As members of his team gathered for the mission, he contemplated whether or not it was actually in his job description to remember how many missions they'd been on. Another routine one, as he wished most of them were. He thought again about how many missions he had been on and figured he'd ask Elizabeth some time. He'd also ask if he needed to start counting, it wouldn't do well to get fired if it was a part of his job.
Finally, about to step through the gate for the umpteenth time, he turned back and did something else that he'd lost track of how many times he'd done. He waved to Elizabeth with his own silent promise that he'd do his best to come back in one piece. He didn't bother to distinguish in his mind whether it was for her benefit or the city's, he just knew it was probably best to come back. Alive.
***
Happy her meetings were over, she barely held back a sigh from escaping. It'd been a tiring day, as most were, but she currently wasn't having much luck sleeping at night, as she was going through another bout of insomnia. At nights when she couldn't sleep, she could get a lot of work done, but she was so grateful that John was there to keep her in bed. Even without sleep it was still relaxing to just lay there.
As they all got up to leave the meeting, John came up beside her as she gathered her papers slowly.
"Something to eat?" She thought about it before nodding.
"Just give me a minute." He ran his hand down her arm and squeezed her hand. Giving him a small smile, she hurried getting her things together.
***
He was in the infirmary again. He never liked it, whether it was him in the bed (not the case this time), one of his teammates (luckily none of them), or anyone in the city (as he'd selfishly hoped it had been). He never liked it, but he hated it when it was Elizabeth. This was the third time he had had to be by her bedside like this, and it was harder every time.
The Genii would never truly be satisfied with the people in Atlantis. This latest incident was just proof of what they already knew, unfortunately.
The cuts and bruises lining her arms, throat, and face stood out to him, her pale skin looked even more washed-out in the gown Beckett had her in. She'll be fine, she's resting. But he won't sleep alone until she's released from the infirmary.
***
She loved the balcony, it was no surprise, and she had always loved a good view. This view was just something so spectacular, how could she ever avoid it? She hated finding out that she could.
She hadn't stepped out there, or any other balcony for that matter, since the funeral. That breathtaking view, she couldn't take it, couldn't see it anymore. It's been so long, she knows. She also knows it's irrational of her not to step out there and enjoy the view.
But today she did, and she's frozen. She's gripping the railing so hard she doesn't know if her hands will ever be able to let go.
John's standing right behind her. He's been there for a while and she's yet to let him know she appreciates his presence. She remembers the few days before the funerals when he wouldn't speak to her. Carson was dead and John was mad. They were the most unbearable days she'd been through in a long time. When he came back from Earth he tried to pretend that nothing was wrong with them. And yet, it's been a month and they've yet to share a bed again.
She forces herself to turn towards John and takes his hand in hers. She pulls herself closer to him when John switches hands so that he can walk with her off the balcony.
***
He pulls Elizabeth close to him, closing his eyes. He doesn't want to look at all the faces around him. She clings to him as he hugs her close.
He won't ever lose her again.
***