Awaiting
By: Ziggy Pasta
Author's Note: This is dedicated to my friend Lady Gunblade/Mystic Hedwig. This was done as a part of a meme offer I did over on deviantART to where I offered the first five people who commented on my journal entry a free one-shot ficlet. I wasn't expecting such a response from my watchers, actually! It was a very humbling experience. Anyway, besides that, I am really happy to write this story for her, as she was incredible and put together a promo video on YouTube for my main and current FFVII story "Malady" not too long ago. So, with that said … let this be my way of saying thank you, and I hope you enjoy this, my friend!
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The rotors of the helicopters normally could be heard quite a distance away, but that was usually at night when the Shin-Ra compound was quiet and the traffic in Midgar was scarce. Today, however, through the shouting of the SOLDIER operatives and the scattered grunts coming from the army cadets who were training, the rhythmic beats of the blades were drowned out. It wasn't until the bird was hovering above the landing pads did anyone hear it, who was at least listening for them.
With each beat, the sound was rivaling the loud and excited chatter inside Cloud's mind. He was sure that that had to be Zack's helicopter; he managed to convince an embark bubba to inform him of Zack's itinerary. It was against regulations and a breech of security to release such information to anyone, but Cloud somehow got it out of him without so much of a bribe. Perhaps it was Cloud's determination – frustration – that fueled what little persuasive charisma that might have been lying dormant inside him. But he hadn't seen Zack in quite a while, and now not even protocol would stop him.
Quite a while … it had actually been an entire month. At first, it was the typical conflict of schedules. That was understandable. Cloud was but a simple cadet, while Zack was a 1st Class SOLDIER. It was to be expected, as it was like night and day in their world. It was like comparing the bumbling intern scientists, fresh out of school, to Professor Hojo himself. So to have any amount of casual free time that lined up together was slim. While Zack was relaxing at home doing nothing, Cloud was out in the elements of the plains around Midgar, doing everything from materia practice to simulated combat. And while Cloud had days where they were granted liberty, Zack was out fighting Genesis copies or unruly monsters in caverns and plains around the world. There was no casual free time to share, only tiny moments to see each other smile, even if it was across the crowded hallways of the building.
Then Zack was called out to a mission – an undisclosed and covert mission. Usually Zack would take time to send Cloud a quick text message during his missions just to keep a flowing contact. They were anything from lengthy and sometimes sappy messages, to just simple emotive happy faces – which Cloud didn't quite understand them at first – and each was enough to let Cloud know that everything was going okay. But he had been gone for two weeks now, and not one phone call or message had been sent. Cloud had even sought out Zack's friend Kunsel to see if he had heard from him, but he had not.
It was hard for Cloud to keep his spirits up, but it seemed as if fate was working against the two. Their relationship was so new … slowly strengthening in what little time they did have for each other. Any interaction they shared would be stored in their hearts, only brought out when times seemed rough and unforgiving. It was remembered, and it was cherished, used only to grace tiny smiles on their faces, or a giddy flip of their stomachs in remembrance. Perhaps it was that which was fueling Cloud's drive to see Zack.
Perhaps it was love.
Now, that fuel was still as strong, growing even stronger as Cloud could feel the wind from the blades of the helicopter as it landed. It hit his body with the scent of dust and oil, but it was a welcomed smell as it meant that Zack would be back finally. He could feel his heart beating in his chest, and he would have laughed at himself for feeling this way if he wasn't standing in formation with the other men from his infantry unit under the gaze of SOLDIER operatives. They were ordered to stand at attention as they walked down the line, inspecting their uniform, their stance, their weapons ….
None of it mattered now, as Cloud's eyes shifted to the side when he noticed that the rotors finally slowed to a stop. The voices of the SOLDIERs as they addressed the unit were far away in his mind, as the only thing he was focusing on was watching for that door to open and for Zack to step out. He would only hope that Zack would notice him – even if they all did look the same in uniform – and come over to watch the line. Even if he just stuck around for a few minutes with their eyes locked … even if that moment only lasted for exactly that – a moment, he would feel that it would be enough to hold him over until he saw him next.
At least, he hoped it would be enough.
That was when he finally saw him. Zack stepped out of the helicopter after a few people filed out before him, and even though he looked tired, maybe even exhausted, he still held an aura of jubilation that Cloud had never known anyone else to hold. It was so genuine and more than intoxicating. Sometimes Cloud felt that there was very little to smile about, but whenever he was around Zack, even when Zack was having a bad day, he still felt a presence of warmth and acceptance, that he couldn't help but feel … comfortable. Whether that was with Zack, or with himself, it didn't matter.
But Zack began to turn and head towards the main building, and Cloud suddenly felt as if what little patience he managed to keep for the past month was crumbling. Piece by piece, each optimistic thought that he had convinced himself to believe while they were apart was walking away with Zack. If he couldn't see him now, not even for that moment of eye contact he was hoping for, he didn't know how to even gain a shred of that optimism back.
He heard his name being called, and he suddenly felt a cool rush of air against his head and neck, then the sound of something hard hitting the ground behind him. Zack was getting closer to him, yet he was still walking away. It wasn't until he heard his full name being screamed at him in a tone that would probably make the toughest man cringe did he realize he threw his helmet off his head and began to run towards him. He had left the formation, he had left his post. And it wasn't just in front of a few people, it was in front of his entire unit, a number of SOLDIERs and members of other units out on the flight deck. People turned towards the shouting SOLDIERs, they turned towards the lone man running away as if there was a panic breaking loose.
He didn't once think about what he was doing, or what he was going to do. Nothing was registering in his mind except for his focus on catching up to Zack. He had thought about what he would do when he finally got some time with him, and whatever he pictured it was always modest and … conservative. A few shy knocks on Zack's door, perhaps Zack coming around to the barracks to pick him up – whatever their greeting would be, they would spend their time together behind Zack's door. It was away from prying eyes, it was away from any sort of ridicule or judgment they could possibly face with their peers. Pursuing such an open relationship would have unforeseen consequences that they could only begin to speculate and imagine.
Zack had seemed a little less cautious about matters, and had even snuck in a few quick pecks in the areas where he knew that cameras were scarce, but when it came down to any sort of display of their love out in the open, he was just as wary, but only out of respect for Cloud's wishes. And while they made love, Cloud couldn't help but stifle his cries of passion in fear of everything falling apart before them if someone were to hear them. No matter how many times Zack reassured him that nothing would happen if people were to find out about them, it was just a chance that Cloud was not willing to take, normally.
His name being called, his footsteps, perhaps he was calling out to Zack without realizing it through his excitement, whatever that was going on around him caused Zack to finally turn. Cloud could hear his own voice inside his head, screaming for Zack to look at him. In an instant, several scenarios played out for him, showing him every possible outcome to what he was doing. Their eyes would meet, smiles would play across their lips, their names would roll from their throats, interrupted only by their laughter. They would stop inches from colliding into each other's arms, just far enough for everyone to turn away uninterested when the moment was gone, but close enough for them to know that they were finally together again.
And he was looking for that instant, and maybe it didn't play out for him as exactly as he had hoped and imagined. When he finally reached Zack, their eyes never met, smiles had no time for their lips … Cloud's voice wouldn't work. The inches that he wanted to give them, to give his insecurities, unraveled as they collided into each other's arms. Everything he told himself that he couldn't do, he did.
Their hands found each other, their breath blended together in tandem; names were finally uttered. Close could never seem close enough, not even when the eye contact was made. But when their lips finally touched – caressed – and the feeling of being lost in each other once again finally hit them ….
Sounds of the other men around them shouting in either disgust or amusement … none of it could be heard over the sound of their hands sifting through each other's hair, or over the beating of their hearts as they kissed.
… It would be enough, just for them.
~*~*~ End ~*~*~
Ending Author's Note: Lady Gunblade's prompt was for me to write a scene where Cloud hasn't seen Zack in quite a while, and he ignores all company protocol and runs up to Zack when he sees him, kissing him in front of other people without caring. I sort of geared it more towards Cloud ignoring his own personal protocol (his insecurities) and finally disobeying himself for what he really wants. Sometimes, ignoring what's in our minds for what's in our hearts is just enough to make us happy. ;D
I originally wanted to write this fairly straightforward and physically descriptive more than emotionally descriptive, but with Cloud, he's just so inwardly animated with his own turmoil that I just … couldn't do it. His mind has too much to tell in my opinion. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed this, and especially you, Lady Gunblade/Hystic Hedwig! So much love for you, and for the readers!
~*~*~ Ziggy Pasta ~*~*~