So Skin Deep gave me lots of feelings. This is a lot of them rolled into one. Especially after I read a couple people saying they thought of Belle's actions as 'selfish'. Since I thoroughly disagree I thought I'd write my interpretation of Belle's feelings for our favorite 'beast'.

Enjoy.

When the Dark One – more commonly known as Rumpelstiltskin – had named her as the sole price for his protection of her entire village Belle didn't hesitate. It wasn't going to be nice, or easy and there was no sense fooling herself otherwise. But she wasn't going to let her entire village suffer because she was weak willed.

This was her chance to be brave. Brave like she'd always dreamed.

So brave she would be.

Within weeks the bravery was no longer necessary. For all the stories Belle had heard of this Dark One – all of which were very much true – Rumpelstiltskin was not cruel to her in any sense. In fact, it was a rare day indeed when he spoke a word at all to her, save for the occasional quip. Quips that Belle soon found genuinely amusing, despite their tendency to be on the more morbid side. She didn't know why she found this darkly quirky humor catching but she did. Perhaps it was the fact that this man could joke. It made him seem more approachable – if only by the slightest bit.

And the more approachable he became the more she did approach him. Question him. Study him like a diagram or drawing in one of the many books she had at her old home. By the end of her first month she was beginning to think of theories. On what he was, truly. On why he cared so much for deals and technicalities. And, most importantly, on the pain that transformed his face when he thought she was concentrating on pouring tea, or reading during one of her lulls in chores. Lulls that were fairly frequent as the weeks passed – it hadn't taken long to initially clean the castle, and after it only required period maintenance.

It intrigued her, in a heartbreaking sort of way, to know that he had a tragedy somewhere in his life. She wanted him to tell her about it, but what would telling do? There was nothing she could do to change what fate had befallen him. The more she thought about that the more upsetting it became.

For as the months piled on one another, Belle came to admit that she liked Rumpelstiltskin. In their own strange way they had become something more of companions. She wasn't afraid to talk to him and he began to thaw past one syllable answers, revealing a surprisingly gentle and humorous personality beneath all the pain and darkness that trapped him.

It was when he asked her why she came, some four months into their association, that Belle recalled her heroic wishes. As she trimmed her new rose – and what an enchanting surprise that was –, she recalled her thoughts the day he'd arrived, silently mulling over whether they were still true. She had saved her village, given up her chance to travel the world. That was heroics, was it not? The look of wonder bordering on admiration that he gave her certainly made it seem like her captor thought so.

However, watching him, and seeing the warmth of a man in a face he felt was monstrous made Belle feel rather useless. He deserved to be free from what pained him, he deserved so much more than she could give him.

And then, just to make her feel more conflicted Rumplestiltskin then let her go.

Oh, no. I expect I'll never see you again.

Belle walked quickly, head and heart in turmoil. She wasn't even sure where she was going. To town. To get him straw. But why, if she never planned to return to him? She didn't plan to return to him. Did she?

Curiosity warred with desire to be free. Desire to be free warred with desire… oh, desire to be in his company again. For all her technically being a prisoner, those past few weeks she had felt happy. Certainly happier than she had been in her old palace with an arranged marriage and no one who understood her. And Rumpelstiltskin did seem to understand her… if nothing else he actually made the attempt to try.

She'd told him she wanted to see the world, and he set her free to do just that. She wanted to be glad – oh, she was glad –, but she couldn't begin to plan her travels in her mind, thinking only of him, alone once more. And his son, the one he'd lost. There was nothing she could do about that, of course, but she felt that his telling would help him, even if only a little bit. Having someone, having her, had helped him. And if she never returned she'd never hear how he lost his son, or how deep his tragic story went.

So when the woman with her black hair and black clothing pulled up in her black carriage, far too outspoken and rather rude, it had only taken a few short words before Belle's thoughts on her rudeness and her theories of her relationship with Rumpelstiltskin were pushed far out of her head.

Sounds like a curse to me, and all curses can be broken. A kiss born of true love would do it.

A kiss? True love? Truth be told, there had been many a time when she'd meet his eyes or laugh at one of his ridiculous comments, usually meant to distract her, and think about how easily she could love a man like him. With his humor and the subtle affection in his eyes that grew less subtle by the day when they caught and held her gaze.

She knew full well what he was but she now also knew who he had been and who he could be and she found herself realizing with that strange woman's words that she did very much love that man.

And a kiss? A kiss would be enough? He'd be a man again?

An ordinary man.

She'd do it. Oh, of course she would. He would be free, free from this curse, this pain that constantly plagued him. He wouldn't need to cover up his mirrors or call himself a monster. He could have an ordinary life. He could have happiness. He could have her, and she him.

She bid the woman a much warmer goodbye than she probably deserved and continued her walk to town with something of a skip in her step. She wanted to be back as soon as she could. She had something she needed to do.

She wanted to be a hero – and what was more heroic than saving the man she loved?

She admitted to some nerves upon returning to the castle. The woman had made it clear that it was true love's kiss that would break this spell. Were her feelings towards Rumpelstiltskin enough for it to work? Were his feelings towards her enough?

If he loves you he would have let you go.

But he did let me go.

So he loved her. But she knew enough of love – from books, admittedly – to know love was not meant to be so simple. Then again, this love, the love she felt for him – and a love that grew stronger every time she thought about it – was far from simple. She wanted nothing more than for him to be happy, and for her love to save him? It was a happier ending than she could have ever imagined.

She didn't plan to kiss him that night. Simply talk with him again, just like they often did. Let him know she cared enough to return to him and let it run it's course. When the time was right for it, the kiss would happen. She found that she quite looked forward to it.

Entering the dining hall, where they spent most of their time together, any doubt or worry she had evaporated. There at the wheel sat Rumplestiltskin. But he wasn't spinning, with his expression vacant, staring at the wheel without truly seeing it. He had his stool positioned so he could be facing the wheel while watching the door. Watching for her. He'd seen her coming. He'd watched for her. Waited for her. Belle felt overjoyed.

He tried to play it off, of course, which only made her laugh. It was useless and they both knew it.

Oh, come on. You're happy I'm back.

I'm not unhappy.

She beamed at him. She wondered if he'd still be so silly with his affections once he was a man again. She wondered how many more kisses they'd share. How many more roses, how many more quips. She looked forward to all of this. She looked forward to the stories told of how a young woman's love saved her dearest from his dark curse, and they lived happily ever after. A story where love was found between the most unlikely pairing. The story of a beauty and her gold-hearted 'beast'.

There you are. My thoughts on Belle's thoughts before all the drama and sadness happen. I love this pairing so much it hurts. And I hope you enjoyed this.

Reviews are appreciated. Always.