Disclaimer: Torchwood does not belong to me, neither do the lyrics to Don't Stop Me Now. They belong to their respective owners.

This is just a little something I wrote for Freddie For A Day/Freddie Mercury's 65th Birthday, yesterday. I really miss writing old school Torchwood like this and this just came out in about an hour as I was listening to some Queen. Hope you all enjoy this as much as I did enjoy writing it. I should also point out that I know John Barrowman is an amazingly talented singer and what I've written here is just for humours sake. :P

And lastly - Happy 65th Brithday, Mr. Mercury - you're still in all our hearts. xx

Freddie For A Day

It was nearly 9AM, and the team at Torchwood had spent the last half hour speculating where their "fearless leader" was. Owen was positive Jack was out shagging someone (or something). For obvious reasons Ianto disagreed and therefore was worried Jack had been killed... again.

Tosh and Gwen both seemed to be of the opinion that Jack was out on a Weevil hunt, or something similar.

"He's not on a Weevil hunt," Ianto said, flatly. "I'm usually with him when he's Weevil hunting."

Owen rolled his eyes. "Not 'Weevil Hunting', Ianto," he said, hooking his fingers into sarcastic quotation marks. "They mean actual hunting of Weevils."

Ianto stared, somewhat condescendingly at the medic. "That's what I meant, too. The actually hunting of Weevils."

"You're seriously telling me that 'Weevil Hunting' isn't code for you two shagging?"

"Uh, no," said Ianto, glancing around at Tosh and Gwen who both hurriedly turned away. "All of you? You all thought 'Weevil Hunting' was code for Jack and I getting it on?"

Gwen opened her mouth to say something (probably highly insensitive and falsely sympathetic), but was interrupted as the sirens sounded and the huge cog-door opened. They stood as one and looked over.

Jack Harkness positively twirled into the Hub. His great coat swirled around him quite spectacularly. When the sirens died down, they realised he was singing.

"Tonight, I'm gonna have mysellllf a real good time, Iiii feel a-a-a-alive! And the wooorld it's turning inside out, yeah, I'm floating around in ecstasy, so... Don't. Stop. Me. Noooow!" He mimed playing a piano. "Don't. Stop. Me. Cause I'm having a good time, having a good time. I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky," Jack leaped across the room. "Like a tiger, defying the laws of gravitttyy."

As Jack continued to sing and dance across the room, Ianto, Gwen, Owen and Tosh all stared, open-mouthed.

"What's got into him?" Tosh asked.

"I don't know," Ianto replied.

"Is this normal?" said Gwen.

"Define 'normal' for Jack." Owen said.

"I don't know," Ianto said again. "But what on earth is that on his top lip?"

"Has he... has he grown a moustache?" Gwen asked.

"Dear God," muttered Owen. "Jack is finally the creepy perv, we've always known he is."

"Jack!" Ianto called out, promptly ignoring Owen.

"Morning, children," Jack finally stopped his singing and grinned devilishly up at them.

"Jack, what on earth are..."

"What's wrong with my singing?"

"Where do I start?" Owen muttered.

"No, I meant what's with the moustache?" Ianto clarified.

"It's my Freddie Moustache," Jack said.

"Sorry?" Owen said, tore between disgust and amusement.

"My Freddie Moustache," repeated Jack. He looked around at his team's blank faces. "Freddie. Freddie Mercury. Lead singer of the band Queen."

"Oh," said Gwen, Ianto, Owen and Tosh in unison as comprehension dawned on them. "Freddie."

"But why today?" Tosh asked curiously.

"It's Freddie's birthday today," Jack told them. "He would have been 65 today. And still looking good, I'd wager." He grinned.

There was a pause of complete and utter silence. "Oh, you're not saying that you and Freddie Mercury..." Owen began.

Jack waggled his eyebrows, but said nothing. He didn't need to. The Hub had already filled with the sounds of his team groaning in disgust and exasperation.

"Well, it was the 80's," Jack said.

"You say it as though it's an excuse," said Owen.

There was another pause.

"Actually Owen, that's a pretty good excuse," Gwen said.

"Yeah, Fair point."

"Like I needed an excuse anyway," Jack proclaimed. "It was Freddie Mercury. The only known man who was able to successfully pull off wearing a moustache and a hairy chest."

"At least you've got that right," said Ianto. "That moustache isn't really doing anything for you." Jack pouted, but Ianto just rolled his eyes.

"Well, I think it's nice someone's honouring him," Tosh said with a smile. "I wouldn't have remembered or realised if it weren't for Jack."

Gwen nodded in agreement, "I used to love Queen when I was younger," she said, tilting her head as she reminisced.

"I think everyone did," said Tosh. Owen and Ianto smiled in unison as they realised the women were right.

Jack was grinning widely now. "So you're not going to mind if I play Queen all day?"

"As long as you don't dance and sing along," Ianto warned.

"Yeah, Harkness," Owen said. "We want to appreciate Freddie Mercury's vocals, not your own, pathetic-"

"You know throttling the staff is still my job around here," Jack said, pointing a finger at the medic.

Owen rolled his eyes, but leapt away in panic as Jack made towards him. Jack laughed as, raising two fingers in an obviously offensive manner, Owen retreated to his work bench. It wasn't long before Tosh and Gwen were giggling and Ianto was grinning way too widely.

Without waiting for further comment, Jack gave another twirl and began singing Bohemian Rhapsody. "This one's for you, Freddie," he thought as he sang. "Happy birthday."