This is an ongoing collection of KuroFaiYuui and/or FaiYuui vignettes... parts may or may not be related. Merry Christmas, you guys!
ETA (Feb 2, 2016): The fic that inspired this collection is actually on the next chapter ;) 'santa baby' is really just pwp.
Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle and its characters do not belong to me.
santa baby
Been an angel all year, Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight
It was one of those blustery, wintry nights where the roofs were slick with ice, snow blew wetly in one's face, and it was so cold that one couldn't feel one's red and dribbling nose. Kurogane swore under his breath as he dismounted from the clunky sleigh, taking the one light sack that the lesser elf, Syaoran, handed to him. He frowned.
"Just this?" he grumbled, hefting the rough burlap sack. "Not much in it."
The elf shrugged at him. He wasn't dressed much more warmly than Kurogane was, but Kurogane was honestly past caring. The workers at Santa Reed's factory weren't all that well-off, unlike what mass media loved to propagate, but whatever. Syaoran looked down at his glowing screen. "It says so on the list, Kurogane, sir. Fluorite and Fluorite. That's all they're getting."
Kurogane huffed. For all that he might grump about the inadequacies of his work attire, his boots had good rubber soles, and he jogged across the steep roof of the European house, finding its narrow, tall chimney easily.
The one good thing about being Santa Reed's runner was that the damn old fart was a magician, so Kurogane's clothes had been enchanted. He could squeeze into chimneys and not get soot all over himself, provided that he wore his fur-lined hat and white-trimmed boots. It was late, though, so there wasn't anyone around to really look at him. Most places had their lights dimmed and food left out for "Santa", that Kurogane left alone. (Who would trust food from random strangers?)
This chimney was no different from the rest. There was no fire burning cheerfully down below; Kurogane lowered his legs into the brick chute, held his breath, and let himself fall.
The hearth was still hot from a fire freshly put out. Kurogane landed with his feet in the corners of the fireplace, curled himself tight and pushed forward, so he rolled neatly out beneath two stockings—
And nearly onto two people right in front of the hearth.
"The fuck," he spluttered, at the same time they yelped and jerked away from each other.
He rocked backwards, into a crouch, doing a quick survey of the situation... which was actually a very awkward situation indeed, because the people he'd almost landed on were naked, male, and looked like mirror images of each other, with wispy gold hair and bright blue eyes, and long limbs splayed every which way. They were both gaping at him, jaws hanging, lean chests rising and falling.
"Santa is a ninja," one of them whispered, clutching at the other. He smiled brightly. "Hello."
"Who the fuck says 'hello' like that?" Kurogane snapped. He tried (and failed) not to look at them. It was clear that they'd been in the middle of something very intimate (which was absolutely none of his business) on the furry brown hearthside rug, that they were both very attractive, and that they were also both very aroused. He jerked his eyes to the Christmas tree on the other side of the little living room. It was one of those plastic ones, old and faded, with some worn ornaments hanging sparsely from its branches.
"I'm Fai," the same man answered. "And this is Yuui. Pleased to meet you."
"Hi?" The other twin gulped and looked down at himself, at Fai, then at Kurogane, but neither he nor his brother were making any attempt at salvaging their modesty. "We really weren't expecting a visit from Santa this year."
"No kidding." Kurogane looked between them, suddenly wondering how the fuck they'd even made it on the Nice list.
Yuui flushed. Fai grinned. "Well, it looks like our cover's blown," he said. "Care to join us, Mr Handsome Santa?"
His twin yelped and swatted at him. He turned to Kurogane. "Don't mind him, Mr Santa. We, uh, we understand that you have things to see to."
Kurogane was abruptly reminded of the sack in his hand. Funny he should forget about that. "Right. Just setting this under the tree."
("He's so tall," one of them whispered when he finally straightened to his full height.)
He stalked across the room, acutely aware of both their gazes on him. It seemed cozy, this place, with just a couple of armchairs and a low table, and plenty of pictures on the walls. Christmas decorations were hung everywhere—reindeer sculptures on the mantle, tinsel over the doorways, and little green branches of spruce on the side tables. The thick curtains were drawn shut, and the house smelled very faintly of food.
There came a low whistle from behind the moment he crouched next to the faded plastic tree.
"I didn't think Santa had an ass like that."
Kurogane froze in the middle of digging into the mostly-empty sack. He wanted to chuck their present at the idiot's head, suddenly, but he was a respectable greater elf wearing Santa's name, and he couldn't just do things like that. "I'm not Santa, by the way. Just a runner."
The twins blinked at him. "Where's Santa?" one of them asked. "Yuui's probably the one who gets something for Christmas."
He didn't have time to acknowledge the lack of surprise on either twin's part, because a bell tinkled somewhere, and a disembodied voice came floating down the chimney.
"Kurogane, sir, is everything all right?"
Kurogane cleared his throat very loudly. "I'm fine," he snapped. "Just ran into something unexpected. Be up soon."
The twins looked back at him, mouthing his name between themselves.
"Kuro-santa," Fai said, languid smile on his lips.
"My name is Kurogane," he said on instinct, shoved the gift beneath the tree. "And I've told you that I'm not Santa. I don't even have a beard."
Fai shrugged; Yuui watched him with some trepidation. They were a little less aroused, now, but Kurogane was faced with the next hurdle: getting past their watchful eyes, and up into the chimney. It was an easy thing to do, really. Except he was kind of reluctant to. They were good on some level if they were receiving a gift from Santa at all.
"We have something for you," Fai said suddenly. His eyes were bright, and his cheeks were growing a dusky pink. The twins shared a look; Yuui made a little noise at the back of his throat. Fai glanced at Kurogane again, briefly. "As thanks for your efforts."
Kurogane wanted to mention that it was his duty and he didn't accept gifts, period, but Fai had crawled back into Yuui's lap on the rug, and he was kissing his twin, slow, lazy, deep. Yuui tensed; Fai rubbed his arms, wound fingers into his hair, and he slowly relaxed, kissed back, the flushed tip of his erection glistening with wetness.
Kurogane swallowed. He shouldn't be stopping for this. He still had a bunch of gifts to deliver, even if he was ahead of time, but this—he'd never seen anything like this, and the way Yuui moaned into Fai's mouth sent a jolt of heat into his groin.
Fai reached between their thighs for Yuui, stroking him slow and firm, flicking a look towards Kurogane. They locked gazes; Fai smirked.
He wriggled off Yuui's lap, wrapping his fingers around the base of his twin's cock, and in the heartbeats before he leaned in, Kurogane caught a glimpse of Fai's own erection, dripping with clear fluid.
It was precisely because he knew that same arousal that Kurogane could feel it echoing within him, could feel it filling up the limited space in his pants. The red suit was bad enough, too thin as it was, and it hugged his thighs and hips and he knew, without looking, that Fai was aware of his interest.
The blond whispered to his twin, his mouth a hair's breadth from flushed skin, and Kurogane saw as Yuui cracked his eyes open, looked over. His cheeks grew dark; all the same, he didn't attempt to hide himself, and Fai took him deep into his mouth. Yuui made a breathless, pleased noise in his throat. His fingers twitched, as if he wanted to grasp at his brother, push him down further.
Kurogane's mouth was dry and he was breathing shallowly, needing to do something other than standing next to a damn plastic tree and watching the twins.
Fai pulled away from Yuui with a soft, wet pop to say, "You're always welcome over here, Kuro-hard."
He couldn't. He couldn't move, much less think very clearly, and he wanted some sort of release but not like this, in the living room of two very pretty strangers.
Fai smiled, held Yuui down by his thighs and sucked him back into his mouth. He hollowed his cheeks; Yuui keened, chest heaving, and Kurogane lost track of time as Fai's head bobbed and Yuui panted as if all the air in the world wasn't enough.
He could tell when Yuui was close, because he finally shoved his hand into Fai's hair and grasped tight, tufts of hair peeking out from between his fingers. Fai pulled off, pumped Yuui's slick, gleaming length until he spilled, streaks of white dashed across his chest.
Kurogane's pulse was somewhere in his pants and he really wasn't thinking straight at all.
Fai raised his eyebrows, licked his lips. Yuui had collapsed into a pile of boneless limbs, breathing hard, a hand over his face. "What did you do, Fai," he groaned.
"Something very good," Fai answered, still watching Kurogane.
Kurogane finally tore his eyes away, heading straight for the fireplace. His sack would be a poor choice for trying to hide anything, but it was either that, or lose his erection here somehow, and there was no fucking way he was going to do that. "I'm leaving," he said, voice raspier than he would've liked.
"You know our address," Fai told him with a slow smile. "At least warn us before you enter next time."
He flushed at the insinuation, couldn't scramble up the chimney fast enough, even as Fai's awed remark that "those pants don't hide anything" followed him the entire way.
Syaoran was waiting for him on the roof, cheeks flushed with cold, and eyes teary from the biting wind. "Kurogane, sir!" he cried, relief awash across his face. "I was starting to think you needed some help down there!"
Kurogane groaned and rubbed his hand across his face. It was going to be a long, uncomfortable night, and he wished Christmas was over and done with. He could do without reminders, especially, of blue eyes and golden hair. Really.
"What do you think is in the present?" Fai asked, sliding his eyes over to their colorfully-lit Christmas tree. There were gifts already there, shiny boxes from friends and each twin that had been sitting beneath the tree for the past few days. The only new addition was a little box, wrapped in striped gold-and-silver foil, with an intricate silver bow on top.
"If you get off from me, we'll find out," Yuui mumbled into his shoulder, exhausted after Fai had fallen upon him a second time (as if the first during Kurogane's visit hadn't been enough).
Fai scrambled off his twin, a slow smile spreading on his lips. His attention was entirely snagged by the mysterious new gift now; Yuui watched with a great amount of fondness and appreciation as his other half crawled across the wood floors, leaving him to languish on the rug by himself. That was all right.
"What is it?" he asked.
Fai planted his bottom on the floor, picked the little box up. It rattled when he shook it, like there were a number of things inside. "Sounds like some kind of consumable. Food? It's kind of light."
Curious, Yuui rolled around on the rug so his head was closer to Fai and he wasn't smearing semi-dry stuff everywhere. "Candy?"
"I can't imagine Kuro-santa coming all the way here just to give us candy." Fai held the box in one hand, crawled awkwardly back to Yuui. He sat back down on the edge of the rug.
Yuui made the effort to sit up, though he pressed into Fai's side, laid his head on his twin's shoulder. "It's not like we've been good enough to deserve anything expensive. I don't even think either of us have been good this year."
"Haven't been good for a while," Fai agreed. He turned the box around in his hands, found a little gift tag right at the bottom. "It's addressed to both of us," he said with some surprise. "Fai and Yuui Fluorite."
"Huh. Guess we were good enough for one present."
Yuui was content to wrap his arms around Fai while Fai made the extra effort to try and unwrap the gift with the least amount of damage to the wrapping paper. It was a special gift, and Yuui would want to salvage the paper for whatever else they could do with it later.
Both of them stared when the box fell out.
Lucky Charms, shouted the bold pink letters across the top. Beneath, Taste the Rainbow! And, further below, in fine print, 12 assorted condoms.
There was absolute silence in the house for about five seconds.
"What?" Yuui said weakly.
"Do you think he knew?" Fai answered, picking the box up. It was wrapped in one of those awful, flimsy plastic wrap that was nigh impossible to pry open without a knife of some sort. "I mean, he delivered it. Right to our tree."
"He said he wasn't Santa, though. Said he was a runner."
They looked at each other for another long moment.
"Do I want to know who Santa is?" Yuui groaned. "How is this a present? I didn't know Santa gave out condoms."
"Kuro-hard should've stayed," Fai told him, laughing softly. "There's enough for all of us."
Yuui chuckled half-heartedly along with him. "Open it. I want to know what sorts there are inside."
Fai struggled with the plastic wrap for a bit, short fingernails scrabbling over unyielding plastic. "Figures that condoms need to be pried out of their box."
His twin sighed and grinned, finally getting to his feet to grab a pair of scissors. When they emptied it, Fai turned the colorful, gleaming packages the right way up so they could read the printed text. There were things like "ultra thin" and "ribbed" and "extra safe", and a strawberry-flavored one that Yuui grimaced at.
"We'll save them for Kuro-santa when he next visits," Fai decided.
"If he visits."
"Then he can tell us whether he sent us condoms on purpose." Fai watched while Yuui grouped foil squares with the same labels together and slid them back into the box. "Or maybe Santa sent him here with condoms just because."
They shared a smile at that.
"He looked like he'd rather kill us first," Yuui pointed out as he closed the paper box, setting it to the side of the rug.
"But he did enjoy the show." Fai winked; Yuui felt heat creeping up his cheeks. "Maybe he'll come over again next year."
"I guess we'd have to be good, then?"
"Just enough to get on the Nice list. Maybe feed more cats or something." Fai smiled. "It should work."
Yuui snuggled close with a purr. "We aren't doing that in front of the fireplace again, to be sure."
Fai merely grinned at him.
A/N: Trolling twins and trolling Kurogane has to be one of my favorite pastimes ;)