A/N: Hey guys! I know I've been gone for a while... But I'm finally done with high school :) After this weekend when we have my grad party and the show that I'm co-directing happens, life will slow down for a while. Well, until I go to Germany. But after Germany things will - oh wait. After that, I'm going to Florida with my best friend in the entire world :) But THEN things will be easy going lol. I'll have college registration for my classes at the amazing Kent State University, and then I'll spend the rest of my summer lazing around up at my grandparents' lake cottage with the very same best friend who is taking me to Florida. We'll do nothing but relax and write for a month~ I can't wait! I promise to make up for lost time then!
On another note, this is the first thing I've written for Dragon Age. The Dalish Elf origin is my favorite - it's so sad! I was playing through again, and decided to write this on a whim. I hope you like it!
.:Dareth Shiral:.
"Swiftly do stars burn a path across the sky, hast'ning to place one last kiss upon your eye. Tenderly land enfolds you in slumber, softening the rolling thunder. Dagger now sheathed, bow no longer tense. During this, your last hour, only silence."
Hahren Paivel's voice washes over me as he recites the poem over the fire, as though we were children again and he was telling us a story of our ancestors. Except, this is no tale and I feel as though I have aged many years in the last few days. My thoughts distract me from the service; I don't want to believe this is happening.
Abelas, emma falon. My grief shoots through me like an Assan.
"We are the Dalish: keepers of the lost lore, walkers of the lonely path. We are the last Elvhenan. Never again shall we submit."
I had never truly found much meaning behind the Oath of the Dales. A sense of pride would always stir within me whenever a Hahren recited it, but nothing more. It was a statement which described who we are; who you were.
"Tamlen na melana sahlin…"
I cannot bring myself to believe that you are gone, but with every day, I grow increasingly numb. Emma Souveri. I fear that if I do not find closure, I will never be able to live my life.
But I often wonder if a life without you is worth living…
"Emma ir abelas" The heart-wrenching cries of the Halla ripped through me, bringing tears to my eyes.
When we were younger, I had always been so in awe of you. You were the best hunter, and you were always laughing and smiling. Everybody loved you. When you randomly challenged me to go on a hunt with you, my smile must have been blinding. We had so much fun that day, and every day thereafter…
Had. I still can't get used to the feeling of past tense on my tongue as I speak of you.
"Vhenan him dor'felas…"
You are my best friend - even death cannot change that. But you are also so much more than that…
Ma'arlath. I've finally admitted it. I'd scream it to the heavens if that would do any good. But it is too late for that, now. It is too late for a lot of things.
Though we often flirted with one another, I never had the courage to actually tell you how I felt. I thought you would laugh at me; we were best friends, not mates. But now I wish, more than anything, that I had told you, emma lath.
No - not more than anything.
My biggest regret, far larger than withholding my feelings from you, is ever giving in to your charms and your contagious sense of adventure. I had a bad feeling about the cave from the moment that stupid shem started to speak of it… If only I had been more firm in my refusal; if we hadn't gone down to the cave. I was sure that our adventure would end badly, but when you smiled and started teasing me, I couldn't help but give in. I wanted to be brave, and your curiosity was extremely contagious. I too wanted to know what was hidden in those caves. Besides, it meant that I got to spend more time with you - I didn't want to go back to camp and work with Master Varathorn like I was supposed to. That's why I had snuck out in the first place, after all - to hunt with you.
"In uthenera na revas…"
I wonder if there was something more that I could have done; if I could have searched harder and longer. I feel terrible for having had to abandon the search, to abandon you, so soon. If it had been up to me, I would have remained behind and searched until my last breath, however long that may have been.
But I cannot dwell on all of these what-ifs; the Creators apparently have other plans for us. If I want to survive in this steadily darkening world, I must pull myself together.
"Vir sulahn'nehn!"
I must lay your memory to rest.
"Vir dirthera!"
I must find closure, somehow, despite the guilt and the doubts that plague my mind every day.
"Vir samahl la numin!"
I must fulfill my duties as a Grey Warden: my punishment for losing you, as well as my path to redemption. For I can lose myself in the slaughter of an endless supply of darkspawn, assured that my life will be a short one and that I will see you again soon on the other side of the Veil. Leaving the clan will be difficult, but there are far too many memories here for me to bear. Leaving will be a mercy in the end.
"Vir lath sa'vunin!"
I must live, and love, another day. Another day without you.
Hahren Paivel's voice echoed throughout the forest for a moment, and then everything was silent except for the quiet crackle of the fire before us. The silence pounded against my ears, trying to shatter the façade of calm that I had managed to maintain throughout the entire funeral.
I must stay strong, for you. Only for you, Tamlen.
The others slowly started to drift away from the fire in small groups, mourning in their own way, until I was the last one standing in the orange glow of the flames.
For I must remain Dalish: keeper of your memory, and walker of this lonely path.
Dareth shiral, emma lath.
A/N: There you have it :) Hope you liked it! Please review?
Translation Notes:
Hahren: Elder
Abelas: Sorrow / an apology
Ma falon: My friend
Assan: arrow
Emma Souveri: I am tired/weary
Emma lath: my love
Shem: short for Shemlen, which is what the Dalish call Humans
Ma'arlath: I love you
Dareth shiral, emma lath: Goodbye/Safe journey, my love
Elvhenan Eulogy: the song sung to honor the dead and bring the Creators to guide the spirit of the deceased. Adapted to use for Tamlen in this story, since he wasn't an elder.
hahren na melana sahlin (elder your time is come)
emma ir abelas (now I am filled with sorrow)
souver'inan isala hamin (weary eyes need resting)
vhenan him dor'felas (heart has become grey and slow)
in uthenera na revas (in waking sleep is freedom)
vir sulahn'nehn (we sing, rejoice)
vir dirthera (we tell the tales)
vir samahl la numin (we laugh and cry)
vir lath sa'vunin (we love one more day)