Tears of a Broken Heart Chapter One - Blurry Days
Disclaimer One: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse...but I wish I did.
Disclaimer Two: Pain - mental or emotional suffering or torment. It's something nobody should have to go through. Same goes for Bella. But when Edward leaves, all he leaves her with is a pain they can never go away until he returns back to her.
XxBloody-RosesxX
Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock.
I lay there on the couch; flat on my stomach, face pressed against the cushions. and arm dangling off the couch lying on
the floor limp next to me, watching the clock. I watched as each hand of the seconds slowly made its way around and
around the clock until it looked as if they weren't moving at all. I concentrated mainly on the clock and nothing else. I
didn't let my mind wander nor did I let my feelings bubbe for fear of the results in those happenings. It was strange, I had
been looking at the clock for quite some time and yet I didn't even know the time. My eyes were out of focus for
everything else but the hands. I focused back on to the clock and reconginzed that it was five thirty. The last time I
recalled seeing was one forty - five. As I started to refocus in on everything I realized then that my stomach had been
growling. I hadn't remembered eating lunch at all and now that I think about it, breakfast was a blur as well. I must have
just spread the cereal around the edges of the bowl again. My appetite was lost in the past. Ever since...I stopped
thinking again until I knew that I would be able to control my subconcious that was trying to pull foward and reveal
distant memories that brought a pain beyond death and hell combined. This was how I spent most or all of my days. I
stared at anomonous objects till I lose myself and all concept of time without becoming unconcious for dreams ruptured
my sleep and every waking moment. I slowly sat up letting the blood rush back into my head. I sat there wobbly for a bit
till I regained complete cirrculation. I scratched my right side of my head - which I had been lying on - and attempted to
comb my hair with my fingers, but found it futile when my fingers happened to get caught in a knot. I stood up and
stumbled a little almost falling but quickly caught myself on the head of the chair and made my way into the kitchen to
retrieve food that I would most likely not eat. When I went into the kitchen my appetiate had faded and I was no longer
hungry. Instead I decided I would make Charlie his dinner. I would make two helpings as not to look too suspicious. But
me not being hungry my helping would be smaller. I took out the peppers I had bought yesturday and started to dice
them expertly. I then started to slice the potatoes, and season the meat. I expertly did everything but didn't enjoy
preparing it. I retrieved carrots from the fridge and started to cut them into little circles. After everything was diced, cut,
and washed i dumped them all in a large stew pot and added the broth. I turned up the stove and stirred. Dinner
wouldn't be ready for a while and I didn't just want to stand there so I thought about doing the laundry. I grabbed the
basket from the hallway and went into Charlie's room and picked up all the dirty clothes off the floor. I knew nothing was
in my room so I didn't even bother entering. By the time I finished in Charlie's room the basket was already three -
quaters of the way full. I slowly made my way down the stairs and into the laundry room. I dumped all the clothes on top
of the machines and started to turn all the clothes right side out. It took me twenty minutes to put all the clothes in the
washing machine and then another twenty to get all the clothes out from the dyer and fold them nicely. But whatever it
took to keep me busy I did. When finished I placed all the clean clothes in the basket and brought them upstairs. I then
began placing the clothes back in their respectful draws. Not realizing what time it was I heard the front door creak open.
I placed the basket in the hall and proceeded down the stairs fixing myself properly to greet Charlie. "Oh hiya Bells."
Charlie said as I made my appearence. He seemed to be having trouble getting a knot out from his boot laces. His hand
was leaning up against the wall balancing himself as he tried to undo it himself. I knelt down in front of the boot and with
my thin fingers undid it myself.
"Bells, I'm not a two year old I can undo my own laces." he said jokingly. "I'm kidding, thank you." and he kissed the top
of my head. I placed his shoes near the door and followed Charlie into the kitchen to continue my cooking. "Mmm Bells,
whatcha making?" he didn't really seem intrested in what I was making, he just wanted to start up a normal
conversation. I smiled a small fake smile that I always used and I knew he could see right through it.
"I'm making stew, Charlie." I then began to stir the stew while Charlie kinda lingered in the kitchen undecided if he should
stay or go. So I made the decision myself, the tension on the room was just too alkward to handle. "You sure Bells? I
could stay and keep you company." he said it with a tone that made me think me think he thought I was going to do
something that would harm me. It sounded as if he NEEDED to stay with me and watch over me. I turned my upper body
towards him still stirring, S'ok Charlie, I'm fine. You go watch the game." I placed that fake smile on and went back to
stirring. Charlie seemed a little hesitant but he finally went inside. He turned the T.V on but kept it on lower then usual. I
ignored Charlie's worried behavior and concentrated on the stirring. I watched as everything went around and around the
pot as I moved it. The carrots, the potatoes, the peppers, and the meat went in a circle. After I had my fill of stirring I let
it cook and simmer. I went inside and sat on the chair while Charlie watched the game. Now that I was inside in tried not
to be suspicious about rising the volume, but I noticed. I didn't really know what was going on in the game, I just stared
at the T.V taking in nothing but the blarring noises the crowd made, and the cheers Charlie made when the team scored.
Losing the time I heard the buzzer and it made me jump a little. I walked into the kitchen and pressed the off button and
poured the stew into a pib bowl. I then took I big bowl for Charlie and gave him his helping and for me I took all but a
teacup size helping. I called Charlie in and he quickly came and sat down. He gobbled up all his food while I pushed mine
off to the sides and mushed it into the broth to at least make it look as if I ate SOMETHING. Of course I ate some pieces of
potatoes and carrots but nothing else. Charlie stopped eating at one point even though he still had food, he looked up at
me as I played around with my food.
"Bella," he stopped and looked back at his food. I looked up. "Yea?" I was a bit confunsed. He looked perplexed and
worried. "I called your mother." he stopped and I just had a bewildered expression. "You called her!" I put my fork down
and just stared Charlie down. "Bella, you're not the same and I think that if your mother came over you could talk to her."
I was shocked, it was the first truefeeling I had in a while. "When is she coming?" I crossed my arms. "Monday." That was
three days from now. "She'll be sleeping in your room on the cot I keep in the closet." "Charlie you didn't need to call
mom. I'm fine." And we both knew that that was a lie. Dinner was quiet after that and I went to bed wondering what
would happen when mom came.