I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters. I know I should be working on my other piece but this has been swimming in my head for a while. I hope you enjoy!

It had been a longer than normal stay in the hospital this time around. Dean was grumpy and agitated, he was ready to get back on the road and move on. But Sammy had needed rest, and the doctors said he wasn't ready to be released yet. Not that Dead had been either, but he had checked out early of his own free will, even as the doctor chirped in his ear how it was too soon and against his wishes. Yeah, yeah; he really didn't care. Even as his side ached and the concussion blurred his vision and made him sway in his stride, or the stab of broken ribs when he breathed too deep.

And then there was the absence of John shortly after they had arrived, Dean had assumed he had gone to drink off the bad effects of the hunt at a bar, but that had been five days ago now. Although Dean was eighteen years old and completely capable of caring for himself, he still had his brother to look out for. He had been forced to call Bobby on day four and let him know they would be on their way, and to expect them in two days.

The old family friend had accepted their ask for hospitality graciously, and then asked about John. Dean hadn't known what to say, there wasn't a lot to say. John was MIA. This wasn't all together unusual since Dean had turned eighteen and John had gone off more independently, leaving the older sibling to take care of his younger one.

'You alright there bud?' Dean asked as they exited the hospital. Sammy was on crutches and he looked stupid, with his ever growing hulking frame, the small metal appendages that stuck out beneath his lanky arms, looked out place foreign.

'Yeah, will just be good to get to Uncle Bobby's.' Sam looked around then, as they reached the Impala, purring softly where Dean had left it close to the entrance for Sam's sake. 'Where's dad?' His face scrunched up in confusion and Dean's heart sank a little.

He had been able to pass their dads absence away in the hospital that John had been with Sam during the night while he slept, or during the day when he had fallen prey to the painkillers alluring sleep affect.

'Uh, he said he will meet us there in a few days. Had some things he needed to do before he caught back up with us again.' Dean hated having to think on the spot like that, but what choice did he have? Sam and John had been at wars lately, and the last think he needed right now was for his little brother to feel abandoned and like he wasn't worth his fathers' time.

'Sure.' Sam had stopped believing him in the hospital a long time ago, Dean knew that, but a lie was sometimes better than the truth. Plus, it's not like he was deliberately trying to hurt the kid.

In all truth Dean was pissed more than he would ever admit, and he was furious that he felt like this in the first place. Where was their father when they needed him? Fuming he slammed the door of the Impala without realising and apologised when he felt Sam jump beside him. Plans had been forming in his mind for the past few days now, and was planning on using their time at Bobby's to put fuel to thought and work out whether or not that was really what he wanted to do.

Maybe some time with their surrogate father would make things more clear for him.

'Are you okay Dean?' Startled he turned around to face Sam who was staring at him with concern all over those thirteen year old doe eyes. They were still sitting in the car, he hadn't moved yet. Nodding quickly, he put baby in to gear and tore out of the hospital parking lot without a backward glance, even as he silently moaned in pain and envy of his brother with his pain killers and oblivious mind. He was determined to spend as much time in his beloved car as possible. If he could, he would even attempt to make the trip in one hit. Providing it didn't seem like Sam was in too much pain that was, with his broken leg he wouldn't want to be sitting in the car for very long, though Dean was sure he should have been in the backseat laying down rather than sitting shotgun in the front with him.

SPNSPNSPN

By the time they hit Bobby's, after an unwanted stop over at a hotel for the night, Dean would never admit it was for his own benefits but Sam's, they were both rugged and weary and in need of a good hot shower, (or bath for Sam with his broken leg). Their surrogate father met them in the yard and helped them carry in the bags, making light hearted comments about how terrible they both looked and mocking Sam for his broken leg and being on crutches.

It was pleasant and Dean felt himself feeling better almost immediately. They were somewhere where they could be cared for. After his silent ministrations in the car, Dean hadn't realised how much his dads absence at the hospital or in other important parts of his life had been affecting him. He blamed it on his current state of mind, and the thoughts he had been riddled with all week, but it still didn't stop the ache or hollowness of feeling unloved.

For the third time in two days, Dean found himself jumping as he was asked again, if he was okay. This time it was Bobby, who took him by the arm and led him stiffly to the kitchen table as he realised he must have stopped in the doorway. Looking around, he tried to work for how long when he noticed Sam was already spread out comfortably on the sofa with a blanket. Shaking his head he wondered what was going on with himself.

'You alright son?' Bobby asked again, handing Dean a steaming cup of coffee and planting himself on the seat next to him, taking in the haggard appearance and concern laced eyes and the way his lips thinned in deep thought. On Dean, who was usually such a free radical this was a concerning sign.

'Yeah, just had a lot on my mind Bobby. Can't tell you how much it means for you to have us here right now.' Dean sank back in to the chair, resting the coffee cup on the table and sinking his head down to his arms where he rested them, folded beside the untouched cup.

Worry spiked in Bobby straight away, this wasn't right, something must be terribly wrong for the oldest Winchester son to be breaking down like this. When he noticed the shake to the shoulders, and heard the low sounds of hitched breathing, Bobby froze.

A moment later Bobby jumped in to the action and stood, resting an arm across Dean's shoulder and comforting the eighteen year old silently as a hand unlaced from its hooked position and grasped his shirt. Leaning over from the pulling weight, Bobby was further shocked when Dean leant in to him and cried hard. Had something happened to John, was Sam terminally ill?

They didn't notice Sam standing shocked in the doorway, he had never seen Dean break down like this. But it wasn't all surprising as his brother had been acting strange all week.

'Dean is something wrong with dad that you haven't been telling me?' Both older men startled and pulled away from each other awkwardly, Dean wiped violently at his eyes and cursed as he looked away. 'Dean?'

'No Sammy, Jo-Dad is fine. He is just away I told you that.' Dean stood up and headed for the staircase, all intent on ending the conversation suddenly. He hadn't planned on Bobby telling Sam to go sit back down and that he would be through in a moment as he followed Dean out of the room. Dean suddenly felt himself being steered towards the man's office.

'Dean Winchester you sit down and tell me what's going on right now?' He demanded.

Dean looked up at him through tear drooped lashes that shone above oceanic green eyes that swam with emotion.

'I need your help Bobby.' The words were barely choked back before more sobs coursed through the young man.

'With what son?' Bobby rummaged around; he knew he had tissues in this room somewhere.

'Disappearing off the radar, I can't keep living this life Bobby. Sam can't keep living this fucking life! I want out, I want away!'

What do you think? Should I keep going?