Hello! I'm POIphantomgirl a new writer on fanfiction. I love John and Joss and still miss Detective Carter. As part of my self-appointed therapy to get over her death I wrote this one-shot back in March. I hope someone enjoys it! And of course I don't own any of these characters.
Darkness encircled her, pulling her deeper into the world of unconsciousness. Breathing became harder and such a difficult task. Yet even amidst the darkness a voice still rang in her ears calling her attention. Keeping her from stepping completely into the rest of the unknown.
"Joss. Stay with me. Stay with me."
Was the voice Taylor's? No. That was not her baby's voice.
"Please. Joss don't leave me. God please!"
The desperation in the voice steadily alerted her. The pleas were so filled with anguish, that the loving mother and compassionate, caring woman within her would not permit her to ignore it.
"Jocelyn! Don't die on me. Please. Stay. With. Me!"
John! John's voice was the one calling to her now. Joss's memory came back with vengeance. John standing before her in the dark alley. Simmons appearing. Gunfire. John going down from a bullet. With every ounce of fight within her, Joss threw her eyes open. Immediately being blinded by bright lights.
"John!" she yelled out on winded breath trying to sit up, unsure where she was. Her body did not feel like her own. "John! John!" she yelled again.
Suddenly a familiar face entered her line of vision. "Finch. Are you okay?" she asked still panting, breathing hard. "You were there. Did he hurt you?"
Unsure if Detective Carter was referring to what he thought he nonetheless angered. "Yes. I am." Trying to calm her he gently laid a hand on her arm. She had been unconscious for days and suddenly she was awake and now clearly overexcited. "Detective. Listen to me."
But Joss would not be calmed. "John! Where's John? Simmons-" she gasped, "shot him. Where's John?"
Much to Finch's relief at that moment John burst through the door. He had only left for a few minutes after spending days at Carter's side. But when Finch has alerted him that she was awake he came running straight back ignoring the pain he felt from his still healing injury.
"John! John!" Joss still called.
Tears sprung ot John's eyes at the sound of her broken and dry voice crying out for him. Finch was at a loss for what to do. Quickly John crossed the room, standing on the other side of her bed. He leaned over hoping to draw her attention. "Joss."
"John," she said as if she had not heard him. She looked around frantically, and the wild searching of her eyes reminded him of the night she had been shot. He couldn't take much more of it.
With his large hands he reached up and held her face, directing her to look at him. "Joss. Joss." he said calmly. Finally, her gaze rested on him.
"John." she said with such relief that John had to close his eyes for a moment. "Are you okay? Simmons shot you. I-I tried. I didn't see-it was too late-"
John was shaking his head cutting off her guilt filled explanations. "No Joss. I'm fine. I'm fine."
She swallowed, tears filling her eyes. "I'm sorry."
"No. I'm sorry. I didn't protect you."
Finch watched the two people before him in silent awe. He was amazed they were so similar. In their own pain and suffering they put others above themselves. Harold remembered that terrible night when Simmons had appeared shooting down the both of them. When John saw Joss on the ground he ignored his own wound in order to crawl over to Jocelyn and hold onto her. In that moment she was his only concern. Now here was Jocelyn waking up after spending days in a coma and the only person she was worried about was John Reese.
Finch had heard John refer to Jocelyn as the girl after his own heart, but now Finch finally saw the truth in that statement. Jocelyn was john's perfect fit. They belonged together. If anything good came out of this horror of an experience, Finch hoped it would be that the two people before him would end up together.
Detective Carter's raspy voice reached his ears and he quickly filled a cup with water handing it to John. Jon took the cup, raising it to Joss's dry mouth. "Drink this."
Before she could refuse, and she was going to, John placed the brim of the cup against her lips and slowly tilted it. She reluctantly swallowed. John gently cupped the back of her head as he continued to slip the water into her mouth. At last her thirst was awakened and she hungrily drank. John moved the cup away. "Take it easy," he soothed.
Her head rolled back against the pillow. The simple task exhausting her. John leaned away to set the cup down, while Joss mistook his action to mean something else. "Don't go." Joss pleaded. A corner of John's mouth lifted. She had no idea. Gently he sat on the edge of the bed holding the sides of her face. He relished in the feel of her skin beneath his finger tips. "I'm not going anywhere."
She sighed, content, her eyes settling on him. In the look she gave him she displayed so much trust and concern that for once John had difficulty holding her gaze. But he refused to turn away. She was awake and he was going to enjoy every minute of this.
Slowly Joss's eyes began to droop and John knew the moment when she was fighting sleep. Every time he thought she was going to drift off her eyes would pop open and her gaze would refocus on him. As if she did not want to lose sight of him for one minute. But then at last she lost the fight and her eyes slipped closed. John couldn't help, but smile. Bending over he lightly kissed her temple.
"Sleep well detective. You're gonna need it." John whispered to keep tears from slipping out his eyes. Thank God this woman was alive.
As John hovered over her he knew in that moment that that Jocelyn Carter owned him. He couldn't live without this woman. She was his perfect fit and she held his heart. Whether she would ever realize it or not, this woman would either make him or break him. She had only to call and he would be there. And he was going to fight for her. The one thing he was going to do for himself was fight for her. He gave up Jessica, convinced he was doing the right thing. He was not going to give up Joss.
Lightly he stroked her cheek, watching her chest rise and fall. Thanking God for every breath she took.
No. He wasn't going to give up Joss.