There are times when I hate you Tom Chandler.
Sasha was sat in the mess watching as the rest of the crew of the Nathan James went about their lunchtime business. Tom had just walked in and he was currently debating over what looked like a cheese salad plate and a ham sandwich.
Ham.
Sasha couldn't help the slight rise of the corner of her mouth when he selected the ham sandwich and added it to his tray as predicted.
Her mind flashed back to the moments, nearly 18 months ago, now when she had watched him walk off the ship, walk away from his duties, walk away from her. She had experienced a rollercoaster of emotions since that day and now here he was again, back on the Nathan James and back in her life.
Her mind drifted to Fletcher and the nights she had spent with him in his cabin. He had been kind and thoughtful, attentive and caring. She had genuinely felt a deep affection for him but their relationship had lacked the fire and passion she and Tom had once shared. Tom being back on the ship had only reconfirmed that which she already knew; the fireworks that erupted in her belly every time he was close helped her too. She thought about how Fletcher had betrayed her and despite him sacrificing himself to warn them of Vellek's plan, did that make up for all the pain, chaos and even murder he had caused on board?
Probably not.
She realised Tom has betrayed her too in a manner of sorts when he abandoned his crew and their mission in search of his own peace. Her heart knew that had been selfish of him even in the calm that followed the storm but her heart remembered all the sacrifices he had made since the virus began to spread all those years ago and she ached for him and understood his need for a break.
Maybe not an eighteen month break but a break none the less.
"Earth to Sasha!"
She started, eyes focusing back in reality where a hand was waving in her face.
"Mind if I join you?" he asked, ever the gentleman.
"Of course," she gestured to the empty seat opposite her.
She watched him sit, take a mouthful of the sandwich she had seen him choose and open a bottle of water he must have acquired while she had been daydreaming.
"You enjoy your little trip away there?" he asked in between bites, a smile playing on his lips.
"There were moments," she echoed his own words back at him.
"Sounds nice," he played along.
Her mouth did that twisty thing at the corner again, completely against her will.
There are times when I really, really hate you Tom Chandler.