Hi, people! I'm back! I just read this great book called "I Heart You," you haunted me and I wanted to make the Host Club version of it, so yeah. If you read it then cool. (It's the exact same thing but with a new name and new lines.) Well, hope you guys like it.

Some Bonds Can't Be Broken

I've never been to a funeral until today. I see dazzling arrangements of red, yellow, and purple flowers with long, green stems. I see a stained-glass window with a white dove; a yellow sun; a blue sky. I see a gold cross standing tall, shiny, brilliant. And I see black… black dresses, pants, shoes, bibles. Everything – black. Black was my favorite color, but now I hate that color. I remember Tamaki asking me about my favorite color once.

"Haruhi, why don't you like pink, blue, or yellow?"

"I love black – it suits me," I'd said.

"Yeah, but I suit you better," Tamaki had said.

And then he'd kissed me. I'm not sure if I would like or see the color black again. And then, beyond the flowers, beneath the stained-glass window, beside the cross, I could see a white casket, and I also see red, burning love disappearing forever. My dad reaches over and pulls my hand from my mouth, where I chew on the little flap of skin along the side of my thumb, since I have no long nails left to chew on. An ugly habit of mine I'd promised Tamaki I would break. I wonder… do you have to keep a promise to your dead boyfriend?

My dad still holds my hand in his as the music starts to play. Then Tamaki's smiling face appears on the screen as we all hear Eric Clapton's haunting song, Tears in Heaven. It was not long before tears in heaven make their way to my eyes, so just for a minute, I close them, thinking to myself this can't be true. It was just like yesterday – I'd been in his car by his side as the music played. I kicked off my shoes, and put my bare feet on the dashboard and put my hand into his.

"Never leave me, okay?"

"Okay," he'd said to me.

Then he'd squeezed my hand, like we were sealing a deal. My gaze returns to the beautiful boy on the screen while my thumb returns to my mouth, picking at it again. He broke his promise, so does that mean I can break mine? The minister's strong voice rings though my ears as he speaks.

"It is hard when a young life is tragically cut short, but we must celebrate the life that was Tamaki's. Look around, friends and family who loved Tamaki Suoh, ever so you will keep the memory of him alive and forever in our hearts."

His words made me feel as if I was all alone, and there was no one to go to for help. But even so, there's one memory that floods my mind every five minutes. It reminds me over, over, and over again why the one I love… was gone. Memories might keep him alive, but they might kill me. After the service was over, people got in line to tell his family "I'm sorry," "He was so young," and "Let me know if there is anything I can do to help." I'm one of the first people in line because I just want to get it over with. His mom is there and I try to say "I'm sorry" like I'm supposed to, but the words won't come out of my mouth like they're supposed to. She looks at me, and I feel her eyes piercing my heart, making it hurt even more.

She probably blames me like I blame myself. I can't blame her for that. She tries to smile. Then she asks politely with no feeling, because she has to say something, "Are you okay, Haruhi?"

I nod, but inside, my heart is screaming, crying, kicking, stomping. It was throwing a tantrum, like a little two-year-old, because I am definitely not at all okay. She hugs me, a quick hug, a fake hug. An "I'm-only-hugging-you-because-I-don't-know-what-el se-to-do" hug. Next, I hug the people Tamaki loved the most: his grandma, then his dad. I tell myself to be strong and not to cry. I sob into Tamaki's dad's black jacket.

"Shhhhhhhhhh… You're going to get through this," he whispers in my ear.

Just like Tamaki's dad, to think about me and not himself.

After that, I stand alone and wait for my dad so we can just get out of here. There is no line of people coming up to me saying "I'm sorry," or "He was so young," or "Let me know if there is anything I can do to help." It feels like everyone is looking at me. What are they thinking? Do I even want to know what they're thinking? And then, like an unexpected rain shower on a day that's so dry you can't breathe, there was Hunny squeezing me tight and Mori holding my hand and Hikaru and Kaoru rubbing my back. In that moment, I realize a circle of love is ten times better than a procession of "sorries."

Another procession, but this time in the line of cars driving to the cemetery. Dad just kept his eyes on the road. Then he called one of his friends. I think he was in a business trip to Paris or something like that. I hear dad say, "Beautiful service… She's hanging in there… Wish you could be here with Haruhi and me right now… Wanna talk to Haruhi? I think she would love to hear from you…"

I look at dad as fast as I can and shake my head and wave my hand to tell him no. There's nothing to say that he hasn't said already.

"I guess she's tired right now…"

I make myself drift back to a happier time when Tamaki was still alive. I had just come to our school, in the fall, from a different town. He was the popular boy with the prettiest purple eyes… he looked young for a junior. The six of us – Hunny, Hikaru, Kaoru, Mori-senpai, Kyouya, and I – talked about him at lunch, eating tuna, my favorite food.

"Maybe he got contacts to make his eyes purple," Hikaru had said.

Kyouya gave him a look. "Well now, isn't that terrible?"

"Maybe he thinks purple eyes are sexy," Hikaru said.

"On him," I'd said, "it is."

So, what do u guys think? I really hope u guys liked it! It took me 2 hours to write. So yeah, tell me what u think and yeah, love u guys! See u when the next chapter is posted up. Love ya all! :)