"Come on Butters, help me get out of here," the Coon ordered. The blond boy he addressed watched the heroes climb up the stairs of their secret base.
"I don't know Eric, you kind of deserve it," Professor Chaos muttered. He glanced over uncertainly at the boy in the raccoon suit.
"My name's not Eric. It is the coon; my identity is a secret. And I do not deserve this, they turned evil. I had no choice," he reminded as he deepened his voice. "Now how do we get out of here?" Chaos shook the heavy bars that contained them in the metal cell. There was no way they could get out. The cell was just too strong.
"Wait, look over there," the Coon said while pointing to a lone screwdriver sitting on the desk in front of the prison. "If we can get that then we'll be able to get out of here. But how?" Professor Chaos slipped through the metal bars to get the tool that Toolshed most likely left behind. He slowly tiptoed over to the key to their escape but was stopped when he heard someone come down the stairs. Panicked, the evil genius ran back into his cell with the Coon.
"You could have fit through this whole time? And you're still in here? Damn it Butters, you are the worst super villain of all time."
"Well, that'd be cheating a-a-and I probably deserve to be in here anyways," the hurt boy explained.
"That's right, you both belong in there: especially you Coon." Professor Chaos turned to see Toolshed at the foot of the stairs.
"B-b-but what I did was way worse, right?" he stuttered while grasping the bars in front of him.
"Well, I mean writing a note that said 'Chaos rules, Coon drools' on Cartman's front door isn't really evil. It was actually pretty funny to see fat ass make such a big deal about it. I mean, the only reason you're really in here is because of that dick next to you," the Toolshed replied. Professor Chaos glanced down at his feet with a look of grief.
"Not evil?"
"Hey, shut the fuck up! Don't you have some gay ass plan to carry out? That's what you traitor 'heroes' do, right?" the Coon sneered.
"Actually, I just forgot my dad's screwdriver. He's already upset that I stole it." The Toolshed made his way to the device and quickly returned to the stairs before adding, "Don't help him Butters. He's an asshole."
"Fuck you Stan!" Professor Chaos glanced over to the enraged super hero after the boy covered in tools left them alone.
"What exactly did you do?" he asked in curiosity. The Coon rolled his eyes in return.
"I already told you, I was bringing peace to the world until those pieces of shit heroes turned on me and tried to stop me."
"But Toolshed just said that-"
"You can't trust him. Somehow something changed them, something evil. Was there anyone down here that I didn't know about?" the Coon questioned. Chaos looked up at the steel ceiling and thought long and hard.
"No one but me and the others were ever down here, why?" He watched as the Coon glared back in disbelief.
"My God Butters, do you know what this means?"
"You were wrong about them turning bad?" Chaos answered as his cellmate walked to the corner deep in reflection.
"No, this means that you were the one who did this!"
"I did?" Next thing he knew, the super awesome super evil super genius was pushed against the corner.
"Damn you! How did you do it?" the Coon asked viciously.
"I don't know," he yelped in confusion.
"You must have a power of some kind! Tell me!" Professor Chaos felt so much fear, his eyes began to water.
"I don't know!" he repeated loudly. "Now I may be a villain, but I would never do that to anyone."
"Yes you would."
"I would?"
"Yes, I see it know! You turned them so they could do your bidding. With an army of super heroes, you could bring destruction to the world!" the Coon explained with realization. Chaos, however, was left in confusion.
"I could?"
"Yes, that was your plan the whole time! Have us bring you to our secret base then transform us all while we least expected it!"
"It was?" the Coon released Chaos and stepped back.
"You are the best super villain of all time!" Chaos lifted his head at these words.
"But if I did that, then how come I'm still in here?"
"It must have backfired, or maybe you made them so evil that they decided not to take orders from anyone."
"Oh hamburgers," Chaos muttered, "I guess I don't know my own strength."
"You have to turn them back before they do something like- oh God."
"What?"
"What if Kyle forces everyone to be a Jew? And then he kills Jesus again?"
"Alright, alright I'll try. But how do we get out of here? Without that screwdriver, we're stuck here."
"Maybe not, remember when you slipped through? Go get the key over there and bring it back," Coon ordered. Professor Chaos crept through the metal bars with ease and made his way to the key that hung on the wall beside them. He grasped the key and held it close. "Alright Butters, now come back and free me."
"It's Professor Chaos." A smirk crawled on his face as he put the key in his pocket.
"Butters!" the Coon warned in desperation.
"No, I am the most evil being on all of earth. With my powers, I'll make an army and have everyone in the world be my minions. Then people will notice me. No one will ever cast me away ever again!" Professor Chaos announced as he laughed maniacally and ran up the stairs.
"God damn it."