Music Isn't Talking
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Digimon. If I did, it'd probably be a lot different. ;)
Characters: Matt & TK
Words: 1, 697
Author's Notes: well, with me being who I am, I am completely incapable of watching Digimon and not writing something Matt & TK related. Their relationship has always intrigued and Matt is so, so interesting as a character. And so, I wrote this. It's just a little brotherly-piece. Hope you like. :)
()~~~~~()~~~~~()~~~~~()
Three months.
Three months Matt and his band had been touring. They'd really made the most of their summer as well as utilising every school night they could possibly squeeze in without failing. Performing day in and day out had been nothing but exhausting, but never would Matt lie and say he had regretted it; because he hadn't. The exhilaration of being on stage couldn't possibly be matched by anything and he wouldn't even hazard to try. Some things were just fact.
Other things were fact too. Like the fact that when touring, family seemed to become one of the last things on his mind.
In all honesty, Matt wouldn't have minded so much…except for the little point that TK was part of his family. And TK was someone he could never disappoint, someone he could never be without.
That was why, when finally trekking up the stairs to his and his dad's apartment, Matt felt slightly guilty, knowing he hadn't called TK from the moment he'd jumped into his mate's van all those weeks ago.
But still, TK was a big boy now. He didn't need Matt around, he'd shown him that years ago.
At least, that's what Matt kept telling himself. It made the pain lessen, even if only for a fraction of a second. And who was Matt kidding? TK wasn't the lone wolf that he was; his little brother had plenty of friends. In fact, he'd probably hardly even noticed his absence.
Sliding his key into the lock, Matt swung open the door with every intention of shouting a "I'm home!". That action got put on hold when he heard something he never expected to hear, especially not in this house, especially when he wasn't home:
The sound of someone playing guitar.
No one besides him in his family even played guitar. Sure, TK had bargained his old one off of him in a simple coin toss – how his brother always managed to win those was beyond him – but he'd never played the instrument. It had just been placed on a stand in the corner of his room because it apparently looked cool. He hadn't had the energy to argue.
Confused by the sudden strangeness he was hearing, Matt decided to forego his planned greeting and instead quietly deposited all his gear on the floor, slipping his shoes off before padding down the narrow hall. He'd reached the corner of the hall and was preparing to enter the main room when a quiet voice joined the melodious sound.
They sung too?
"I had a brother who made me cry
He said, 'stay away from my kind'
I said I appreciated his honesty
And then he stayed away for awhile"
That voice…it sounded like…
Rounding the corner, Matt was incapable of preventing his eyes from widening. TK? Since when did his baby brother have any sort of musical ability at all? He'd never even expressed any interest in the subject! The furthest he'd ever gotten was asking Matt to play the harmonica for him! To be standing where he was right now, seeing his brother sitting on the couch with a guitar situated across his lap as though it belonged there, Matt could only think one thought: 'how much have I missed?' Was this guitar playing a summer thing? Or, perhaps had TK been doing it for awhile now and he'd just missed it?
Seemingly effortlessly, TK's fingers moved to the next chord he wanted, eyes shut as he let his fingers do the talking. He didn't need to see the pain he was reliving.
"Then I cried and he laughed on the telephone
And I wish we'd talked for hours"
If the first verse hadn't done enough damage once it had registered, the next line had. The lyrics had found Matt frozen in place, staring at his brother as if he hadn't seen him before. Maybe he hadn't. Was this really what TK felt? Did he really feel as though he was being left alone all the time? That he, Matt, was constantly deserting him? And if so, had it really done enough damage to make him cry?
A part of Matt found him desperately hoping not.
But a bigger part knew the truth. His brother always had been a little on the emotional side. He hadn't been called a cry-baby for nothing after all. And it pained him to think that he'd made TK cry yet again. He really had to stop doing that.
"He says he wants to be rockstar and that's fine
It just means it never works"
'No, little brother, no. It does work, I promise you.'
"And when the wind blows east from the sea
On these March nights I think of him
Of the brother who showed me how to live
Showed me how to trust and I gave in"
The music would have been hauntingly beautiful, if not for the more pressing concern: that it was absolutely horrifying. There was a lump in Matt's throat that wouldn't go away and, really, he didn't know if he wanted it to. After all, it went so well with his pricking eyes.
Glancing up and focusing, Matt couldn't say he was surprised to see TK looking much the way he imagined he did. The teen's fingers were trembling slightly and there was that oh so subtle shake of the shoulders that could turn into full on violent shudders if TK allowed himself to give in to his emotions. The faintest glisten was visible on his cheeks and it was that that had Matt's own tears falling. How could he not cry for his little brother when he was crying for him? Crying out to him?
"And our bond it was so strong but we were so young
So I guess I must have been a little bit naïve"
"No."
That did it.
TK's head whipped up in shock, not even aware of the fact that there was another presence in the room. He barely had time to register the sandy blond hair before he was ripped into a hug, his guitar sent plummeting to floor. It said volumes when Matt didn't so much as spare it a glance, his only reaction to be holding his brother even tighter.
"Matt…" TK managed to breathe once his shock had worn off.
"Of course it's me," came the choked response. "Who else were you expecting? Tai?"
"…wouldn't be the first time."
The bitter mumble left TK's lips before he fully realised what he was saying. The next thing he knew, he was being shoved back onto the couch and Matt was on his feet, back to him and fists shaking by his side.
"Matt, no!" TK cried, scrambling into a sitting position. "I didn't mean it like that, I promise. I would never replace you with Tai and you're my brother. I'd never want anyone to be my brother but you!"
"Why are you such an idiot?"
The yell startled him terribly and his eyes widened, head cocking slightly to one side as he met his brother's fiery gaze. "Why am I the idiot? What did I do?"
"You didn't tell me!"
"Didn't tell you what?"
"God TK!" Matt ran his hands through his hair, effectively dishevelling it. He angrily pointed at the guitar lying on the ground. "Why didn't you tell me how you felt? Why didn't you…" his voice dropped down to a hoarse whisper. "Why didn't you tell me that I was hurting you? That I was pushing you away? Again."
There was a long moment of silence in which Matt stared straight at the floor and TK dutifully stared at his knees.
"I just…" TK's voice was timid when it next decided to voice itself. "You didn't seem to need me anymore," he offered. "You had your band, and your fans, and…you stopped coming to hang out with me so I…I figured you'd just outgrown me." He hugged his knees to his chest. "It's not like I didn't expect this to happen anyway. I'll never be as cool as you are and besides, you don't want me as your baby brother forever. I guess I thought you just wanted to go and live your own life."
Matt sighed, coming to drop down on the opposite edge of the couch. "No little bro. It wasn't anything like that."
TK's gaze was decidedly hopeful when it next met his. "Then what was it?"
"It's a long story," he warned before shrugging slightly. "For ages I used to think my purpose in life was to protect you bro. But even when you were a kid, back in the days of the Dark Masters, you showed me that you didn't need me anymore. I thought I was being strong so I backed off…Guess I backed off too much, huh?"
The look he got in return was painfully honest. "Is a phone call once a week really too much to ask?"
He sighed again, holding out an arm. "Come here." TK's face lit up in a smile and he gratefully slid into the embrace, content when Matt's arm wrapped around his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I don't like talking and you know that. That's why I don't call. But I guess," he relented seconds later, "That I can't always exactly come visit you either. Maybe that's when I should call you, no matter how much I dislike it."
TK hummed in agreement but Matt wasn't done.
"But there's one thing you should never have questioned," he scolded, the severity of the tone catching his brother completely off guard.
"And what's that?" the younger of the two asked hesitantly.
Matt sent him a gentle smile. "The fact that I love you. I'll always love you little bro, even if I'm not around to show it. I always have and I always will, you got that?" A nod. "Good, then I guess we're done talking about this. Now, hand me that tv remote. There's gotta be something worth watching on."
TK beamed, grabbing said remote and handing it to his brother before settling in more comfortably. Same old Matt. It was good to have him back.
()~~~~~()~~~~~()~~~~~()
A/N: so there you have it. A little angst and a little love. I had so many ways I wanted this to go so I kind of smooshed all of them together. Review if you'd like to. :)
DG777