A/N: I'M SO CALLING FIRST S5 FIC. So suck it.
A bird chirped. A flower bloomed. A wind blew. A leaf fluttered. A baby smiled. The economy rose. Stocks soared. A flag waved. The ozone layer repaired itself. Health care was free. The war was over. World peace was achieved. Cancer was cured. Miley Cyrus shut up. Slavery was abolished. Children throughout the world were loved. Shannon passed PE. The housing market became stable. Bob Marley came back to life. The blind could see. The school system got its money back. Victoria Beckham gained weight. Panda Bears were taken off the endangered species list. Abuse was ended. All people had access to clean water. No one went hungry. All kids could go to school. Teen pregnancy rates went down. Less people dropped out of school. Drugs and alcohol became obsolete. Gregory House admitted sometimes people tell the truth, and found a patient who actually had lupus. All droughts and floods ceased. Ricky Gervais became President of the United States of America, with Hugh Laurie serving as his VP. College education expenses went down. Ellen Hopkins published another book. Hogwarts was real and was located across the way from Narnia. No one feared death. Everyone received a daily hug. People had better self-image. All people found their soul mate. High-waisted shorts went out of style. Puppy mills were shut down. Gas prices plummeted. Pimples stopped existing. Everyone realized how awesome the Arctic Monkeys were. No one was judged.
And somewhere, out in a town called Scranton in the state of Pennsylvania, Pam and Jim got engaged.