My take in what will be a flood, I'm sure.
FRAME: MISSING SCENES
"You're free, Bobby. You're free."
Staring through the one way mirror into the interrogation room, Alex Eames thought she'd never heard such cruel and ironic words. Declan Gage knew nothing about her partner if he thought Bobby Goren would be free after his mentor's actions and revelations. If anything, Bobby would feel greater guilt about his brother's death. He'd even feel responsibility for Nicole Wallace's death. Alex had watched as Bobby masterfully turned from the interrogated to the interrogator. Even in the midst of great pain, Bobby maintained his mastery in that room.
"All right, Eames," Ross said, not unsympathetically. "We've got more than enough from Gage. Let's get your partner out of there."
"Yes, Sir." Alex hesitated. "Sir, could you get someone else to put the cuffs on Gage? I don't want Bobby to do it, and I'm…I'm just too angry."
"It will give me a great deal of pleasure to arrest him," Ross said, pulling out his cuffs. "You take care of your partner."
Alex followed Ross and two uniforms into the interrogation room. Gage's attention was on Bobby, who sat motionless across from his mentor. Ross pulled Gage to his feet and recited the doctor's rights. The Captain cuffed Gage and handed him off to the two uniforms. Alex slipped past the three men into the room.
"Good job, Detective," Ross said. "But I think you should keep some space between yourself and this case for a while."
Bobby tilted his head towards Ross. "I…I don't want to be anywhere near this case any more, Captain."
Ross nodded. "I can understand that. Both of you…Get out of here…Take a couple of days…We'll deal with the paperwork."
"Thank you," Alex said, her eyes focused on her partner.
"Captain." Bobby's soft voice stopped Ross just as the captain opened the door. "Thank you…I…I'm sorry. My remarks about Dr. Rodgers. I had no right. You're both professionals. Through all of this, you've both acted perfectly professionally and ethically. Your private lives are none of my business. You both bent over backwards to protect me. I'm sorry."
Ross turned. Bobby remained seated and facing away from the captain. "Apology accepted, Detective," Ross said evenly. "I understand that you were upset…You had every right to be upset. Now…get out of here…Try to get some rest."
"C'mon, Bobby," Alex said gently.
Bobby rose slowly. "I…I have to do something…"
"I'm going with you," Alex declared.
He didn't argue with her, and she wordlessly followed him to the morgue. One of Rodgers' assistants examined Bobby warily, but seemed reassured by Alex's presence. The young woman directed them to Rodgers' office. Bobby usually entered with only a cursory knock on the door, but this time he knocked slowly and deliberately and waited for Rodgers' "Come in" before he entered the room. He hovered just inside the door and stood awkwardly. He held his binder like a shield in front of his body and stared at the floor.
"I'm sorry," he finally said. "I…I understand why you told Ross. I…I had no right…To invade your place of work…To interrupt an autopsy. It was unconscionable. I'm sorry. And what I said…about your private life…That was completely wrong…I'm sorry." He shifted from one foot to the other.
Stunned, Rodgers stared up at Bobby. "Well, Detective," she finally said. "I'm not the one to criticize another person's lack of people skills."
Bobby relaxed slightly.
"I…I understand why you were angry," Rodgers continued. "I felt it was in everyone's interest…Including yours…I didn't take revealing the test's existence lightly."
Bobby finally met Rodgers' gaze. "I hope you'll let me back in the morgue if I promise to behave myself?"
"I'll slap your hands if you mess with any of the bodies," Rodgers said. "But I'll let you back in."
"Thank you," Bobby said. "It's more than I deserve. Thank you."
He walked silently from the M.E.'s office to the elevator. He stood rubbing the back of his neck as he waited for the car.
"Bobby?" Alex asked gently.
"I…I don't know what to do," he confessed. "I'm so tired all of a sudden. I'm so tired." He glanced at Alex, and the pain in his eyes stunned her. "I'm sorry, Eames…So sorry…I…through all of this you've stood by me…Believed me…I…"
"It's ok," Alex said quickly. "You want to make it up to me, you let me help you."
The door opened, and they stepped into an empty elevator.
"Frank," Bobby said as Alex punched the button for the parking garage. "I don't know what to do."
Alex realized that through all of this case, Bobby had had to deal with the details of his brother's death.
"He…He was cremated," Bobby said as he stared at the floor numbers. "His ashes…They're still at the funeral home. I don't know…What should I do? Should I have a memorial service? Would anyone come? I…I don't know how to get in touch with anyone…" The car reached the garage, and Alex and Bobby stepped out. "I don't even know if there is anyone…Donnie… I don't even know if he knows…Evelyn knows, but she doesn't know where Donnie is…She's told me she wouldn't come to anything…I don't know if Donnie would if he knew."
Bobby didn't notice that Alex subtly guided him towards her car. "I don't know what to do with his ashes," Bobby continued. "I don't want them…They're the last thing I want…"
"It sounds like Frank is causing almost as much trouble in death as he did in life," Alex said. "I bet you paid for the cremation."
"I…I couldn't just let his body go…"
They arrived at Alex's car. "C'mon," she said. "I'll drive you home."
"You don't have to…"
"Bobby," Alex said patiently. "I'm not going to leave you alone right now. Discussion closed."
He slipped into the passenger seat without further protest.
"Could you bury his ashes next to your mother?" Alex asked gently as she maneuvered her car from the garage.
"There…there may be some space," Bobby answered. "I…I should have thought of that. I'm slipping as much as Declan…"
Alex slammed on the brakes. "No!" she shouted. "No! You are nothing like Declan Gage! Nothing!" She took a deep breath and resumed driving the car out of the garage. Bobby stared at her in shock.
"I'm hungry," Alex said after several moments. "And I don't suppose you have anything in your apartment."
Bobby briefly considered telling Alex that he hadn't invited her to his apartment, but he knew they were long past the need for invitations to either's home. "I…I don't think there's much there…I…I haven't been home for much more than sleeping lately."
"What do you want? Chinese…Pizza… Or how about some tacos from that great little storefront on your street?"
"Whatever you want is fine, Eames."
"Tacos it is," Alex said cheerfully. "And I'm buying…I know what your finances are like."
As they approached his door, Bobby tried to remember what state his apartment was in. He hadn't paid much attention to it in recent weeks—or was it months—moving through it only to collapse on his bed.
"It looks better than I expected," Alex surveyed the main room.
"I don't want to think about what you expected," Bobby said as he searched for clean plates. "It's bad enough."
"Just needs a good dusting." Alex flopped on his couch. "I paid for dinner. I expect to be served."
"Yes, ma'am." Bobby produced clean plates and silverware and served the dinner. To his surprise, Bobby devoured several tacos and realized he couldn't remember when he'd last eaten anything. He studied Alex as she juggled a particularly unruly taco.
"Eames," he asked softly. "Why are you here?"
Alex brushed crumbs from her hands. "You're my partner. Don't want to have to train a new one."
"Eames…Seriously… All the stuff I've pulled. All the trouble I've caused you…You've got a target on your back because of me…
"We've been through all of this," Alex said patiently.
"I know…but of all the people…You're the one…The one…" Bobby ran a large paw across the back of his neck. "The one I could…can…trust… Dec was right…Everyone I trusted…should have been able to trust…I always tried to help them…But they never…Never loved me…But you…You're always there for me…And I just hurt you…"
"Bobby." Alex rose from the couch, took a step, and dropped to her knees in front of Bobby. "Gage got a lot…most…things wrong…But he got at least one thing right. He said I care deeply about my partner…And I do." She rested her hands on his knees.
"For God's sake, why?" He held his head in his hands.
Alex placed her hands over his. Carefully and gently she pulled his hands away and placed her hands at the sides of his face. His eyes were tightly shut.
"Bobby…Open your eyes…Please…"
His eyes blinked open, and Alex could barely hold their gaze. Pain and fear and loneliness flooded from them, and she saw tears brimming in them.
"You are a good man," she said. "You told me once that the test of who and what a person are are what he or she does. Not what they say they are, not what they think they are, but what they do. Everything I've seen you do…It says you're a good man."
"But…but if I'm good, why didn't they see it?" Bobby pleaded. "My Mom…Frank…other cops…I try…I try to do the right thing…I do…But…Why can't they see it?"
"I see it, Bobby," Alex said firmly. "Deakins saw it. I think Carver saw it when you weren't making him crazy. Even in the middle of her illness, I think your Mom saw it. As much as I hate him, I think Gage sees it, and that had something to do with what he did. Part of him may have really wanted to save you because you're good. Nicole saw it, and it's one of the reasons—maybe the reason—why she hated you. Rodgers sees it. It's why she tried to protect you. Why she didn't make a big deal when you busted into the morgue. Ross sees it. It's why he's gone to bat for you."
Bobby shivered. He leaned forward so that his forehead rested against Alex's. The contact soothed him. "In spite…In spite of everything…You think I'm good?" he asked plaintively. "In spite of my going undercover…Everythin g I've done to you…my father…"
"Brady was no more your father than he was mine," Alex snorted.
"But…Frank…Frank is…was…a lot like the man I thought was my father…"
"From what you've told me that man had very little to do with raising you and a lot with Frank," Alex said. "Look, I don't know why or how, but you beat the odds. You're a good man. I trust you. I trust you with my nephew, the most valuable, important thing in my life…next to you…and I still do."
Bobby shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He wrapped his arms around Alex, and they held each other in silence for several minutes.
"I…I didn't tell you about Brady," Bobby finally said. "Because I didn't want to say anything until I knew. For a long time, I didn't want to know, and then…when I did...There just wasn't a good time to say, "Oh, by the way, Eames. The drunken, womanizing, abusive gambler I though was my father…Not him…My biological father was a serial killer and rapist…" He jerked away from Alex's arms and lurched to his feet. "Dec was right…He…the man I thought…He must have sensed or known I wasn't his…Frank picked up on it…And my Mom…Every time she looked at me…She saw the man…The man who…" Bobby choked.
Alex rose and rushed to him. Grabbing his shoulders, she forced him to look at her. "I understand why you didn't tell me. Now…C'mon…You're about to collapse. You need some rest."
"You…You're staying?" Bobby mumbled. "Of course you're staying…You're Alex…"
He allowed her to guide him to his bed and offered no protests as she helped him remove his shirt, shoes, and socks.
"I…I'm ok, Eames…You don't have to…"
"I'd like to stay," she said. "Unless you don't want me to."
Bobby stared at the floor. "Right now…there's nothing I want more than for you to stay."
Alex felt ridiculously triumphant. "You got something I could wear…"
"Any of my old T-shirts…And you can have the bed…I can take the couch…"
"After Jo kidnapped me, how many times did you hold me in my bed when I was scared?"
Bobby stared at the floor. "That…that hasn't happened for a while…I'm sorry…I haven't helped you…"
"It's ok," Alex said. "We're here for each other now." She found one of Bobby's old Army T-shirts. "I'll be back."
She disappeared into the bathroom, leaving an exhausted and confused Bobby. When she returned, he lay on his back under a sheet and blanket.
"Hey," Alex said softly. "How you doing?" She sat on the edge of the bed.
"It's so strange," he murmured. "All my life…At least for as long as I can remember…I've had all these…These worries…These thoughts in my head."
Alex carefully stretched out beside him.
"My Mom…Frank…Nicole… Donnie…" He turned his head to look at her, and Alex saw his great, dark, sad eyes in the dim light. "You…"
Alex pulled up the sheet and blanket and slipped beneath them. She saw that Bobby had shed his clothes down to his boxers.
"Do you really think she's dead?" Bobby whispered.
"Yes," Alex said. "Although if anyone could live without a heart…"
Bobby smiled weakly. "I'm sorry I freaked out…I was so sure it was Donnie's heart…And Nicole…she's gotten away so many times…"
"I know what you mean." Alex turned on her side to face him. "It took me a while to believe it too. But she's gone."
Bobby also turned on his side so that he faced Alex. "She…she's been in my head for so long…I've been wondering where she was…What she was doing…Who she was hurting…Killing… Because of me…And…now…tonight… I don't have to worry about her."
Alex tenderly touched his chin.
"I just started getting used to the idea that I'm not going to get a phone call in the middle of the night to tell me my Mom needs me. I still don't know what to do with the Saturdays and Sundays I get off."
"I've had reports you spend a lot of those at Major Case," Alex said.
"Yea…There…The library…Trying to find Donnie…" He took a deep breath. "And now…now…I don't have Frank to worry about. Even after I told him…Told him that if he jumped from a bridge, I'd listen for the splash…I thought about him. I called him that last time because I remembered him telling me he took care of me."
"Do you remember him doing that?" Alex asked. "Or do you just have what he told you?"
"I know," Bobby said. "I know…But…But there's a chance there's some truth in what he told me…"
"That's you," Alex said. "Always trying to see…believe…the best in someone…"
"Have to wonder how bright I really am." Bobby cautiously touched Alex's cheek. "Now…I don't have Frank to worry about. Dec was wrong when he said I'm free…I'll never be free of the past. I don't think you're supposed to be free of the past." His hand began to gently move through her hair. "Funny…I didn't know Dec had a new book out…I keep up with the literature…"
Alex thought of the many books with coldly terrifying titles that filled Bobby's shelves and covered his desk.
"Dec's reputation has fallen so far that I didn't see any reviews. I suppose all of this will help the book's sales."
"Maybe that was the real motive," Alex said angrily. "It certainly wasn't to help you."
"It certainly wasn't to "engage" me." Bobby was dispassionate. "I think I was already back to being "engaged"…Of course, it wasn't with Dec…He was trying to get me to engage with him." His hand stopped roving through her hair. "He's certainly jealous of you."
"I can live with that," Alex said. She brushed Bobby's cheek.
"He…He wasn't always like this," Bobby said. "He was a good man…I think…It may have started with his wife's suicide…And for a long time, he was the only man in the field. No one challenged him…In his work or as a person…No one could or would…No one forced him to be better." Bobby's hand resumed roaming through Alex's hair. "You…You do many wonderful things for me, Alex…But one of the most important…You challenge me…In my work and as a human being…You make me better…You make me want to be better…"
"You…you do the same for me," Alex said. "You make me better. And I like the person you make me."
Bobby smiled and rolled on his back. "It's going to take some time for me to get used to having fewer worries. Although there's still enough. I'm not going to shake all this off…There's that thing in my desk…Donnie…You…" He glanced at her.
Alex carefully moved so that her head rested on his chest. His skin was warm and soft. "I take up a lot of space?"
"You've always taken up most of it."
She hugged him, and his fingers wove through her hair.
"Alex…Could you…It's been a long time since…Since anyone…Please… Could you hold me?"
"Of…of course." Alex's heart fought to stay in one piece as she shifted so that Bobby nested in her arms.
"Thank you," he whispered. "I…I'm glad you're here."
"I'm glad I'm here too."
END