Theta was more than a little nervous. And embarrassed because of it.

Despite his mother's reassurance that his anxiety was perfectly natural, many young Gallifreyans grew nervous before the initiation ceremony, and quite right, too, looking into the Untempered Schism was a serious matter - he didn't want to be scared. He wanted to be brave, and look cool. He wanted to prove that he wasn't a freak, that despite the little bit of human in his genetics he was a true Gallifreyan, standing tall and confident, and that he could handle the initiation process into the Academy like everyone else.

Cousin Qwences, despite his stuffiness, had gone to all this trouble to request his education at the Academy, and Cousin Innocet had always been so kind to him. The last thing that Theta wanted was to let his cousins down.

He tried to walk solemnly like all the surrounding adult Time Lords, but he kept tripping over his slightly-too-long robes. He blushed and thanked whatever gods might be listening that the ceremony was private. Theta felt less cool and Gallifreyan with each passing minute. He scoffed to himself internally; as if he needed a reason to feel less cool and Gallifreyan. He got plenty of harassment from his cousins, what with all the bullying and name calling. ("Snail" he could handle with some modicum of dignity, but "Wormhole" was downright cruel. It's not like he asked to have a belly button!)

And if he failed this initiation, it would only provide more basis for ostracism. Theta wasn't entirely sure he could handle that.

Best not to dwell on that now, he told himself. They were approaching the Untempered Schism.

It was as impressive as he imagined. Surrounded by torches, he could see a glimpse of the Vortex through a large metal ring, the Seal of Rassilon flickering below in the firelight. In all honesty, this was as close as he wanted to get to it. Something about the tear in reality seemed fundamentally… wrong, to him. It wasn't something he could name, rather, it was a feeling, deep down in his bones and on the back of his neck. A pit of anxiety settled deep in-between his hearts, and refused to leave. Theta stopped in his tracks. Something in his mind was telling him to turn around and run, run as fast and as far away as he could, to get away from the pull of the Vortex…

A senior Time Lord urged him forwards with almost too forceful a nudge. His feet got tangled up in his robes, he stumble forward and suddenly, he was right in front of the structure, peering through the gap in reality and gazing into eternity.

It isn't at all what you thought it would be.

You see a field, a big, open, empty, glorious field, like the one running next to the Cadonflood River at your home of Lungbarrow, only, there's no water in sight. It stretches as far as you can see, and further still, all rippling gold and blue and red and some other color you can't identify. If you squint,you can barely make out a mountain range, farther off than you could ever walk. Your feet are bare, and you can feel the grass, soft and tall and lapping at your torso. Oh, it was beautiful. Your entire world has just become one field, and you feel only one urge: the urge to run. You want to take to your feet and fly across the skin of the world, pushing the boundaries of the horizon further than they could go. You know, suddenly, that that is what you wanted to do with your life. You want to push the line of the horizon back. All your life you have lived in the Southern Mountains, and you have never wondered what might lay on the other side of the hill. Until now. Now, you want to know. What is there, past the edge of sight? What wonders does the universe hold for you? You want to find out. The other side of the mountain is calling to you. Too far to walk? Then you'll run there. You want to run. From what, to where, it doesn't matter. All that matters to you is the grass and the wind and a whole universe of possibility.

You look up and see the sky of Gallifrey, burnt orange subdued and two suns hidden by impending storm clouds. You look down, around and back, but you can't see anyone else… you are alone. There is an - ache in your mind that you are suddenly aware of. There's something you are missing, something important, but you just can't - figure - it - out. You try to stretch out with your mind for Cousin Qwence -

Oh.

The presences of your mother and father, your cousins, and other Gallifreyans… that's what you're missing. Your connection to your people. You have never felt more alone than at this moment. The emptiness in your mind screams at you.

You are alone.

Just

you

alone

forever

In a panic, you look back up. The sky is still burnt - no… not burnt. Burning.

Something's coming.

You look ahead and see a fire racing towards you. It rushes across the field, eating up everything, leaving ash and death in its wake. You know that it's going to get you. But with your eyes full of color, your nose full of smoke, your hearts full of fear, but your mind empty of contact, you do the only thing that you can.

You turn on your heel and run for your life.

Theta ran.

Never mind that he barreled over one of the senior Time Lords in his haste to get away, or that he kept tripping over his robe before eventually ripping the stupid thing off and running just in a tunic and leggings, or that he could hear the Time Lords ordering his return. It didn't even register that he could feel the Time Lords in his mind again. He just wanted - no, needed to run away.

He ran from the fire that burned at his memory, from the foreboding storm clouds, from the deafening silence.

And he didn't stop.