CHAPTER 1
Whoo...hey everypony. I've finally been able to finish typing up and posting Chapter one of Volume 6. This story is FAR different than all of the other stories, and introduces a new element into Drake's life. What is it exactly, you'll just have to read to find out. If you're just now joining the story, you may want to go back to the beginning and start with volume one. If you don't you'll probably be lost otherwise. If you're too lazy to read five novels in one sitting, you should be able to enjoy this story anyway. So, without further ado, submitted for your approval, here is Volume 6 of the Drake Chronicles. Please review. Enjoy!
My day started as usual. At least until I drifted into consciousness. I woke up and rolled over, finding that my Dashie had already gotten up, as she usually did. I groaned a moment, and rolled to my other side, looking at the clock. My eyes shot fully open. The timepiece on the nightstand read 2:40pm. I knew I was a heavy sleeper, and it was normal for me to sleep until ten or eleven sometimes, but who had let me sleep until almost three in the afternoon?!
"The Hell?" I groaned. I rolled out of bed, and made my way across the large bedroom and turned the doorknob. The door wouldn't open. I turned the knob the other way and pushed harder, but the door seemed to be stuck. Mumbling swears and oaths under my breath, I rammed my shoulder into the door. I pulled back, and battered the door again, finally slinging it open. I was met immediately by the sound of a spring releasing, and half a dozen eggs splattered on my face. After a short moment of silent but intense raging, I stepped into the upstairs hallway, ready to ream somepony for the cruel prank.
"Daaaash!" I yelled. I glanced around suspiciously. "Buuuudder?" There was no answer. "Budder saber, front aaannnd center!" Nothing. "Hey! Dashie! Anypony home?" The house remained silent. Obviously, as I deduced, either my marefriend or my sister had set this boobytrap, but they had gone out when I failed to wake my carcass up at a reasonable time. Ugh...I'd take care of that when they got home. For now, I needed to take a shower.
I trotted down the hall to the bathroom, and turned on the shower, adjusting the water until it was nice and warm. Not hot...I hated hot showers. I stepped into the large, opulent bathtub that had come with the house, and pulled the shower curtain shut before starting the arduous task of scrubbing the goopy mess out of my mane. I dumped a very liberal amount of Mane and Tail Shampoo onto my head, and began lathering it up.
My eyes clamped shut against the shampoo, I was caught offguard for one of the very few times in my life. I didn't see the shadow cast onto the shower curtain, its hoof upraised ominously. With my attention fully diverted on getting clean, I was tragically unaware of the dark figure's presence in the room, or its ill intent until I was hit by a wall of scalding hot water that made me cry out. At the same moment, I heard the toilet flush, and the bathroom door slam.
"Oh damn ass jackhell...who the piss..." I screamed, making up profanities as I went, and stringing them together as my fury and consternation allowed. Now, I was beyond annoyed. Annoyed was two prairies ago. Somepony was about to get it. I washed the rest of the shampoo off and turned off the shower. Moments later, I was storming down the stairs in agonizing anger.
"Aaalllllright, Drake's for battle, and somepony's about to pay the pied piiiiAHHHH!" I cried out as I hit the marbles on the next-to-last step and fell in a heap on the floor. I was greeted by the sound of roaring laughter. I stood and watched Rainbow Dash and Budder, rolling on the floor, laughing so hard they could barely breathe.
"Dash?! Budder?! What...why?" I demanded.
"Hahaha...chillax sweetheart...heeheehee." Dashie laughed. "It's Pranksgiving Day!
"Ugghhh..." I groaned. Of course. Dashie was always one for practical jokes. Pranksgiving Day, of all the...
"You should have seen...heehee..." My sister laughed. "...theheehee the showeerrrr..." And my sister? Et tu, Budder?
"You guys..." I complained. "I was about to break somepony in half..."
"Oh you big wet blanket." Dash whined. She trotted over and nuzzled me. "You seriously gotta learn to take a joke." She smiled sweetly at me.
"Joke?" I asked incredulously.
"Well we thought it was pretty funny." Dash said with a grin.
"Mmm. Well, the egg thing was pretty good." I admitted. "Kinda sophisticated for a prank though."
"I thought that up, and Dash helped build it." Budder said proudly. "Took us forever to get it working right."
"Well you had all day to do it!" I replied. "I've never slept this late in my life."
"Whatever do you mean?" Dash asked innocently. I eyed her suspiciously as she bit her lip.
"It's three in the afternoon!" I exclaimed.
"Three? Bub, it's only like...eleven..." Budder stated.
"Eleven? But my clock said..." I looked back at Dash, who let out a long, high-pitched squeak, restraining her laughter. "Dashie..."
"Baaaahahahahahaha!" She burst out. "Gotcha!" I gave her a deadpan look until her laughter subsided.
"Know what would've made all this even funnier to me?" I asked.
"Whazzat?" Budder returned.
"If it had happened to somepony else." I said dryly. I grinned. "I'll get the two of you back...don't you worry about that." I said menacingly, my grin becoming an evil smirk.
"Now...I'm kinda scared." My sister whined, getting behind Rainbow Dash.
"Oh, you're right to be, angel." I said. "Know what they say about payback, right? It's a...well, that's not for little pony ears."
"Wh...what are you gonna do?" Budder asked.
"What I'm gon...OHOHOHOHO what I'm gonna do..." I said sadistically. "What IIIIII'm gonna doooo to you. It's...gonna...be...BAD!" They both jumped. I chuckled to myself, and continued. "You think what you two did was good? Well...heh...heh...heh...I'm gonna get you. The both of you soooo good...you'll never wanna play a prank on anypony ever again. THEN...I'm gonna take it even further...SO far, you'll not sleep for a whoooooole month!" Dash gulped loudly, and they were both shaking in fear.
"Then..." I continued. "And ONLY then...will the hammer forged in the infernal fire of what you've done to me fall upon you both, crushing you utterly against the ANVIL OF YOUR ETERNAL MISERY!" I was panting now, and I grinned madly. "But first...but FIRST" I stepped slowly toward my marefriend and my sister, and they both shrank back in fear. "But FIRST...I gotta get my morning coffee." I said normally, regaining my composure like nothing was wrong. They both gave me a confused look until I smiled triumphantly and said "Gotcha."
"Dude..." Dash panted. "Drake...that was..."
"Bubby..." Budder quaked. "You scared me to death there."
"That was SO AWESOME!" Dashie exclaimed. "I thought we were dead meat! Using your psychobabble stuff to prank us? Totally cool!"
"That's why you love me." I grinned. I trotted into the kitchen, and put on a pot of strong coffee as Dash and Budder joined me. "Sorry for spooking you angel." I said to my sister. "But you did have it coming."
"Yeeaahhhh..." She droned.
"Heh. Love you sis." I said.
"Love you too, bub." She replied, giving me a hug. There was a knock at the door.
"Dashie, could you get that?" I asked. "I don't feel like answering the door and getting a pie in the face or something."
"Heheh...paranoid?" My marefriend asked, walking to the door. A few moments later, I heard a familiar voice.
"Greetings, Rainbow Dash. Have you been well?" The voice of Princess Celestia said. Rainbow Dash immediately bowed.
"Yes, Princess Celestia, we've been really good lately, and having the most awesome adventures ever!"
"I am very happy to hear that. You've all been a big help to me, and all of Equestria." The princess stated.. Why was the princess at my house? This had to be either really good, or extremely bad.
"May I come in?" Celestia asked.
"Of course, your highness." Dashie answered, standing aside to allow the solar princess in. "Drakes right in here, having his morning coffee." With that, Princess Celestia stepped into our house, her radiant mane shimmering like the dawn.
"Lieutenant Drake, just the pony I wished to see." Celestia said with a warm smile.
What brings you all the way to Whinnyhawken, Your Majesty?" I asked curiously.
"I was going to send you a letter, Drake..." Celestia began. "But I was unsure how to phrase the situation in writing."
"A criminal case?" I queried, cocking my head to the side. It was unusual that any criminal case, no matter how strange, could be that impossible to describe.
"Not exactly." Celestia sighed. "This case...should you take it, is unlike anything you've ever worked on before. If anypony can figure it out, no matter what the truth of the matter may be, it is you."
"I appreciate your faith in me as always, Your Highness." I said. "But I still don'y understand why this case would be so strange." I thought to myself for a moment. "Please, princess...have a seat. I'll get myself a cup of coffee, and you can tell us everything."
"Thank you." Celestia smiled. She pulled out a chair with her magic, and sat down. I poured myself a nice, hot cup of caffeine-filled coffee, and trotted to the other side of the table, across from the princess, to my favorite chair.
"I've worked some...very odd cases, Your Majesty." I began, preparing to sit.
"Buuuuub..." Budder whispered loudly.
"Not now, sis." I commanded.
"As I said, I have complete faith in..." The princess was cut off by a loud trumpeting of flatulance as I sat down. I froze, mortified. Princess Celestia blushed, and I felt my own face grow hot. I reached underneath me, and pulled out a large pink whoopee cushion. I slowly turned my head and looked at my sister, who looked as terrified and embarrassed as I'm sure I did. In fact, out of all of the situations I'd been in, this felt like the most gut-wrenching...until I heard a feminine giggling. I looked to see the highest power in the land holding a hoof to her mouth and laughing lightly.
"Oh...I am sorry, lieutenant..." Celestia said. She giggled daintily. "Pranksgiving Day?"
"Eeyup." I groaned, tossing the pratfall aside. I sighed, and took a long drink of my well-deserved coffee.
"Now, I shall explain." The princess stated. "It appears that I have a problem...with a house."
"A house?" Dash asked, sitting at the table.
"A house." Celestia repeated. "It is an old house, built a century and a half ago by a very strange unicorn, who was part of a very strange mystical order."
"Sounds very strange." My sister said, sitting down at the table as well. Celestia giggled again.
"This is unmistakably your sister, Drake." The princess stated. Her smile then faded. "But back to the matter at hoof...much legend has built up around the large mansion. Many dark tales have been told, tales of ponies disappearing forever in the house, stories of dark magic and evil spirits...everypony thought it was all just fantasy until..."
"Yes?" I pressed.
"An entire construction crew, five ponies in fact...just vanished." Celestia explained. "They were sent to assess the structure for their firm, who was hired by the city. Nopony knows what happened to them."
"The local authorities?" I asked, hoping to piece together an idea of what happened.
"Because of the reputation of the house, and the disappearance of so many ponies, none of the local authorities will go near the mansion because of their fear.
"Mmhmm." I mused. "And where is this cursed old house, your majesty?"
"Not far from here, in fact." "It is on the other side of Manehattan, near the sea."
"Really?" I asked, now very interested. "If I may, princess, you kow that Manehattan has a very high incidence of crime."
"Yes, of course..." Celestia sighed.
"And this house, being near the waterfront, it would be very possible that this is a criminal case. You have a big abandoned house in a prime spot for criminal activity. Add a few urban legends scaring everypony away from the place, and voila...you have a smuggler's paradise."
"That is a very interesting theory, my dear Drake." Celestia remarked. "And if you are correct, it is a very comforting one." There was a moment of silence, and the princess spoke again. "Will you then investigate the house?"
"Hm...same arrangement as usual, your higheness?" I queried.
"Indeed. This being of the utmost importance to me, I will pay you 10,500 bits upon the conclusion of your investigation." I whistled at the number. Ten thousand, five hundred bits...with what we already had from our last big mission, that would be more than enough for us to eat very well for an entire year, and enough to build an extra room onto the house, should we want to.
"That's quite a lot of bits, your highness." I commented. "Just to go look at an old house."
"Yes, well...this is quite a problem, and I feel that the reward is well worth the work, Lieutenant Drake." She suddenly looked a bit uncomfortable. And it will perhaps...not be without extreme risks. I ask that you please be careful."
"All cases have their dangers." I shrugged.
"I will say it thusly then..." Celestia said gravely. "Please use every ounce of caution...I cannot spare you, lieutenant." I sighed and took another drink of my coffee.
"I will take Rainbow Dash and Budder with me then." I said. "They're always good for backup." I gave a small smile to my marefriend and my sister.
"Are you certain it is a wise decision to bring young Budder?" The princess inquired.
"She's been a huge help on quite a few cases." I replied. "I was under the belief that you were aware of her detecting abilities and her maturity..."
"I am indeed." Celestia answered. She looked at Budder with a warm smile. "And I am quite proud of her for all of the aid she has given you, as well as for her intelligence and her spirit." Budder grinned bashfully, and Celestia turned back to me. "I just feel a great measure of concern over this matter." She nodded. "But I leave it all to you. It is now in your capable hooves."
"Consider it done, Your Highness."
"Very well. I must return to Canterlot and to my royal duties. Please send me word of your progress." The princess walked to the door, and stopped. "And Drake?"
"Yes ma'am?"
"If you do find that there is dark magic involved, do not intervene. Alert me at once, and I shall take care of it myself. You will still receive your payment for your consultation, but...please, do not put your lives in danger."
"Oh...okay, Your Highness." I answered. With that, Celestia left, and we three sat in silence a moment.
"You okay Drake?" Dashie finally asked.
"Mmm...yeah, I'm alright...it's just strange...really strange, don't you think?"
"Yeah, a little." Dash agreed.
"Well...you guys in?"
"You know it!" Dash answered.
"Spooky old house?" Budder asked. She grinned. "Whatchu think?"
So the Drake family has a new case. And if this one sounds like it's gonna be a bit dark and mysterious, that's because I promise you it will! I'm sure all of the loyal Drake fans out there are gonna like this one. I'll try to have the next chapter up in a day or two. It's Drake and Budder time here, so as usual, don't expect me to get much writing done. So until next chapter, thanks for reading, everypony!