BPOV:

Today was my first day back…my first day back at Forks High School. The one place that I actually knew I could be away from him. Ever since last year, my life has been run for me by my boyfriend, Jacob Black. He lived down in La Push, and went to school on the reservation. I moved out here my junior year from Phoenix to live with my dad Charlie. And that's when I met him…

He wasn't always like this. At first, Jacob was the sweetest, most interesting person I had ever met. I could talk to him about things that I couldn't talk about with anyone else. We had an automatic connection when we first started hanging out in his make-shift garage, drinking warm sodas while he worked on his car.

Eventually, we came to the conclusion that we wanted to be more than friendsand that's when everything changed.

The first couple of months were amazing. We took walks down on the beach in La Push, went cliff diving, and he even taught me how to ride a motorcycle. But then he started to call me all the time, wondering where I was and who I was with. Then he would get mad when I went out without him, and told me that if I loved him, I shouldn't be hanging out with anyone but him.

I was so head over heals for Jacob at the time that I didn't even notice how he was slowly ruining my life. I stayed home all the time, distanced myself from my friends and family, and obeyed whatever Jacob told me to do.

Bella became non-existent. I wasn't myself anymore, only what Jacob wanted me to be. I was his slave, but somehow he still had me hooked.

His controlling nature is his only flaw. Jacob really is a sweet guy, who would never even think about laying a hand on me or cheating. He sings to me, and write me poems, and treat me like a queen, but only if I obey his rules. If I don't, he starts fights and yells and punches walls. I guess you could say he has another flaw toohis temper.

Jacob has these rules about what I can and cannot do, which quite frankly is ridiculous. I can only wear jeans and t-shirts that come all the way up to my neck. I'm not allowed to wear any make-up, jewelry, or skirts. I'm only allowed to sit with girls at lunch or in class, and I can't talk to any guys, no matter what the circumstances are. I can't go out without him, or leave the house without calling him to let him know where I'll be. Unfortunately, I'm still forcing myself to follow these rules.

I know how this sounds. You're probably thinking, "Why does she even both with this guy? Just leave him and get on with your life!" But, it's not that simple. You see, when Jacob and I were in the beginning of our relationship, I promised him that we would be together forever, and that we'd get married right after high school was over.

Jacob took this VERY seriously. To this day, he is still convinced that we're going to get married right after high school and move away from everyone so we can be isolated forever. Little does he know how I daydream everyday about leaving him and moving to the city where I could pursue my dreams as an artist.

There's one more reason why I can't leave him though. He once told me that I was the only person he ever wanted to be with, and that if I ever left him, he would kill himself. I care about him so much that I could never bear to have him do that over me, especially because I knew he would.

Jacob isn't the type to mess around with that stuff, so I realized that if I ever left him, he would end up dead because of me…and I could not deal with that.

It was just the beginning of this summer when I realized how much my feelings had changed. I realized how much I wanted to be free and live my own life without Jacob. But at the same time, I realized that I couldn't leave him without it ending in disaster.

So here I am, on my first day of senior year, praying that I'll somehow muster up the courage this year to finally end things with Jacob and start over…and that's when I saw him…