.
Steve went up to Soda, and sobbing, hugged him. "It's going to be ok, Soda, it's going to be ok…" His voice was hoarse and broken.
Soda dropped the shovel. He ran, ignoring the calls of Steve and Two-Bit and Mrs. Matthews.
They weren't there.
No one was.
Darry…
xxx
Soda sat up and looked around. Where was he? He saw Pony, sleeping, moaning softly.
He was home.
Pony was sweating, and suddenly, he started screaming.
He was having one of those dreams again.
Soda sat, watching his brother scream, and then realization his him.
"Pony, wake up!" he yelled, shaking his brother.
Pony woke up, tears leaking from his eyes. "Soda, Soda, Soda… he's not… he's not… Darry's not…"
Soda felt tears sting at his eyes. "Yes… he's gone."
Pony sobbed hysterically into Soda's chest. "Why, Soda why? Why? Why did he have to leave… why? He worked so hard… he tried so hard… why did he deserve this? All those times I yelled at him… All those times… if I could just take it back again for one more day…"
Soda grabbed onto his brother. They cried desperately… and then, they stopped.
"We're not going to cry anymore Soda, are we?" Pony asked his brother.
"No… we're not. Not anymore."
xxx
Pony watched as a car came up and parked in front of their house.
They're taking us away, he thought. Darry can't take care of us anymore.
He couldn't pretend the way he had with Johnny. Darry's death was impacted him so much more. Darry didn't die. Darry didn't die.
But deep inside, he knew that Darry was gone.
And he and Soda were never going to come home again… never going to see Darry again…
The lady came out of the car and walked up to the porch. She knocked on the door.
Pony turned away. He didn't want to open it, didn't want to let it happen. He didn't want it… didn't need it… didn't want the confirmation.
Soda brushed by him and opened the door. Soda, whose eyes were red and puffy, who had cried more than Pony had.
"Yes?" he asked, his voice hoarse with grief.
The lady walked in. She was short, but business-like. She had on a black skirt that Pony would always remember. The black-skirt lady that destroyed him.
"You are Ponyboy and Sodapop Curtis, right?" she asked.
"Yes," Soda answered, while Pony nodded numbly.
"I've come to take you to a foster home," she said snappily. "I need you two to pack your possessions, and we need to go."
"You're taking us to a boy's home?" Pony asked, his voice shaking.
"Yes," answered the lady.
"I'm not going," Pony said flatly.
"Pony, stop it," said Soda wearily. "I'm sorry," he apologized to the lady.
The lady sniffed disapprovingly. The Curtis boys got there items, and packed them. They were never coming home...
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