Wet Lang Syne

Matthew sipped awesomely at his drink and stood wet behind a Canada. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel dicklicious and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how greasy his nipple got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Matthew knew very well why he was at the party: to see Gilbert.

Ah, Gilbert. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his hot penis made Matthew's heart beat like 2 men giving each other anal sex that made rainbows shine out of the penis instead of cum.

But tonight everyone was masked. Matthew peered penisly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Gilbert. There, he thought, the man over by the sloppy sex addicted sausage, the sextastic one with the bird mask. It had to be Gilbert. No one else could look so finger-lickin' good, even in a bird mask.

He began to walk Matthew's way and Matthew started to panic. What if he actually talked to Matthew?

Gilbert came right up to Matthew and Matthew thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Gilbert said angrily. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the polar bear," Matthew said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so awesome.

Just then, a syrupy voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Matthew's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Gilbert might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Gilbert swept Matthew into his arms, bent him on the shell of a small turtle, and kissed Matthew farttastically, slipping him the tongue and groping his bum.

Matthew could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out sexily and pulled Gilbert's mask off his face. It was Gilbert! "I knew it was you," Matthew said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Gilbert said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Matthew watched him go. He would be right back, Matthew was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.