Disclaimer I don't own Total Drama
Worlds Apart
I knew it would be the last time I saw him. Tears stream from my eyelids again. "How could he do this to me?" I shout from the shadowed corner I lie in, my legs against my bulging chest. "How could he do this to me?" I repeat, he left me for dead. Images of the Mohawk haired delinquent flooded me like a stream, memories flew through my head, one of them recent.
"Madam" a booming baritone said, the life in his eyes was long dead, he looked nothing like the father figure he was to me "I am afraid you have canceer". My eyes darted to the floor, along with my legs, "You have eight months to live." The additional information was a bombshell that smashed the remains of my broken heart. I had lost hope, my boyfriend had already cheated on me with that goth freak, a light suddenly shined towards me, "Your soon to be born daughter has two options, being aborted or being placed into an orphanage." My memory abruptly ended as a thought flooded through my veins.
"I regret nothing!" I shout to the mirror, reflecting back the worn, dew covered face I barely recognized as my own. It was seven months since that day now; Hikari will live on, even without me. The passion I felt thinking those words shocked me, I had no chance, no chance, not even remotely. "That gothic cheater was my friend, how could she do this to me, betray me?" My yells fall on deaf ears; no one cares anymore, my friends left in my time of need. A familiar urge encompassed my body, dragging me to the bathroom.
Vomit filled the floor, I was too late, the horrific substance glared at me, yelling "This is how you will spend the rest of your days." I shake my head. The illusions never left, everything glared at me judgingly, just like them, all of them, I walk to the shattered photo frame, I had long since repressed memories of them but as hard as I try they would always resurface, back to that day. March 14th 2014.
It was a dark day; of course Gwen loved it. The me from my memories walked over to her. Mid-walk I try my hardest to grab her, "She betrayed you" I yell. I couldn't stop it. The memory didn't stop, although I was frozen like a freeze-frame. Funny I'd always say "The world doesn't wait for you, if you leave the world it will go on. Perhaps that is why on the inside I myself feel like a traitor for using Gwen's philosophies.
I ponder whether or not that was the reason why he left me, I always was quick-tempered, I always tried to stop him. I briefly sigh; he probably thought that I was trying to change him. That I can't blame him for, I was never good at expressing emotions. I only cared about him, I didn't want him to go back to juvenile hall, I wanted him to stay here. With me. I thought he knew me, that there was a caring person underneath that tough exterior. I was wrong. My tears continue to fall, the memory had long since progressed, the last time Duncan and I kissed, I couldn't stop the memory version of myself, my loud protests were all but heeded. I think I see Gwen around the corner; I steel my nerves as they walk into each other, staring at each other the way I stared at him. For the next few moments I could only see one thing, Duncan and Gwen passionately kissing, the waterfall that was building up in my eyes threatens to leak, the dam finally collapsed when Gwen winked at me. That single action, that single everyday gesture caused me to begin screaming, the agony in my voice clear, the memory is dissipating around me.
"Ring!" the worn out receiver phone shouted, after a moment's hesitation pick it up, the voice saying "It is nearly time to give birth." I picture the man who said those words, his baritone sending me into hysterics, he sounds so much like him. I wipe my tears as bittersweet reminiscence eclipsed my spirit, He was my one and only and I was supposed to be his. I look down at my hand; the ring I wore was supposed to be a symbol of our love, now it is but a symbol of the past. The inscription it bore as always read "To my princess, I will always love you." This last item brought my memory of that day to life.
"Courtney now and forever I will stand by your side, through rich and poor, through life and death". Rather than standing at the alter with my memory self I sit I third aisle, the church was very familiar. This was where we got married, where we were supposed to at least, I look at my tattered wedding dress. I've been wearing it since the day I'm now watching, through my entire depression. The tears in my memory selves' eyes unlike those I've shed over the last seven months, those were tears of joy which would only last one more moment. "Duncan, do you accept Courtney as your lawfully wedded wife?" asks the vicar. The heartless delinquent responded "I do…. NOT!" The passion and hatred in his tone was that of a tiger yet, his heart was an ice statue. The next sentence he uttered shook me deeply, destroying my self-confidence and belief.
"Courtney, You are nothing, you shouldn't even be allowed to breathe. You should do one thing and one thing alone, drop dead and believe me that would benefit everyone and thing!" In my memory I ran off, I think. I can't see anything; even now my tears fall for him. A dagger shot through my chest, Hikari is coming.
I begin screaming to the guards outside my asylum "I'm going to give birth; I demand to be taken to the hospital." The guards grabbed me and took me there as I felt the pain encompassing me, destroying me. Moments later Hikari Gwendolyn Ramiro entered the world. My tears however are refusing to disperse, I have ten minutes, just like with my mother and father, Hikari would never know her parents other than through inheritance.
I grab her and softly sing in her ear "I'll be there when times are bleak, even when you cannot speak, you're they ray of hope that I have held onto, I believe in you." My singing ends as I look at the clock 2:56, minutes left. For the last time in my life I succumb to reminiscence, back to the day I was born.
"Courtney, although you will never know me I will always love you, live on in my place and never let go of your dreams." The soft soothing, loving voice speaks as I think. 'Mummy, I am so sorry'
The memory fades to black, daughter in my arms, my body is slowly collapsing. My ring is around Hikari's small, fragile fingers, "You are my last hope Hikari" my energy is slowly fading as I lie against the floor "Never give up Hikari, never give up on your dreams." I know I failed my mum but I know you won't Hikari. You will be the light of another's world just like you are mine. "Find the right person for both our sakes" As my arms give up I see one final, beautiful thing, my daughter's smile. As my world turns to black I use my last energy to smile. Everything fades as one final thought echoes through my head 'Hikari, I will always be there with you, like a good mother should but… Hikari and I are worlds apart.
A/N I know there is OOC but this takes place during an AU where Tyler doesn't speak up about Duncan and Gwen kissing. Please review and thank you for reading my one shot.