Ashes
T.V. Show: House M.D.
Pairing: Chase/Cameron
Author: Foxes's Dreams
Summary: Is one year too much? Are two years lethal? After three years, everything comes to a conclusion, the universe stops spinning. Chase and Cameron face their demons in the aftermath of House's death. Post 8x22 "Everybody dies".
I've been doing it myself
But now I need some help
Ain't nobody, know me better than you know me
I don't wanna drown
I don't wanna drown tonight
Chase knew deep down it was a mistake, like returning to the past that had pained him badly. The chosen cafe was a miniature, a few colorless, dull painting hanging loosely on every wall. Folding the napkin in front of him with strange dexterity, he was trying to convince himself this was the right thing to do. The aquarium at his left was obnoxiously shiny, his temples started to throb painfully.
He was meeting with Cameron. Was he that crazy? So crazy to dissolute himself in a rendezvous with his ex-wife? Maybe just pitifully hopeful, like a sudden twist of fate could bring him some alleviation. Not the destiny, but Cameron could do that, even in the years of despair and acute loneliness that scarred him. Even the vision of her could.
The sorely grey roots of his hair were a tangled mess, his beard unshaved and his arms quivering.
The loud click of some stiletto heels startled him. He was supposed to mourn House passing away. This was an ultimate chance, a trim drop of hope rushing through his veins. Chase turned his head sideways, his eyes transfixing her completely. Her form looked sickly slim, her black outfit hanging loosely especially around her hips. Cameron fell on the chair next to him with a loud thump.
Her eyes were bloodshot, it was obvious that the death of their mentor had affected her deeply, like she was served another punch in the gut. Despite the unfolding tragedy, for Chase, she was beautiful, like she had always been.
"What did you want to talk about?" She asked voraciously, leaning her back against the hard wood.
"You're back in Princeton," Chase gulped dryly, "I thought we should take advantage of that," He sighed.
"Most divorced couples ignore each other," Cameron spat back, folding her arms against the hem of her shirt. Her eyes filled with raw tears again, instantly regretting the acidity of her words.
"We don't fall in that category," Chase said and pondered. "No divorced couple sleeps together after signing the papers," He jabbed cautiously. Cameron's gaze shifted from anger to some succumbed acceptance in just a second.
At that moment, the waiter delivered her coffees, the aroma of the steam partially relaxing them. This situation resembled a usual morning spent at home, with wandering fingers and happy squeals. Such days were long gone.
"Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been this mean," Cameron whispered, wrapping her palms around the side of the marble cup. "It's just – House's suicide was the last thing I expected. I knew he had problems, but taking his own life is a completely different matter."
Chase let out a strangled sob. Seeing her in such a state distressed him as well. His mind instantly wandered to the moment they shared just hours ago. Him grabbing her hips firmly, tangling his arms around her trembling back was just mesmerizing. The sparkling electricity was still intense, even after long years of separation.
"Hey, I understand. I'm in the same situation as you," Chase replied, nervously hitting her fist against the wooden surface. "I just wanted to see you in particular. You know you have always been able to calm me," He confessed in one single breath, his heart pulsing and pounding against his sternum.
"Chase, please," Cameron begged, deep down knowing she wouldn't be capable to resist such soothing, sugary words.
"All I ask for is to hear me out," Chase said curtly and sternly. "I know everything - you getting remarried, having a baby. It's normal. I try to be happy for you. But I don't want you to leave without knowing that I'll always love you, no matter what," He concluded, sweat sliding down the side of his neck, limbs twitching with no control.
"Robert, the point here is," Cameron said, avoiding his piercing gaze and supporting her throbbing temples with the rigidity of one of her palms. "It's impossible for us to have anything, and you know that. That doesn't mean the feeling isn't there," She explained, loudly sipping a great gulp of cappuccino. The taste was bittersweet, overwhelming.
"You feel the same, really?" Chase inquired nervously. His pupils dilated in that second, immense dozes of adrenaline rushing through his whole body.
"I already said that," Cameron said, biting her upper lip. The pallor in her face drained, a rosy color replacing the ghastly whiteness.
"Say it, don't avoid it," Chase challenged, the corner of his ardent lips curving slightly.
"I can't," Cameron said brokenly, the syllables crumbling on her tongue. She knew, deep down that her confession was reckless and somehow late, but it was a clear necessity. The pouring rain outside and its intoxicating, earthy scent was just too much to handle.
"Why?" Chase asked again. He was on the verge of despair, clinging onto every detail for dear life.
"Because, if I do this, I won't ever be able to go back to the life that I have," She answered carefully, waiting for the slightest of a reaction.
"Yeah, I know. I should let you leave, then," Chase said, shooting his eyebrows up in a pointless effort to wisp away the fact that his soul was crumbling, turning into minuscule ashes and vanishing. He would never be the same.
He led Cameron to the main entry and before leaving –actually disappearing from his tumultuous life- she grasped the very end of his fingers and squeezed them forcefully, imprinting herself on his warm skin.
That's all he was left with. A ghostly touch, the barest sparkle of tears in her pupils, a nod and the view of her tensed back evaporating on the humid street, amongst the constricted crowd.
Author's Note: Happy birthday to me! Here's a small one-shot in order to celebrate all together!
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