It's raining
Gloomy dark gray
As I sit here
By the window
Watching the water
Make rivers down
The glass
Matching what my
Tears are doing
Down my cheeks
Every time it rains
I remember him
Remember his smile
The twinkling vibrant
Beautiful laughter
That rolled out his mouth
Remember his voice
Deep but light somehow
I can still hear him
Still hear the soft sweet
Melodies that poured
So effortlessly
Off his tongue
I can still sense
His warmth
His presence
Beside me, behind me
Surrounding me
Every time it rains
I remember his last
Day with me
'Come on, Taichi!'
You laughed
Giddy and cheerful
Urging me on with
Sparkling eyes
The color of the ocean
'Don't be such a baby!'
You shake wet hair
Out of your face
Golden silk strands
Flopping wetly around
You look so
Childlike
So innocent
So happy
Standing in the rain
In the middle of the street
As if for just a
Fleeting moment
You've forgotten
All the horrors
Of your past
I am filled
In that moment
With such an
Intense
Passionate
Fierce
Emotion
That it burns me inside
'Hurry up!'
You stamp your foot
Impatient
Full lips pursed
In a full-tilt
Pout
And your eyes
Those seducing
Brilliant blue eyes
Plead with mine
I sigh and
Unable to resist that look
Reluctantly
Allow your slender hands
To pull me out
Of my warm, dry
Home
And into the rain
Where we wander
Hand in hand
And then we stop
And I'm surprisingly warm
Or maybe that's
Just because
Your arms are around me
Holding me close
Lips against mine
Murmuring words of
Love
Sweet tasting of you
My reward
For following
So lost am I
In your taste
Under your fingertips
Holding my waist
Caressing me softly
Burning me with your touch
That I completely
Forget the
Dangers of
Standing in the rain
Seduced by your presence
That day
In the rain
I remember the
Disgusted shouts
Then a bang
I remember being
Knocked to the
Ground
Hard and unforgiving
He was on top
Shaking
Whimpering
I sat up and
He slid off
Clutching his slim
Muscular belly
A dark red
Something
Seeping between
His long fingers
I can still feel
The way my
Heart stopped breathing
And the way
My stomach clenched
I screamed
Desperately
For help
But no one heard
There was no
Time
So I cradled his
Beautifully perfect
Head
In my arms
His thin frame
Lying in my lap
Curled towards me
Hair tickling my throat
Like always
After we'd made love
I can still hear his
Gasps for breath
Still hear his
Ragged whispering
His last words to me
'I love you.'
'I love you.'
'Don't forget me.'
'Be happy.'
'Don't give up.'
I still know the time
Of his last breath
Four fifty eight
P.M.
I remember the way
I choked at first
And then the way I sobbed
Rocked his body
Back and forth
Crying into his
Already soaked hair
Like he had done
So many times before
I refused to let go
When someone found us
Held on to his body
I can still see the
Dark river of blood
Staining the gray concrete
I remember
The rainy day
When my world stopped
When the love of
My life was killed
The heavens were
Crying already
Crying for his pain
And now, when they open up
To release a fresh torrent
Of tears
I shake off the
Mask, the façade
I keep around my heart
I allow those walls to
Crumble
And I weep with the
Rain.