A/N: So, I now make sure my notebook is near me whenever I talk to my brother, Chase Mihael Keehl. Why? Because we talk about random crap we do or did, and then one of us (usually me) goes, "That'd be an epic one-shot. I'm so writing that." I hate forgetting, so.. notebook. 3 This is yet another concoction that came from one of our convos. Actually, it was the same convo as the one that sparked "Business and Pleasure." Enjoy. 3
Room Inspection
Mello sighed as he stretched across his bed. His muscles were sore from disuse for the past few hours. He closed his eyes and started to drift off. The best thing about a Saturday was that he could nap as he pleased between studying. As his eyes grew heavy, and his body sore, he could just rest a bit, wake up, and start all over.
The door opened with a bang, causing him to sit up fast, his book falling from his chest to the floor. His eyes were wide as he took in his frantic roommate.
"Mello! You aren't going to believe this!" Matt exclaimed, slumping onto his own bed, panting. Mello stared at him a moment.
"What? That you were outside or that you were exercising. Cause both are mildly surprising." Mello smiled as Matt glared and shook his head frantically.
"Roger. He's.. Room inspection." Matt finally managed, opening a Red Bull and downing half of it. Mello's eyes widened.
"What? But he usually gives notice! We haven't cleaned up from the last time.."
"I know!" The red head exclaimed in interruption. They stared at one another for a moment, silently coming to an agreement. Both teenagers jumped up and started grabbing all the clothing they could, tossing them into a clothes hamper. "Fuck, I don't know what's clean or dirty!" Matt yelled, holding up two pairs of lounge pants. Mello grabbed them both and tossed them into the basket.
"Fuck it! All is dirty to be safe!" Mello yelled. Matt nodded, and set back to work. "Fuck! What about the sheets!" He worried. Matt shrugged.
"Strip the beds?" He suggested. Mello shook his head, his blonde hair flying around him.
"It'll just show up on the bed without clean sheets to cover it." He said, opening a drawer they kept spare ones in. "And we have none in here."
"Well these were our emergency sheets last time. We were going to do laundry tonight, remember?" Matt spoke, sitting down on his bed.
We're so fucked." Mello whined, sitting next to Matt. The gamer just nodded his agreement.
Knock knock knock
"Matt? Mello? Open up. Random room inspection." Rogers voice came through the door.
"Random my ass." Mello whispered, getting up to open the door. Matt turned on his DS to look normal, as Mello let the man in. Roger walked in and looked around.
"Hmm. Not as bad as I had expected." Matt bit his lips to avoid laughing. Roger placed his 'inspection kit' on the piles of open books on the desk and opened it. The man was infamous for his detailed inspections. Mello bit his lip and watched as the older man flipped sheets, looked under beds, and in closets.
"This is unnecessary. With our GPAs, you think we're doing drugs or drinking?" Mello tried to distract him, in hopes he'd forget to do the one inspection they feared most. Roger looked at him, but he just leaned against the wall nonchalantly, looking bored. Matt was thanking whatever God existed that Mello was so good under pressure. If it was him, he'd crack. He noted Roger's gaze linger to him for a moment and was glad he was wearing his goggles as well. He continued to press buttons, but in reality didn't even know what game he was playing. Roger then turned back to his kit and pulled out a wand that had a black light attacked. Mello looked at Matt worried as the older man switched the light off, and inspected Mello's bed. It didn't take long for him to see the the stains all over the sheets.
"Mello!" Roger exclaimed.
"What?" The blonde asked innocently. Roger grabbed Matt's arm, and pulled him from his bed, flipping his sheets down, and seeing the same result.
"Matt!" He yelled even louder. Then he took a deep breath and looked around the room. Even the carpet was stained. "Ok.. You're both 16. I understand that it's different today than when I was a kid. Just tell me who the girls are so I can make sure that the nurse puts them on birth control, and we'll get you guys some condoms and everything." Roget spoke, not looking at the pair.
"We can't give you any names, Sir." Matt said, sheepishly. Roger looked at him, finally. His face showed his annoyance.
"Well you didn't make this mess alone." He scrutinized.
"How the hell do you know? We're hormonal teenage boys. We could just masturbate a lot." Mello stated matter of fact, snapping the corner off his freshly unwrapped chocolate bar. Matt snorted into his hand and Roger's eyes popped out of the sockets.
"Mello! Look, I'm not going to punish the girls either. I just want to make sure you're all protected." He groaned, his head falling back for a moment in frustration. "What the? On the ceiling?" He looked back at the boys, pointing to above Matt. Mello laughed as Matt flushed a dark shade of pink.
"Yeah! That was great. Matt was sleeping, and-" Mello snapped his jaw shut. Roger stared at him for a moment, his eyes darting between the closed off blonde and flushed red head. Matt refused to look at him. Slowly, realization dawned on him. Mello saw exactly when it hit him. The man took a deep breath, turned, and started to pack his kit up. When done, he snapped it closed and walked to the door.
"Sir?" Matt asked, wondering if they'd get in trouble. Roger stopped in the doorway, refusing to turn around and look at them.
"I.. Don't know how to deal with this. We'll talk later after I talk to L. He's younger. Maybe he'll have advice." Roger said, leaving the room. Matt and Mello looked at one another again.
"L? He's going to tell L?" Matt started to freak out. They were sure to get in trouble. L would have them separated and given different roommates. Mello smiled and kissed his boyfriend.
"Yep. We're in the clear." Mello laughed. Matt looked at him like he was insane.
"How the fuck can you say that? L practically runs this place. Why aren't you freaking out that it could hurt your chances at being his successor?" Matt all but yelled. Mello rolled his eyes, and picked up a book, as he lounged on his bed.
"Cause I'm not worried it will." He looked at his lover. "L is gay, Matt." Matt's jaw dropped.
"And you know this, how?" He asked. Mello smirked.
"I have my ways." Matt felt a stab of jealousy pierce his heart. Mello must have saw it and rolled his eyes again. "No, Matt. Not like that. I admire the guy, but he's not a pedo, nor am I a grave robber. I was a kid last time I saw him. You are my first and only." Matt relaxed and moved towards him.
"Then, how do you know?" Matt asked again. Mello shrugged.
"Remember when I had you hack the system? There were pictures of him and another man holding hands and kissing in a private file. I think the guy is dead now, though." Mello stated. Matt nodded in acceptance, and slipped onto the bed, pulling the book Mello's nose was stuck in, down.
"You know. When Roger had the light on, I noticed that there was a stain on my ceiling, but not yours. What do you say we try to match it?" A wicked smile played at his lips as his fingers moved up Mello's shirt. The blonde's lips twisted into a matching expression.
"You're on." He said, before pulling Matt into a passionate kiss on top of him.
(-line-)
A month passed, and the routine inspection came. Matt and Mello did their best to clean. When Roger came to their room, he stepped in the doorway, black light in hand. He turned it on, saw the flash of stains, and turned it off. When he turned around to leave, Matt looked at Mello questioningly.
"Roger? What about the inspection?" Mello called with a smirk.
"Screw it. I know you aren't doing any drugs or alcohol." He called, walking away. Mello laughed and closed the door.
"Shit, had I known that'd be the reaction, I would have left the mess years ago. No more inspections, Matty." Mello smiled triumphantly. Matt looked up from his DS to see the blonde crawling up the bed. The DS was pulled from his hands and tossed to the ground as lips crashed to his. "Lets celebrate." Was the last coherent words spoken for a while.
End
A/N: Oh.. The things we come up with.. The original thing we came up with was the last part.. The "next month", but I decided to give it a funny back story.