Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, although I have borrowed dialogue, characters and concepts for my own twisted purposes! Hope you enjoy the story, it is all I own.. Well sorta, I also own a lunch for today (PB&J on white) and a really sweet Batman shirt that I wear often..
Pre-Story A/N: Imagine a "Misa-free" Death Note...it's coming your way. Btw, The story begins with Light already being caught, but don't worry...explanations will come next couple chapters. A little lot of emotional characters, OOC is how I roll, baby! (But really, I'm trying my hardest here...)
Rated M for a reason.. but there will be more reasons to come later on.. muhahahah!
Two's Company, Three's a Crowd
Regret
"If there was one thing you could change in your time as being Kira, excluding the notion of not becoming Kira in the first place-because I doubt you would change that, what would it be? What would you change, Light?" The dark haired man sat before him, the private cell was blindingly bright and the darkness of Ryuzaki's eyes and hair was comforting. Light mulled over the idea, deciding if he should tell the truth or not, wondering what the detective assumed he would say.
"I bet you are thinking that I would take back our meeting and friendship, L." Light said with an easy smile, he could always read the raven boy so easily.
L nodded and a small smile flashed on his face, his eyes gave away the hope and relief he did not wish to share with Light. Light's own smile widened, and he found himself wishing that he had given into his previous feelings for Ryuzaki fully while he had still had the freedom and chance.
"I do regret something about our relationship...I regret not showing you how I felt earlier." Light's non-existent pride took a hit while he admitted another past mistake; he had not thought it was still possible in his current predicament.
L's cheeks turned a delicious pink colour, his thumb received extra abuse from gnashing teeth, and the smell of sugar and copper rang in the air as L let out a regretful sigh of his own.
"Yes, Light-kun. That is something I also find regretful. But I meant more towards your victory as Kira, rather than your, er...Urges as a man." The words were painfully awkward and both of the genius' stared and puzzled over the strange feelings building within themselves and the hilarity of the situation.
They were Kira and L, mass murderer and the world's three best detectives, and they had practically announced love for each other if not terrible levels of lust. These thoughts sped through their brains, L reaching the point of laughter 0.04 seconds faster than Raito did, and both fell into spontaneous bouts of laughter for several minutes. Had anyone but Watari been watching the two converse, they would have surely thought that L had lost his mind.
Except L had always known Yagami Light was Kira, so he was long used to accepting the boy. He had known since he had first suspected him. He knew the first time they met and he had shook the boy's lovely hand, first smelled his alluring cologne and tasted his expert lies for himself, finding the taste both lonely and bitter.
"I'm going to miss this, L. I'm going to miss you." The conversation took its turn to a more serious note, the sombre mood swallowed both boys up, causing silence to prevail for a few minutes. There was a loud beeping noise, notifying the prisoner and his visitor that another was about to enter the room.
Both looked towards the door, a guard named "Darrel" was there to deliver Light's final meal, and to inform him that a pastor could still be made available to him for confession. Light found great humour in the idea of destroying a priest's mind; the stories he could tell that poor, religious fool. Light shook his head, and accepted the meal graciously. Light even thanked the guard and offered him a charming half smile.
'Ever Mr. Manners.' Ryuzaki shook his head as he read the amber-eyed boys thoughts, clearly written for only L to see.
"You know Light, I am quite proud of you for not destroying that priests mind before your..." the sentence died on Ryuzaki's emotionally-tied tongue.
"...Execution, Ryu-chan?" Light teased him, the humour almost believable except for the tinge of fear and the crack in his voice as he called on one of the more annoying nicknames Ryuzaki had picked up. Ryuzaki reached over and touched Light's hand, his own hand was incredibly hot, but he found Light's to be lacking all body heat.
The younger stared softly at the hands, then looked up into L's abyss-like eyes, he let his true fear show for once, his regret and his helplessness. It was only a few seconds of no shields, of no lies and fronts, it was liberating and awful all at once, for both parties.
L watched and made up his mind quickly, leaning forward and bringing his other hand around to smooth Raito's hand and cheek, he leaned half way towards the young killer. His breath was hot, his thoughts were strange and foggy. How many times had they come this far, only to stop kissing and hope that next time they would have the strength and nerve to continue onwards? Except this would be the last time, the only time. It would have to do.
Light pushed to close the distance, his own free hand coming up to grasp the detective by his unruly hair, firstly to draw a moan from L and secondly, to provoke the older boy's mouth open, so that he could explore him without complaint. He succeeded and the noise that came from L's mouth was far more arousing than Raito could ever fully imagine.
They stood quickly, realizing they were not yet touching enough. L's shirt came off swiftly, followed by Light's own final outfit that L himself had arranged and authorized. Hands explored greedily, lips were bitten, necks sucked at painfully. L did not think to stop, did not think he could stop, not that he wanted to.
While Light enjoyed this final bliss as he prepared his soul for an eternity of nothingness, of complete and utter blankness. What would that feel like? Would he remember his life, and if so, could he not relive this moment over and over? Or would that be far too much like heaven, and all thoughts of this man would be removed upon reaching his goal of ultimate perishing?
His thoughts were wrenched away from mu as Light felt his belt being pulled at, his zipper being undone with a quick and satisfying noise. He broke the kiss off long enough to look at Ryuzaki, gauge his lust-filled reaction.
"L, you are so beautiful." the words came out completely sincere and the tone made L blush, his cheeks growing more red than pink and his bruised lips curling up in a faint smile.
"God, I can't believe this is it." Light pulled the detective closer to himself, the act of undressing continued.
The words were stuck in Raito's mouth, wanting to come out, needing to be said.
"You know...I love you, L." L's hands paused at Light's midriff, his head snapping up quickly to read the honesty of those words. Light let the feeling show on his young face, he let the weakness become present, and tears went unshed but were noticed in his eyes. L shook his head slowly.
"I didn't know, not really, but I had hoped." Light felt the sadness in those words, was bothered by how awful he had been to this person, his soul-mate.
Wait, soul-mate? Raito questioned the sanity of this thought, the futility of the notion and the pain it brought with it.
'If he is my soul-mate, then he'll be forevermore alone.' Light felt a strange sort of weight pressing down upon himself, the loneliness of any existence without someone to love, it was unbearable.
"Ryuzaki, when this is all over and done. I hope you'll...Be happy, or try. I don't want you miserable."
"Raito-kun is awfully full of himself, what makes him think I cannot be happy without him?" L went for funny, it came out sounding forced and sad.
The passion in the room had not died, surprisingly. Instead, it had matured and aged like some beautiful poisonous plant; waiting to grow into something awesome and godly in its purity and treachery. The feelings had all been admitted to on Light's side, his emotions shown to the man before him, his trust made real, he felt fulfilled but not satisfied.
The bare minimum had been met, but now was the time to come together. The idea made Light's skin shiver in anticipation, both genii knew that they had roughly 24 hours before the execution. Light had asked L to stand by him; he needed him there, wanting his last sight to be Ryuzaki and his lovely eyes.
The urge to be finally here, to be finally with each other was becoming overpowering again.
"Light, I need you to nngh-" The words were cut off by Light's mouth, his tongue hot and active. L's responded in turn, the battle for dominance was never-ending between these two, but it felt so good. Both groaned into the feeling, toppling over onto the bed that lay beside the table and chess board of Light's private cell.
The jeans Ryuzaki was wearing were being pulled off, unceremoniously. The black silk boxers he wore gave away his erection as Light palmed him rather harshly.
"Nnah-I want to take you, Ryuzaki. I want the last thing I do on this earth to be taking you, fucking you. I want to make you scream." The words were whispered into L's ear, Light's tongue sliding along L's earlobe and neck. Light's own pants were finally off and the two lay on top of one another, grinding against each other roughly.
L mewled at the threats of Raito's violence, at the feeling of near-explosion he had from this contact with his only friend and lover.
'How can I live after this?' The thought was horrible, L found himself almost drowning in the sick realisation that he had been having ever since he had found that final piece of evidence, given up by that dumb bitch, Misa Amane.
The grinding intensified, bringing L back to the moment, his excitement building, his release impending.
"Raito, I don't know if I can...unghh- I think I'm going-" the white light was coming, it was almost blinding, making the light of this cell laughable and dim.
Light began making his own little noises, small grunts and happy 'un's!' at each thrust, his body was nearing finish...Light spoke with little thought to the words he said.
"Together-" the word almost cut off as both boys neared their finales, panting and screaming each other's names. The mutual pleasure was amazing, and they hadn't even really touched each other...yet.
They both lay back, snuggling, cuddling and removing their spent underwear. They admired the views of their fully naked bodies; flushed chests, breathing hard from exertion, nipples erect and stomachs tight. Hands moved to explore, tan on snow white, pale-winter over burning-summer sun.
"So amazing, and all mine." Light spoke softly, Ryuzaki stared in disbelief, amazing, beautiful?
"I do not believe you, Light-kun." Light looked sad at the disagreement.
"You are mine for now, L. Just let me have today. I'm not just using you for your body." The words held no hidden tricks or jokes.
"No, that is not what I meant, Light. You were actually serious, weren't you? You think I'm...attractive?" Light blinked a few times, before laughing lightly at the strange sense of low self-esteem L was showing off.
"Yes, I do...You're so unusual, ethereal even. I was so sick of the mundane, of the everyday boring people that wanted me. I wanted you and I wanted you to want me back even after all the horrible games, all I wanted was you and your...body, your heart and soul, L. You're amazing."
The raven answered softly, agreeing to all that had been said, to all that was requested in that sentence, giving up all of his cards as Raito was now doing. It was only fair to be completely honest now, and who better to confess his lies to then another notorious liar?
"L Lawliet, Light-kun." The words brought a strange relief, both boys sighed, Light looked somewhat confused.
"Why? You won, L, Lawliet." the name on the younger boys tongue was heaven for L, he shuddered and wanted more than anything to hear it spoken again and again from that mouth. He leaned over to whisper in the younger boy's ear, shamelessly.
"So that when I'm in you, you'll know the proper name to yell." the grin he gave was almost evil, and Light replied with a grin of his own.
"Pervert." L's hands roamed Raito's body slowly, he felt down his chest, soaking up his youth and beauty with soft fingertips. He nipped softly at a nipple, tongue grazing it lightly. He continued his movement downwards, hands coming to rest at thighs, fingers rubbing circles into the warming flesh. His right hand stopped and moved up towards Light's soft mouth.
"Suck." the command came out rough, the building tension was proving hard for both boys. Light took the soft hand up to his mouth, flicking his tongue out along the index, middle and ring finger of L's hand.
He brought them into his mouth, sucking suggestively. L's breath came out in louder pants. When all three of the fingers had been coated he kissed each tip gently, keeping his eyes fixed on the raven black stare. The hand was taken back slowly, the intentions were known on both sides and both wanted this encounter to hasten, they were impatient and craving.
When the first finger entered his body, Light cried out at the unexpected feelings; the sudden increase in lust, the awkward feeling of being slowly filled, and the sense of more to come. The second finger was more pleasant than uncomfortable, both grazing over a spot of electricity.
"Fuckk-un." the spot was touched again, and Light found himself ramming towards the hand, the third finger was barely noticed as the stretching continued. Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, L pulled out his hand and prepared to enter Light himself. L watched the boy prepare himself, his eyes trusting and loving.
"Lawliet...I want to feel you." The prompt made L grow harder, the use of his name sealing his fate. He rammed into the boy roughly, his effort rewarded by a moan from Light's lips.
"Yes, Lawliet...harder." The words would have been horrible to say before; but Light was beyond caring about his pride now and also because they brought about such emotion from L, whose heart hurt as he realized this boy would be dead in mere hours.
He froze momentarily until he felt Light pushing himself to be further impaled by L's member. The movement was all it took and suddenly he was pumping into the younger boy was speed and increasing pressure. Sounds and words of no meaning were being spewed from his own mouth, he wanted badly to stop them so he pressed his lips to Raito's. His speed increasing as L brought his hand down to wrap around Light's member.
"Lawliet...soon. Coming-please, faster." L obeyed the boy, making his back arch off of the bed, L's hand speed increased to match the quickening pace of hips and flesh. Both were panting and moaning loudly, as the pressure built up to climax they both screamed and found sweet release in the harmony and movements.
They lay down after, both catching their breath and slowing down their loudly beating hearts. L found himself blushing, when Raito admitted that had been his first time with anyone. This admission surprised L and he confessed it was his own as well.
"So you and Misa never...?" the question was left up in the air, and Light shuddered.
"No, I never wanted that with her, or anyone else. I always played the religion and love cards...Actually, I don't know if even I would have been skilled enough to fake attraction to those girls, Misa especially." L nodded and felt his heart warm, he had been with the real Light in bed, had been his first and only love.
They lay next to each other, rubbing skin and taking comfort in just listening to their hearts beating together, their skin touching and warming. After a while L found himself dozing comfortably, he turned slightly so that he could be spooned tightly to Raito, mewling as he felt an arm wrap firmly around his naked waist.
A hand moved over his hip, fingertips grasping at flesh almost painfully, it drew L out of his dazed state, his breath hitched as another arm slid under his neck and caused him to turn and kiss the boy behind him. Raito pulled back, nipping at white flesh on L's neck, he whispered into the others ear seductively.
"I recall saying my last act on this earth would be fucking you, not getting fucked by you." L shuddered, he recalled that oath, and also remembered being told he would be left screaming Light's name.
L nodded, although Light was so busy kissing his back and nipping at him, hand grasping at pale thighs, so he could not be completely sure his agreement had been noted. Light brought a finger up to his own mouth, sucked at it delicately, and added two more to the mix, coating them with his own saliva.
"It'll be all me when I take you, all of my saliva and my effort." Light groaned the final word and brushed up against L's backside, his finger plunging into L's entrance. L groaned at the new experience, he wondered at the full feeling he would get once Light was in him. The younger boy wasted no time in pushing another finger into the detective, scissoring his fingers in an attempt to hasten the preparations. Light felt for the spot he knew lay within L, he found it and lightly pushed at the nerves bundled there.
L cried out, and Light added a third finger to his explorations.
"Do you want me, Lawliet? Want me in you, fucking the life out of you? Do you want that?" The obscene words were punctuated with thrusts from Light's hands, they left L shaking and moaning.
"Yes, Light-kun...I want you, I want you please, please..." The words died out as Light positioned himself to take L, he moved over to face the older boy.
"I want to see you as you scream my name, Lawliet. I want to see your beautiful face as I pound you into the mattress." The lust in Light's eyes burned dangerously, but L did not fear him, this was his lover, his equal...
There was fire as Light thrust into him; it burned him alive, the feeling in his stomach spread through his entire being.
"Gahhn!" the noises he made grew louder as Light pushed himself brutally into L. Almost as if he was attempting to join them together through this act, to become one with him and that thought drove L to further heights of intimacy and pleasure. The older boy felt his shoulders being grasped roughly by Light, his own hands coming up to grasp at the boy above and in him.
"Light...unng...I love you so much." L cried out, his eyes watching his beautiful lover, the determined look of lust burning the amber into a harsh red.
"Godamn, Lawliet, you are so tight and-Ung-You're mine...Say it. Say it, L Lawliet." Light was losing control of himself, he knew that he was about to explode and he wanted to dominate the boy beneath him before he gave in to pleasure. L didn't have to think about his response.
"I've always been y-yours, Light-kun...Always-gnn." the words were true and the truth made them far more erotic.
"Light!" L suddenly called out as his world once more went white, feeling the intensity build and release to unimaginable heights, his erection releasing hotly onto his own stomach. Light followed shortly after, whispering 'Lawliet!' harshly, and with a final barbaric thrust, filled up L with his own seed and finally collapsed over.
The two were finally exhausted, Light gently kissed L's face, affectionately wrapping an arm around his waist again. This time pulling a blanket over the two and listening to L's slow breaths.
Time passed quickly, too quickly for the two new lovers. They passed the time by talking quietly to each other, making love when they felt the need and even playing a few games of chess. The tie breaking game finally ended with L taking Light's king, one of Light's own pawns blocking his escape route. Light had smiled up at the detective, tears threatening his eyes.
"I just keep losing to you, don't I, L?" L had felt sick at the comment but Light didn't seem to have any malice behind his words.
He wrapped his arms around L's neck and kissed him lovingly, L felt his resolve crumble and a small sob made its way out of his throat. Light squeezed him tighter.
"I didn't mean to make you sad, Lawliet. Don't be sad...This is the way the game works, I lost."
"No, Raito-kun, I have lost. I'm losing you, and that doesn't feel like winning at all." L felt tears falling down his cheeks; his heart breaking in his chest, agony was all he would know from this moment on.
Light watched the sorrow growing, his own hurt blazed as he saw the world's best detective crumble and self-destruct. He had to stop this.
"No, don't...You won, and I don't mind losing to you, because I love you...And it sounds to strange, but I would've hated you if you had made me have to lose to anyone else. It's better this way." L nodded, unsure he believed Raito, but understanding the words.
"You know, I would've given up being Kira, for you. If that was ever possible, if I had would you have kept me, Lawliet?" The questions brought pain on both sides, but the need for complete and utter honesty won over the pain.
"I think I would have...Yes, Light-kun. If you had confessed earlier, I think I would've kept you safe...Thought of something to make sure you could be kept alive." Light nodded, feeling better realizing L would choose him over justice.
Light spoke suddenly as he decided on an answer for L.
"And to answer your earlier question, if I could've changed anything in the KIRA case it would've been never involving myself with Misa." L nodded, he knew that Misa was to blame for all of this, for Light's capture and L's unexpected victory.
Their minds drifted back to the days L had the evidence he finally needed...and how it had been Misa to deliver all of the evidence straight to L's waiting hands.
End of Chapter 1-Regret
To be continued..
Alright, enough with the Misa bashing (I'm talking to myself right now btw...apologies to those who enjoy Misa a lot and are rooting for her and Light-ehem, wait-do ppl like that actually exist?)
Post-Story A/N: Love it or hate it? Send me your feedback.. Although be forewarned, flamers will have to deal with my sobs. I'm a hardcore sobber.
I hope you liked it, I've been thinking about a Death Note with no Misa, and it seemed...like heaven.
Btw, Err.. You could probably tell this is one of my first 'sexy time' chapters, really.. I don't have much experience writing them...Reading them, yes...But yeah, lol. Tell me how I've done, I want the brutal truth, even if it ruins my very soul.
Apologies for the long Author Notes, I ramble on and on, A LOT *offers homemade cookies*
Cheers,
Zilander Kat