Hello Hetalia fandom and welcome to my first ever Hetalia one-shot! I just recently became a pasta-loving fan of the anime so to properly show my love and affection, I decided to write this! The funny thing is that I figured if I were to ever write something for Hetalia, I'd think I'd do it for the wonderful GerIta couple! Oh well, I might get to it eventually! ;)
In the meantime, enjoy PruCan in all its awesome glory!
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. If I did, then I would single-handedly pay for Prussia and Canada's wedding XD I also don't own anything you happen to recognize.
Rated T for language, mild sexual themes, innuendo, and references, SLASH!
P.S Human names are used very often, and I refuse to spell out words to match the accents so use your imagination; I cannot deal with spellcheck!
Another day, another world conference. Clutching his polar bear companion, Kilimanjaro (…?), closer to him, Canada entered the meeting room, unnoticed of course, and scanned the area. Everyone was loudly chatting with one another or, in England and France's case, exchanging less-than friendly (more like violent) words.
Sighing to himself, Canada took his usual seat next to France (hands to yourself, perv!) and unconsciously squeezed Kuma-somethingoranother to his chest and watched as Britain and France argued over their respective cuisines. It appeared that everyone was present, yet the two empty seats across from Canada proved otherwise. The invisible nation made a quick, mental head count and realized that Germany and Italy Veneziano weren't accounted for.
Puzzled that the strict, by-the-book nation and his best friend weren't there, Canada settled back in his seat and wondered when the meeting will officially begin seeing that Germany often if not always maintained order. Without him, the conference would surely erupt into chaos.
He and Italy must be running late. Canada shrugged to himself and prepared to wait for their arrival. However, America wasn't willing to be patient. "Alright dudes, listen up! It looks like Germany and Italy aren't gonna show up so, being the hero I am, I'll take over and get us started! Our topic for the day is…" he paused for dramatic effect, "WORLD HUNGER!"
As his older twin beamed proudly at the dozens of eyes trained (unwillingly) on him, Matthew blew a strand of wheat-blonde hair from his face, his twilight-violet orbs looking up at the ceiling. Only Al…
Kumakiku sensed his movement from his master's lap and quizzically glanced up at him. "Who are you?"
"I'm Canada," the nation automatically responded, already use to the routine.
Kumajirou (that's it) shifted and stated, "Hungry."
"You just had breakfast," Matthew pointed out.
"Still hungry." And with that, the small bear hopped off of his owner and strolled out of the room, presumably to find a kitchenette within the conference building.
Canada watched him go and released another sigh. Looks like it's just me for a while. He leaned forward, elbow on the table and chin in palm, and prepared himself for one of Alfred's rants. As much as he loved his brother, Matt just didn't have the energy that morning. Last night, he had watched a (very important, can't be missed) hockey game that lasted until the early hours of the next day. Canada had barely managed a couple of hours of sleep before he was forced to get up to prepare for the world conference.
So as it was, Matthew had limited patience, especially in regards to his brother's usual ramblings. However, just as Alfred was about to open his mouth to propose whatever 'creative' plan he had in mind, Japan politely intervened, "Um, excuse me America-san, but shouldn't we wait for Germany-san and Italy-san? They have yet to arrive, and it would seem rude to begin without them."
America flashed the reserved country a dazzling grin and replied, "No worries Japan! They can catch up if and when they show up, but in the meantime, I'll lead the meeting since I'm the hero!"
"Actually, I think Japan has a point, aru," China spoke up. "Though it's not much of a loss if Italy is absent, Germany does lead our meetings and maintain order. Perhaps we ought to wait a few more minutes. He could just be running late."
America brushed off the suggestion with a casual scoff. "Oh please, I can totally handle this! I can run a conference just as well as Germany can and I can keep order and shit! Anyways, everyone will be too busy listening to me in my big hero voice to screw around! It'll be kick ass!"
"I think we should wait for our comrades to arrive, da?" Canada unconsciously shivered at Russia's remark, taking note of the seemingly sweet, calm smile on his face. "After all, you are much too incapable of handling the responsibility of running a meeting-"
"Zip it, commie!" America interrupted as his bright smile wavered a bit. "I'm the strongest country here so I'm in charge! Besides, Germany probably won't be showing up anyways—he's probably busy doing Italy as we speak! Those two have such obvious sexual tension!"
Canada winced as that image invaded his thoughts and the other nations experienced similar reactions, save for Hungary who practically glowed at the thought, her camera and handkerchief poised at ready, and France whose crystal orbs gleamed in an unsettling manner.
Suddenly, Matt jumped as Romano violently slammed his fist upon the table. "Don't talk about my idiot brother and the potato bastard like that—it's disgusting!"
"Oh, but Lovi~" Spain cooed, trying to take the other nation by the hand, "don't you think little Feli and Ludwig would make a cute couple? Que es lindo, ¿no?"
Romano snatched his hand away and snapped, "NO! And don't call me that, tomato bastard!"
"Why not?" Spain innocently asked, naively pouting. "I think Lovi is a cute nickname for you, Lovi~"
SMACK! "SHUT UP!"
"Ouch! That hurt! …But I forgive you since you're so cute!"
"What did you call me, bastardo?!"
"I said you're so cute…especially when your adorable face turns as red as a tomato...like that! So cute~"
SMACK! "What part of 'shut up' don't you get, idiota?!"
"Hey dudes, can we focus on me now?! I'm in charge-"
"No one put you in charge, you bloody git!"
"Kolkolkol, perhaps I should lead this meeting, da?" *Insert demonic, purple aura here*
"No way, commie! You might infect us all with your Communist talk!"
"Don't talk to big brother like that!" A knife then whizzed across the table and lodged itself in the wall just centimeters away from Nantucket.
"Holy shit!"
It seemed that the meeting would erupt into its usual chaos and Canada was well prepared to hide under the table the moment someone decided to throw something when the entrance door unexpectedly slammed opened, revealing a highly irate Germany. It grew quiet as his looming figure towered over and his pure blue orbs scanned the room, taking in the high tension. Coming up behind him was the ever cheerful Italy who was smiling brightly at the crowd of nations, oblivious to the atmosphere.
Canada looked at them and actually felt mildly relieved and then noticed a flash of white walk in behind them. His eyes widened as they took in Prussia in all his 'awesome' glory, recognizing him by his platinum white hair, pale skin, and startling red eyes. The ex-nation glanced around the room with confidence, his cranberry-red orbs alight with the same amount of mischief as his smirking lips.
For a moment, Prussia's eyes managed to catch Canada's and the two looked at each other for a moment. Matthew felt his cheeks heat up as Gilbert's smirk roguishly broadened upon sight of him and he instantly looked away, embarrassed.
Even so, he still felt Prussia's gaze on him.
"Sorry we're late," Germany gruffly stated, addressing the entire room.
"Dudes! What took you guys so long?! The commie tried to cause another Red Scare and his psycho sister tried to kill me!"
"What did you say, rat?!" America yelped and dove to the floor when another knife was flung at his head. Canada couldn't help but flinch as if Belarus had been aiming at him.
"Sister…you missed," Russia simply stated, yet the 'pleasant' smile on his face switched to a terrified grimace when Belarus turned her crazed attention on him. "Kolkolkolkol…"
Amused, Prussia snickered to himself. "Kesesese~"
"Now hold on, explain why he's here," Austria demanded as he threw a glare at Prussia. "This meeting is for recognized nations only."
"What, you don't recognize the Awesome Me, Roddy?" Gilbert retorted with a sneer. "Maybe you should get your glasses checked…or better yet, get your mole removed; I think it's in the way of your beady little eyes! Haha, loser!"
"Prussia!" Germany reprimanded before Austria could retaliate. Turning to said country, Ludwig responded, "Mein bruder is here because I need to keep an eye on him. He was arrested recently-"
"For being awesome!"
"And I don't trust him by himself," Germany finished as if Prussia hadn't interrupted.
Half of the countries groaned in which Prussia countered with, "You all are just jealous of how lame you are compared to my awesome! Be honored that I'm even here to grace your shitty lives!"
"Pipe down, wanker!"
"Shut up albino bastard!"
"Aiyaa! Get over yourself, aru!"
*Switzerland's gun is cocked*
"Pasta~!"
A light smile floated on Canada's lips as he gradually became more awake from all the excitement. If he had to be perfectly honest with himself, he actually didn't mind that Prussia was sticking around. He thought Gilbert had an interesting sense of humor and was fun to be around. The 'awesome' ex-nation's boisterous attitude was quite endearing, and he was decent company once you got to know him. Canada recalled the few instances when he and Prussia interacted and smiled. About half of those times, Gil had been the drunk off his ass (the stunts he pulls in his alcohol-induced state are not only hilarious but somewhat charming) and the rest of the times he had made Matthew laugh with his dirty jokes and overall arrogance.
Despite America's (and some of the other nations') misgivings about him, Canada liked Prussia.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Germany shouted over the squabbles, and almost instantly everyone shut up and the room went quiet. "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT EVERYONE THINKS, MY BRUDER IS STAYING HERE AT THIS MEETING UNLESS YOU'D RATHER I LET HIM OFF HIS LEASH AND ALLOW HIM TO PROWL AROUND THE BUILDING OR EVEN AT THE HOTEL, THUS GIVING HIM FULL ACCESS INTO YOUR STUFF! SO QUIT WHINING AND DEAL WITH IT UNLESS YOU'D RATHER HE RAN AROUND UNSUPERVISED!" The room practically shook like an earthquake during Germany's commands, yet it went back to normal once he stopped talking. No one had any complaints or comments except for Italy and Prussia.
"Doitsu, you yell too much. Perhaps I should give you a nice massage and then we'll take a siesta together. You're too tense!"
"Off my leash? Totally not awesome, West."
Suddenly drained, Germany ran a large hand over his face and pushed back some loose strands of blonde hair. "Whatever, let's just get started. Italy, take your seat."
"Ve~ okay Luddy!" Italy then happily skipped over to his usual spot, oblivious to Germany's lightly blushing cheeks.
However, he regained himself and turned to Prussia. "Bruder, just find any empty seat available and sit down quietly. I want no interruptions from you." Then his blue eyes glanced around the room and landed on Canada. "There's an empty seat by France. Go on."
For a moment, Matthew was mildly offended that he was (once again) not noticed, but was a bit pleased over the fact that Gilbert could see him and would gladly point this out to his brother. However, to his surprise (and unease), Prussia smirked and said, "Yeah, sure thing, West."
Then he made his way over to Canada and proceeded to sit on his lap, his whole body obscuring him from anyone's view (that is, if they were to actually see him). Canada gasped and turned bright red as Prussia made himself comfortable on him, seeming oblivious to his presence.
Oh maple…not again! Canada squirmed uneasily and tried to move to get away. However, Prussia's well-toned body proved to be heavy and as solid as a boulder. Matthew felt flushed and somewhat suffocated as his chest was pressed into Gilbert's back, his nose touching the other's pale neck, and his lap was underneath the Prussian's rear while Gilbert's strong calves were pressed into his legs. The invisible nation's hands were trapped between his and Prussia's bodies, and his palms pressed flat against the other's back. In fact, if he wanted, he could trace his fingers up and down Gilbert's spine…
"P-Prussia…Gilbert…y-you're sitting on me," Canada stuttered out, wriggling to get free.
Though Canada could've sworn he saw Prussia's ears twitch and his eyes shift at his voice, the other said nothing and didn't seem to hear him. Matthew held back a sigh and fidgeted apprehensively in his compromising position.
"Ah, mon ami!" France exclaimed with glee as he looked to Prussia. "It is good to see you today! I feel like it has been ages since we have last seen each other!"
Prussia grinned in response and said, "Yeah, I've deprived you of my awesomeness far too long, Francy-pants! We ought to grab drinks later so I can outdrink your frilly ass!"
"Ohonhonhon~ don't act so cocky, mon cher. I know for a fact that I can hold my drink better that you can!"
"You're on! I'll tell Toni later! This night is gonna be fucking awesome!"
"Oui, it shall be magnifique!"
"Um, Gil…"
"Alright, settle down everyone!" Germany swept his usual frown across the room and glared over at Prussia as if to say 'behave yourself'. "I'd like to start this meeting with our first topic of the day-"
"Whoa, hold on a minute, dude!" America interrupted. "While you, your boy toy, and your bro were dragging your tardy asses, I, the hero, started the meeting already! We were talking about world hunger before you barged in so I'd like to continue that!"
The loud blonde then turned his attention to the rest of the countries. "So since I'm the only nation who actually does something to help the starving children in third world countries, I've decided to green light a plan that I like to call 'Operation Big Mac'! Basically, I was thinking that I borrow some of you guys' money to build a McDonald's in every starving country there is! It's brilliant because children can't starve when they have Big Macs, fries, and soda to gorge on, and you guys should totally agree with me so I can emerge as the hero!"
"That has to be the most absurd plan I've ever heard!" Britain shouted in anger.
"You just don't like it because you didn't think of it-"
"And I'm bloody glad I didn't think of it! That has to be your most preposterous plan yet! I actually prefer your other ridiculous ones that involve giant robots or a bumbling hero idiot!"
"'Preposterous'? Dude, you should really start using hip words like 'dope' and 'YOLO'! Your old man words make it hard to take you seriously!"
"OLD MAN WORDS-?!"
"Enough with your useless squabbling!" Germany roared in frustration. "Can we just get back on track?! America!" Ludwig sharply turned to the country. "You are not the only nation that's making an effort to solve world hunger! My country has been doing their part in national organizations for years and Britain is right, your plan is ridiculous!"
"What?! No it's not! You're all just jealous!"
"Ohonhonhon~ why don't we send out some of my country's cuisines? After all, they are the best in all of Europe, oui?"
"Oh bloody hell it's not, frog!"
"Like yours is any better, Angleterre?"
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"
"It means your cooking sucks and tastes like shit, kesesesese~" Soon, Prussia's comment ignited another conflict and the room was in an uproar once again. Canada didn't bother paying attention since he still had his own issue to deal with.
He tried twisting out of his position, yet couldn't get himself or Prussia to budge. Oh maple, can't he tell that I'm here! "Gilbert…Gilbert! Please get off of me! I'm not a chair!" He tried raising his voice but, unfortunately, his awesomeness didn't hear him.
"Oh Prussia, you almighty awesome being…please get off me and I'll make you pancakes with German beer and wurst on the side." …Nothing.
Groaning to himself, Canada actually used his squished hands to knock on Prussia's back as if he were knocking on a door, yet didn't receive any results. "Prussia, can you hear me? You're sitting on me so please get off." He wriggled again his position, hoping that the ex-nation would feel him, but that resulted in nothing—if anything, it caused Gilbert to press himself further onto Matthew, making himself snug.
This is hopeless. It's like with Russia all over again. My only hope is to hold out until lunch and God willing Prussia will get up. Canada glanced at the clock and sighed unhappily. He still had some time until noon when the conference was let out for a lunch break, and until then, he was stuck with an arrogant Prussian on his lap.
Matthew frowned at the thought. It wasn't so much that he was being sat on that irritated him (though that was annoying; I mean, c'mon, again?!), but it was the fact that it was Gilbert that was sitting on him. One of the reasons why Canada liked and appreciated him was that he was one of the few people who actually recognized and noticed him, and not once had the ex-nation ever mistaken him for America. Up until that moment, Matt was sure that he could rely on his friend to never forget about him.
Saddened by the mere thought, Canada slumped in his seat and unconsciously allowed Prussia to relax further into him. By then, Germany (with the help of Switzerland and the threat of his shotgun) had managed to get everything and everyone in order, and the meeting proceeded without further delay. However, Canada didn't really notice as he tried to think of a way to alert Prussia of his presence.
At that moment, the invisible nation noticed a small, furry figure walk in and waddle over towards him. Soon, he was looking into the eyes of Kuma-kuma who in turn was looking questioningly back him, whether because he was having trouble recognizing him or because he was wondering why his owner was being sat on.
It was too much to hope for the latter.
"Kuma," Canada grunted out. "Kuma, do me a favor and tell Prussia," he awkwardly pointed at the albino, "to get off the chair—he's sitting on me."
"Who?"
"Canada, your owner!"
Kumajirou (I'm not forgetting this time!) tilted his small head to the side and looked up at Prussia. "Is that Gilbird's human?"
"Yes! Now tell him to get off of me!"
"Piyo~!" Then at that moment, the bird mentioned poked his head out of Prussia's hair and flew out to land on Kuma…(damn it!)'s head.
The polar bear looked up at his bird companion and said, "Hello Gilbird."
"Piyo~!" Then the tiny yellow bird proceeded to chirp away, appearing to tell Kumajelly something in his animal language. The bear nodded a few times, humming in understanding and looking from Canada to Prussia a few times. Matthew wasn't reassured.
Eventually, Kumajoub-joub inclined his head and looked to his owner. "Gilbird says to let his human sit on you."
Canada started with shock and his violet eyes widened. "E-eh?!"
"He says to let Prussia go through with his 'awesome' plan."
"W-what?! Plan?! N-No! Tell Prussia to-"
"Oh, what a cute little bear!" Canada grinded his teeth as Kumawhatsit's attention was taken away by France.
The blonde Frenchman smiled at the bear and cooed, "Aren't you just the most adorable thing in the world! But it's a little far from any snow, oui? Who do you belong to?"
Kuma blinked at him and replied, "Cada says I shouldn't talk to you."
"Oh? Why not? And who is this Cada?"
"He's my owner, and he says that the French guy shouldn't be trusted." Gilbird chirped in agreement, and with that, Kuma-seriouslywhatthehellishisname toddled off with the bird on his head.
Canada groaned as France chuckled. "Ohonhonhon~ what a sweet little bear! I wonder who that Cada person was." He then tapped his stubbly chin in thought. "I feel like I know someone who has a small polar bear, but I can't remember who."
It's me! For the love of pancakes, I'm right here! "France? Francis? Papa, can you see me? I need a hand!" Unfortunately, even his former caretaker didn't notice him and Canada was getting impatient. Surely someone ought to see him!
Biting his lower lip, Canada looked around the table, specifically at the nations sitting closest to him, and tried to find someone that would see him and come to his rescue. Let's see…England? …Nope, if he can't see me, then he mistakes me for America. Cuba? …Not unless I want a beating. Netherlands? …Nope, he's a little too far away. Russia? …OH MAPLE, DEFINITELY NOT! Italy… Matthew glanced over at the bubbly Italian who was happily doodling on a sheet of paper rather than listening to the meeting. The cheerful young man sat right across from him and though he rarely regarded him, perhaps Canada could get his attention.
Clinging to the small dew of hope within him, Canada squirmed a bit and tried to think of a way to get the ditzy nation to look over at him. Finally, he took a deep breath and voiced as loud as he could, "Italy!"
Unfortunately, his soft voice wasn't loud enough for the pasta-loving country to hear him so Canada tried again. "Feliciano!"
Again, nothing. A surge of determination took over his being and he whisper-shouted, "FREE PASTA!"
To his relief, the Italian nation actually heard him and he looked up and looked his way, his expression initially eager over hearing something about his favorite food only to turn curious and confused upon seeing him. Canada smiled to himself before saying, "Tell Prussia to get off of me!"
Italy tilts his head to the side in response and appears puzzled. Figuring that Feliciano probably couldn't hear him, Canada sighed and tried again: "Can you" he points to Italy, "tell Prussia" he gestures to the nation sitting on him, "to get off" he makes hand movements that indicate he's lifting something "of me?" then he lastly points to himself.
The Italian blinks as he stared at Matthew, watching as he repeatedly made the same gestures until something sparks in his amber eyes. For a moment, Canada thinks that he understood him and felt a glimmer of hope light within his stomach as Italy smiles brightly and stands up in his seat…only to sit down on Germany's lap instead.
Canada gaped at his actions while Ludwig wasn't amused. "What the-? ITALY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! GET OFF OF ME!" And with that, he made a move to shove off his ally, but was restrained when Italy threw his arms around his neck. Somewhere in the back of the room, a camera went off a few times.
Germany turned bright red and sputtered a bit as Feli innocently smiled at him. "But Luddy, I have to sit on you! The guy sitting over there told me to and he said he'd give me free pasta!" What? No I didn't!
The German's head snapped up and he looked over to where Italy was pointing and thought he was referring to Prussia, much to Canada's disappointment. Ludwig glared at the albino and growled, "What the hell is the meaning of this, East?! What have I told you about messing with Italy?!"
Gilbert raised up his hands in appeasement. "Hey, don't look at me, I didn't say anything. Maybe Ita-chan just wanted to sit on you since he thinks you're somewhat awesome…but not nearly as awesome as me!"
At that, Germany's face turned to a darker crimson, subconsciously aware that the entire conference had their attention on him. Hungary's camera instantly went off again.
However, before he could say anything, Italy spoke up, "Ve~ but doitsu, Prussia didn't tell me anything; it was the ghost that he's sitting on! He told me to sit on your lap, and I'm glad he did because you're very comfortable!" He snuggled closer to Germany whose face couldn't get any redder but somehow managed to.
"N-NEIN! VERDAMMT, GET OFF!" Then he successfully shoved off Italy who cried out in alarm.
"W-wait, did he say something about a ghost?!" America instantly paled at the thought. "HOLY SHIT, IS THERE A GHOST IN HERE?!" Then after releasing a highly unmanly scream, Alfred dove under the table to hide. Latvia instantly followed his example, blanching and trembling at the mere idea of a ghost amongst them.
"You bloody gits, there aren't any ghosts!"
"And how would you know that then, British jerk?"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, SEALAND?!"
"Scare away the ghosts with your weird, mumbo jumbo Hogwarts magic, Iggy! Call Dumbledora the Explorer!"
"Will you all calm down?!"
"You Westerners are so immature! There's no such thing as ghosts...there are only spirits and demons, aru."
"Ve~ Germany, can I sit on your lap again? It's cozy!"
"NEIN!"
"Aw c'mon West, let Ita-chan sit on your lap! He wants to get intimate with you!" To Canada's surprise, Prussia actually pressed himself further into his 'seat'.
Spain instantly perked up. "Oh, that's a great idea!" Then he turned to Romano, beaming with delight. "Why don't you follow your brother's example and sit on my lap, Lovi~!" Then without giving him time to respond, Antonio quickly grabbed Romano by the waist and deposited him on his lap, keeping his arms wrapped around him.
Lovino, who had been in the middle of glaring at Germany, instantly cussed in Italian and began struggling. "WHAT THE HELL?! LET ME GO, TOMATO BASTARD!"
"But Romano~ you're so cute and snuggly!" As if to emphasize his point, Spain nuzzled Lovino's neck, causing the Southern half of Italy to turn bright red and let loose another string of profanities.
"CHIGI!"
"Ohonhonhon~ I see you have the right idea, mon ami!" France then looked to Ukraine who happened to be sitting next to him. "Care to take a seat on my lap, cher?"
Ukraine immediately got nervous. "Um…"
"You won't be talking to my sister, da?" Russia smiled at France who instantly recoiled at the sight of his purple aura.
"O-oui!"
"Do you want me to sit on your lap, big brother?"
"…Kolkolkolkolkol."
"I'm not hearing a 'no'! C'mon, Russia, let me sit on your lap and then we'll become one!"
*Scoots chair away*
"Japan! Dude! Hold me!" America suddenly sprang out from under the table and latched onto Japan who instantly stiffened, his eyes widening and his face paling then reddening.
"Eto, eto, eto…"
"Get off him, wanker! There aren't any ghosts!"
"Jealous, Angleterre? Why don't you come here and sit on my lap, and I will coddle you with affection—show me just how much of a dirty pirate you once were~!"
"What the-? Hands off you pervert!"
"Ohonhonhon~ you know you like it!"
"Um, Miss Hungary? Your nose is bleeding, aru."
"Huh…? Oh thank you, China."
"...Can't you control yourself? Nose bleeds are highly unlady-like."
"Oh relax, Austria, it's not like it's getting on my dress this time!"
Seeing that the meeting was disrupted once again, Canada sighed and rested his head against Prussia's back. Oh maple, now look what I've done!
"Kesesese~ so fucking hilarious!"
Matthew then looked up at Gilbert and was surprised to see his head turned and his crimson orbs trained on him. The moment the two locked eyes, Prussia instantly turned back around and glanced away, his orbs widening a bit before he smirked as if nothing had happened.
Canada's eyes dilated in realization and his mouth opened ever so slightly. He…he knows I'm here! He can see me!
For a second, Canada couldn't do anything in his shock before the odd mixture of annoyance, relief, and happiness jolted through him. Though he was irritated that Prussia had been blatantly ignoring him and outright sitting on him, he was even happier that his friend hadn't forgotten about him after all.
Matthew wasn't sure whether to smack Gilbert or hug him, yet in his position, he couldn't really do either.
Chuckling to himself, Canada tapped Prussia on the shoulder and said, "Alright Gil, you got me. It's very funny how you've used me as a chair and pretended that you didn't notice me." Light sarcasm coated his tone, yet Matt could help but smile. "Okay, your fun's over so can you please get off of me now?"
Canada furrowed his brow when he didn't receive a response though he was sure that Prussia's smirk widened a bit. "Uh Gilbert…I said you can get off of me now. I'm on to your little joke."
Still nothing. Becoming mildly frustrated, Matthew squirmed in his seat. "Prussia, GET OFF!"
It was apparent by the albino's obvious smirk that he wasn't going to get up, despite that the Canadian saw through him. Canada groaned and attempted to buck Prussia off, but was unable to.
As Matthew grumbled to himself, the rest of the nations had calmed down considerably: America managed to (reluctantly) stop clinging to a traumatized Japan, Estonia succeeded in coaxing Latvia out from under the table, Hungary got her nosebleed under control, the lump on France's head warned him against trying to molest (and undress) Britain, Romano was begrudgingly trying to get some water for Spain who he had knocked unconscious, and Germany demanded that Italy not sit on his lap again, yet (more or less) conceded when the Italian wanted to rest his head on his shoulders.
All in all, the meeting was back on track.
However, this wasn't the case for Canada who was in the same predicament as he had basically started with. He frowned and tried to think of a way to get Prussia off of him. The jig was up so why didn't Prussia want to quit?
He's probably just being him.
Annoyed, Canada released a small, cool breath to vent a little, unknowingly tickling the back of Prussia's neck. It caught him off guard when Gilbert shivered a bit, seemingly from pleasure. Matthew was stunned for a moment and, as an experiment, did it again except with a stronger air flow than before. As a result, Prussia trembled more noticeably.
Is Gil ticklish?
Grinning at the thought, Canada leaned forward and exhaled a warm gust of air upon the Prussian's neck, taking some secret delight when his companion actually shuddered and tensed his shoulders. His grin extended in response, and he took a good look at Gilbert's neck. It was just as pale as the rest of his skin, yet it was somehow inviting. Suddenly, the image of dragging his tongue on that patch of skin hit him unexpectedly, and he felt hot.
EH! Don't think of things like that! You'll end up like France!
Canada took a moment to shake his head of the thought before deciding to go with another strategy. His arms may have been squashed in-between his and Gilbert's body, but he was still able to wriggle them free and soon he was allowed to wave his arms around. Taking full advantage of the opportunity, Matt resolved to put his theory of Gilbert being ticklish to the test and began using his arm to poke Prussia on his side. The albino flinched ever so slightly and Canada quietly chuckled. Then he applied his fingers to wiggle and run up and down Prussia's side, hoping to tickle his funny bone.
However, he was unprepared for when Prussia unexpectedly grabbed his hand and pressed it onto the table while his own larger one covered it. Canada gasped and automatically attempted to wrench himself free, only to have Prussia tighten his grip.
Matthew bit his lower lip and wondered if Gilbert would actually acknowledge him now. Yet, he was proven wrong when Prussia still ignored him and instead started rubbing light circles onto the back of his hand with his thumb, brushing it over Canada's willowy knuckles several times. At one point, Gilbert actually had the gall to lift up the other nation's hand and lightly press his lips to it, gently kissing the fingers.
Matt couldn't fight the shiver of delight that jolted down his spine, and he forced himself to focus, suddenly hyper aware of just how close the two were. From his position, Canada was actually able to smell Gilbert and he unconsciously took in his scent.
Beer, wurst, and…oak trees? How lovely.
Then of course, it came to his attention that Prussia's butt was pressing into his thighs, somewhat close to Canada's "vital regions". The invisible nation blushed a red that outmatched Prussia's eyes and he squirmed uncomfortably, willing that his breathing would slow down.
As if feeling him squirm, Prussia then proceeded to brush his lips against the Canadian's palm, letting his hot breath ghost over his light skin. Matthew clenched his fist as if to tell Gilbert to quit it, but he was once again disregarded when the ex-nation squeezed his hand in response.
Canada closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing. Prussia was not going to give up easily on this, yet neither was he. As Matthew wondered what else he could do, he realized that though his right hand was in Gilbert's possession, his left hand wasn't.
Now normally, Canada wasn't one to resort to violence, but he felt that this called for an exception. He steadily creeped his hand up until it reached Prussia's head and, in one swift movement, he yanked the albino's ear. Canada was satisfied to hear a small, barely suppressed "ack!" from Gilbert and he couldn't hold back a giggle.
Hearing his friend's noise, France turned to Prussia and inquired, "Something wrong, mon ami?"
Canada instantly released Prussia's ear when he reached over to irritably rub it. "Nah, everything is as awesome as ever." France studied him for a moment before shrugging and turning his attention back to the meeting.
"That'll teach you for using me as a chair!" Canada whispered, sounding somewhat triumphant.
Prussia's eye twitched in annoyance before a mischievous smirk overtook his features. Canada stiffened a bit. That's not a good sign…
As it turns out, his intuition was correct when Prussia moved Canada's captured hand off the table and onto his thigh instead. Matthew jumped slightly as his hand was pressed into the albino's leg, forcing to feel soft flesh selfishly covered up by pants.
The Canadian instantly tried to pull away, using all of his strength to vigorously yank his hand back, yet accomplished nothing. Then to Matthew's horror, Gilbert began to slowly move his hand upwards…
Oh maple, oh maple, oh maple, he wouldn't!
"P-Prussia?" The hand was still going.
"G-Gilbert…s-stop." His hand was now resting on the ex-nation's hip, his fingers twitching over sharp bone.
Canada felt his cheeks burn at an unbearable temperature, and he began squirming to get free. "Prussia, if you don't stop right now, I'll never talk to you again!"
The hand holding his tightened for a moment before it began guiding Matt's hand to the crotch area…
Oh maple, oh maple, oh maple, OH MAPLE!
"I'll n-never give you maple syrup again…" Canada weakly threatened. His hand was getting closer…
It was only until Matthew was practically palming Gilbert when he blurted out, "I'M PRETTY SURE YOUR 5 METERS IS ONLY 5 MILLIMETERS!"
Silence. For a moment, neither of the two moved and Canada desperately tried to curl his fingers as far away from Prussia's…sensitive area as possible.
Gilbert's grip on his hand instantly went lax, and Canada was just about to breath in relief when Prussia suddenly got up, rounded on him, and straddled him from the front.
"Oh hell no! The Awesome Me shall not accept that, Birdie! I'll have you know that my 5 meters really is 5 meters and every fucking meter is fucking awesome! I can show you if you need proof!" He smirked at Canada's horrified expression and called out, "someone bring a fucking measuring tape!", all the while not breaking his gaze on Matt.
By now, everyone's attention was definitely on Prussia and…whoever that was on the chair. Germany wasn't too keen on his brother interrupting yet again. "Bruder! What is the meaning of this?!"
Prussia briefly took his focus off of a fiercely blushing Canada (stop blushing, stop blushing, stop blushing…eyes up, eyes up, eyes up...oh for heaven's sake, stop staring! It isn't 5 meters!) and glanced over at Germany. "West! Birdie refuses to believe that my Awesome 5 meters is really 5 meters!"
Germany's cheeks lightly turned pink while the other nations either groaned or blanched. "East…you just can't…you shouldn't…who the hell is this Birdie character?"
"Who the hell is Birdie?!" Canada flinched when Prussia reached down to grab his chin. "This guy here with the most fucking adorable face is mein kleiner vögelchen!"
For a moment, all the other countries were puzzled, but after looking in Matthew's direction for a couple of seconds, they finally perceived that the rosy-cheeked apparition was actually another nation as well as a person.
"Yo Mattie! When did you get here?!"
"Ah, mon petit Mattheiu! You should have told me that you were here and I would've given you a proper French greeting!"
"Ve~ I told you there was a ghost there, Germany!"
*Hungary's camera goes off several times while blood drips down her nose*
"Comrade Matvey! How nice of you to join us!"
"Chigi! When did the maple bastard get here?!"
"I…I've been here the whole time," Canada muttered quietly as he looked anywhere but at Prussia's piercing cranberry-red eyes that were intensely trained on him. "Prussia was just sitting on me." Gilbert confirmed that with a smirk.
"Ohonhonhon~ Gillie you naughty boy!"
"Hey whoa! Don't be trying to invade my brother's vital regions you albino freak!"
"East! Stop this nonsense and get off…this person!"
"Really Germany, you should've expected something like this to occur seeing that it is Prussia we're dealing with."
"Sit down Austria! You're blocking my shot!"
"Miss Hungary, would be so kind as to send me a copy of your photos?"
"Sure thing, Kiku!"
Canada was sure his mortification had reached its limit when he was saved by the bell…literally. The clock hanging on the far wall struck noon, which indicated that it was break time. Everyone instantly got up, relieved, and began heading—no, rushing—out the doors, completely forgetting about the scene that had just played before them.
"Ah sweet, lunchtime! Who's up for McDonald's?!"
"No one is, git!"
"Don't knock it till you try it, Iggy!"
"Don't call me that, you bloody little wanker!"
"Fine…Eyebrows."
"GAH!"
"Germany! I want some pasta with pizza and spaghetti and gelato and-"
"I get it Italy; we're going."
"Hey! Stay away from my idiot brother, potato jerk! And get up tomato bastardo! It's lunchtime!"
"…Tomatoes?"
"I could go for a spot of vodka and some beef stroganov."
"Beef stroganov will make a lovely main course for our wedding feast, brother. Don't you think?"
"…"
And soon enough, everyone in the meeting was gone, leaving only Canada and Prussia left. Gilbert stared down at Matthew, a glint in his eyes, until the invisible nation gulped and shuffled uneasily. "Uh, Gil…can you get off me now?"
Prussia studied the younger nation before shrugging and reluctantly getting off of him. Canada exhaled with relief and then got up and stretched.
Gilbert watched him, caught sight of the blonde's shirt riding up to reveal some soft skin, and snickered. "Kesesese~ I can see your ribs, Mattie."
Canada's previously retreating blush returned with a cruel vengeance. "S-shut up, Gil."
"What? It's not my fault you're skinny."
Matthew stared at him in offense and disbelief. "I'm not skinny!"
"Yeah you are! If you had a bit more meat on you, then maybe you would've had a chance at getting the Awesome Me off of you!"
Canada's mouth hung open for a moment before he flushed in annoyance. "What the hell was that even about, eh?! You just sat on me for a couple of hours! Now I know you saw me and I know you heard me when I asked you to get off! So what was your deal?!"
Prussia smirked with amusement and tossed his silvery hair to the side. "What's with all the hostility, Birdie? You should be honored that I deemed you awesome enough to be used as my awesome chair! And from what I can tell, you didn't seem to mind my awesome presence!"
Canada previously pink cheeks became red and he retorted, "I did mind! I don't appreciate being used as a chair!"
Gilbert's smirk stretched to new horizons, and he suddenly closed the distance between him and Matthew. Canada nearly instinctively stepped back at their close proximity, but was stopped when the Prussian snaked an arm around his slim waist, trapping him and pulling him in. Then Prussia slowly leaned down until his mouth was ghosting over the Canadian's ear. "Well, why not? It gave me an excuse to sit on your lap, didn't it?"
A series of shivers electrocuted down Matthew's spine, yet he fought from physically showing it. However, his expression must've given it away because Prussia chuckled knowingly and he pulled away to peer down at his face. "I thought so, but I'll tell you what, Vögelchen—once lunch is over, you can sit on my awesome lap."
"E-eh?!" Canada immediately shook his head and found it in him to pull away, despite the fact that his treacherous body wasn't willing to comply.
Prussia snickered in utter beguilement. "You'll change your mind since you can't resist my awesome charm. But first, let's get the fuck out of here and grab some food; I'm fucking starved! You in, Mattie? The Awesome Me is buying!" For a moment, Gilbert's smile wavered, and he quickly checked his pockets. "Uh…ja, I'm buying! I still have West's credit card!"
Canada could do nothing but stare at the ridiculously handsome guy in front of him with disbelief. He uses me as a chair, makes passes at me, basically turns Kuma against me, embarrasses me in front of the other nations, has me nearly palm him…and yet I'm not angry. I should be angry or upset…why aren't I?!
And yet, despite it all, Canada couldn't find it in him to be hurt, troubled, or unhappy in any way, and instead he found himself smiling in endearment. He wasn't sure, but something about the arrogant, surly, cheeky, dirty-minded, self-proclaimed awesome ex-nation made him feel…unusual in such an extraordinary way; it made him not want to stay angry at Prussia and suddenly any exasperation he felt towards him melted away like cotton candy in a child's mouth.
Damn him and his awesome charm…
"Fine, but only because you're buying and you owe me."
"I owe you?! Mattie, I made your fucking day!"
"Eh, whatever Gil, let's just go." Prussia grinned in triumph, and he threw his arm around Canada's shoulders.
Soon, the two started making their way out of the room and into the hallway of the building. They walked in comfortable silence, enjoying one another's presence, until Prussia decided to speak up: "So Birdie…what was it like getting a feel of my awesome 5 meters-definitely-not-5 millimeters? Pretty fucking spectacular, ja?"
Endearing or not, Matthew wasn't amused, and for the rest of the day, Gilbert sported a red, hand-shaped mark on his face.
"Mein Gott Mattie, you've got fucking strength for a skinny little birdie!"
"Shut up, Gil."
The End
Kesesesese~ never insult the 5 meters XD
So there you have it! I apologize in advance for any OOC-ness and mistakes, but it was completely unintentional.
Well, that's all I got. Thank you to those who read this! Havea nice day! Hasta la pasta~! :D