A/N: Thanks a lot to Country2776 for giving me this plot bunny!
A tag to 5x02. Again. I know. That episode is probably my shared favorite episode (alongside Red Badge).
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. *pout*
Who would he see? Charlotte again? Or Angela? Or maybe a combination of them, and a pile of butchered bodies under a smiley face?
What had he done? He wasn't ready for this.
"Psst," somebody said behind him, and he turned around, hope building up inside him until he saw a beautiful woman standing in front of him – but not with dark-blonde hair but with black hair. She was just a little older than thirty, he guessed, and she strongly reminded him of somebody...
"Who are you?" Jane asked, and the woman smiled.
"You can guess. You're a smart man," she replied, and walked up to the window.
Jane frowned, and took a little longer in observing the woman when it hit him. He had seen her countless times on a picture in Lisbon's office.
"You're Lisbon's mother," he stated. The woman turned around to face him again, and nodded.
"But you can call me Claire, that's easier. I never liked that last name anyways," Claire said.
Jane frowned again, and approached her.
"Why do I see you? I haven't met you," he said. The woman smiled an almost angelic smile.
"You're a little bit stupid, Patrick. But that's okay. That's why I'm here to help you."
"How do you know my name?"
"There's room enough for a complete country in your memory palace, Patrick. That's how I know you definitely need help."
"But I don't need help-"
"Oh, please," Claire interrupted, came to stand beside Jane and clapped in her hands.
The two of them were in a church, a few people sitting in the front pews. There were four young children sitting next to each other, three boys and one girl. He knew that girl: he would recognize these sea-green eyes everywhere.
"That's Lisbon?"
Claire nodded. "This is my funeral. You know, I've been with Teresa ever since I died. I can find her because of that golden cross I gave her. And Teresa knows I'm with her."
Jane shook his head. "It's stupid-"
"It's stupid how you sold it years ago. I don't actually talk with her, Patrick. I just give her the feeling I'm there for her, every time she touches her necklace. It gives her hope, Patrick. Can't she even have hope?"
Jane raised his arms in defense. "Of course she can. I just find it stupid-"
"Because you don't believe in it. But you're not religious, are you?"
Jane shook his head.
"I'm not asking you to agree with it. The church has always given Teresa strength. It's difficult to break off that habit."
"Why does she need more strength? She's already strong enough by herself."
"She needs more strength because of idiots like you, who use her for their games and dump her like garbage when she served her purpose."
"Hey, I don't use Lisbon!"
Claire shook her head. "That's not important now. Teresa is... a bit naïve, sometimes. She never sees the bad side of somebody unless they have done something completely bad."
She clapped her hands again. They now were in a dark house, and Jane immediately assumed this was Lisbon's old home in Chicago.
"Why are you showing me this?" Jane asked. Claire held up her hand to show Jane that he had to have patience, and together they waited.
Then, they heard several screams and Jane looked at Claire. She looked at him as well, and he could see that this hurt for her.
A door opened, and a young Lisbon ran out, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Wait, little bitch!" a man screamed behind her, but Lisbon ran through Jane and Claire and towards the stairs, presumably to her room. The man picked up his pace and grabbed Lisbon's arm, turning her around.
"Listen to me, you spoiled little brat!" the man exclaimed. Jane could clearly see that she was scared, and his heart clenched.
"I hate you!" Lisbon exclaimed, and kicked the man on his upper leg, causing him to let go of her arm and letting out a cry of pain, and she took the opportunity to run upstairs, and soon, Jane and Claire heard a door slamming shut.
"I hate that girl," the man mumbled, stroking his leg and then stumbled back to the room he had left a few moments ago. Jane now saw he was carrying a bottle of liquor in his hand.
When Jane looked back at Claire, she had tears in her eyes.
"I loved him so much, and he loved me too. That's why it was so difficult for him to live without me. But I never wanted him to work off his anger on the kids."
Jane shook his head, not believing what was happening here.
Lisbon had once told him a bit about her past, but that was a slip of the tongue. She hadn't meant to share it with him. But Jane had never expected her to have been through this much bad – she hadn't looked older than thirteen in this flashback. This suddenly explained so much.
Claire wiped at her eyes and clapped in her hands again.
Jane saw an around eighteen year old Lisbon with, he assumed it was, Greg. A small smile crept up on his face, and when he looked at Claire, she was sharing the same expression.
"This is one of Teresa's happiest memories," Claire said, and smiled at her daughter, obviously proud. Greg pulled Lisbon in for a passionate kiss, and Lisbon seemed more than happy to comply.
"Teresa was eighteen here. She still looked after her brothers – which she shouldn't have done, but hey, she's an angel," Claire explained, rolling her eyes, and Jane smiled.
"She is," he simply said. Claire sighed, and clapped in her hands.
"Now what's so happy about this memory, Patrick?"
The paper frog. Jane smiled involuntarily, but he had no idea what was so special or important about the memory that Claire showed it to him. He shrugged.
"It was the moment she realized she was in love with you," Claire explained, and Jane froze.
Of course, he knew Lisbon was in love with him – she couldn't make it more obvious – but that long? It must have been six years ago that he gave her that paper frog.
Claire clapped, and Jane's body tensed once again. They were there.
"They were very beautiful, Patrick," Claire said, and came to stand next to where Angela had been laying in her own pool of blood.
"Don't..." Jane whispered. Claire looked at him.
"Don't what? So I can show you somebody else's pain without you complaining, but I can't confront you on your own past?"
Jane nodded. "That's right, you can't-"
"Teresa is this strong and stable because she learned to live with her past, Patrick. She doesn't mourn about it because it's history. She knows there's no reason in being sad and depressed about it because it won't happen to her again: she has lost both her parents already, that can't happen anymore. Her brothers are grown-ups now, she doesn't have to worry about them anymore. She broke up with Greg, no worries there. It all happened and it's all done. Her only worry is you. Because you haven't seen the truth yet. I'm not here to force you into forgetting about Angela and Charlotte, because that's not humane. I'm just here to let you see what you really mean to Teresa."
"I know what I mean to her-"
"Obviously you don't," she said, and clapped her hands.
They were in Lisbon's apartment, and Jane's heart clenched when he saw Lisbon was sitting on the couch, curled up into a small ball, and had silent tears running over her cheeks.
Jane walked up to her. "From when was this?"
Claire sighed. "From when you were in Las Vegas."
Jane's eyes widened. "She... she cried... about me?"
"You make conclusions pretty quickly, but yes, she cried about you. She feels responsible over you, and you were gone all of sudden, without telling her where you went or without letting her know if you were alive. Honestly, I would have felt exactly the same way as Teresa if somebody did that to me."
Jane knelt down in front of the couch and looked at Lisbon, her eyes red and her hair disheveled and fought back the urge to brush her cheek.
"I hate myself," Jane murmured.
"And you should," Claire said, on which Jane turned his head to look at her.
"Excuse me?"
Claire clapped in her hands, and they were back in the attic again. She came to stand before him – she was so short, Lisbon must have inherited that from her mother – and focused her eyes on his.
"Look, I don't hate you, but I start to dislike the way you're treating my little princess, Patrick. She has so much sadness that I can't handle it all on my own anymore. I need somebody to look after her for me, somebody real and not just somebody she feels in her heart. And if you treat her right, one of my biggest concerns is already gone. You understand what I'm saying?"
"No, not really."
"There's only one person in Teresa's life that hurts her. You. And I'm sure you don't even realize it. I've been trying to rid Teresa of all bad in her life, and most times, she's willing to let that thing go. But she can't seem to let you go. You understand my problem here, Patrick?"
Jane stared at Claire, but then just nodded.
"So I'm asking you: either forget about Teresa and leave her life, or let her in and make her happy. I will definitely try to haunt you if you make her unhappy again. Even without Bella Donna," she said, and pointed at the tea cup. "Oh, and it was a smart move to call Teresa Bella Donna. She liked that."
Jane looked at the tea cup, and then at Claire again.
"Let her in, Patrick. Despite what she tells you, she's not okay. She's still a woman, with feelings for her consultant who is oblivious and lives in the past. Let her in, it's not only about you anymore."
Jane took in a deep breath, looked into Claire's eyes and then ran off, out of the attic and into the bullpen.
Workaholic Lisbon is, she was in her office, of course. He saw she was yawning, obviously fighting sleep. She had slept way too less, and he knew a big part of that was because of him.
He stormed into her office and saw she startled when she saw him. Jane closed the blinds and the door.
"I didn't know you were still here-"
"I'm sorry, Teresa. I'm so, so sorry," Jane interrupted, and walked up to her, turning her chair around and lifting her up and into his arms. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
Lisbon hesitated when Jane's arms went around her to cradle her back almost painfully, before she gave in and wrapped her arms around him too.
When Jane opened his eyes and looked over Lisbon's shoulder, he saw Claire standing there, leaning against the wall and a small smile on her lips.
"You're not entirely done, Patrick. I'm not leaving until you are finished," Claire said, and Jane smiled, before he pulled away slightly from Lisbon and then leaned down to link their lips.
Once again, Lisbon's body tensed for a few moments before she gave in. He could feel her smiling against his lips. Her arms went to his neck, pulling him closer, and his arms held on her waist, preventing her from leaving him, though he was pretty sure she wouldn't do that.
"I love you, Teresa" Jane whispered between sweet kisses, and Lisbon let out a small, satisfied sigh. Jane pulled away and just smiled at Lisbon, finally letting her see his feelings for her in his eyes. "And I'm never letting you go. Never."
He placed a small kiss on her forehead. Claire approached them, and placed a hand on Jane's shoulder.
"Take care of her, Patrick," she said, and walked out of the room.
"Am I hallucinating?" Lisbon asked when Jane looked into her eyes again, and Jane shook his head.
"This is really happening, Teresa. And it should've happened sooner, before I screwed up everything and breaking your heart. For which I'm sorry, by the way."
Lisbon looked into his eyes, then rolled hers.
"I know you're sorry, you told me a dozen of times already now," Lisbon whispered. Jane shook his head.
"I can never say it enough."
Lisbon looked at him for a few seconds, her head slightly tilted. "Did you drink Bella Donna again?"
Jane's eyes widened, and shook his head. "What? No! A bit. Okay, yes, I did drink it, but-"
"I can't believe it-"
"I am perfectly clear now, Teresa. I'm not hallucinating, not anymore-"
"Were you hallucinating?"
Jane sighed, and nodded.
"Who did you see?"
"Your mother," Jane said, simply, and Lisbon gasped.
"My mother? Why my mother?"
"That doesn't matter now. Are my pupils dilated?" Jane asked, moving his face to just a few inches in front of Lisbon's, and she hesitated a bit before looking into his eyes.
"They are. Okay, you're going to the hospital," Lisbon said, and grabbed his arm. Jane took his arm back, and then placed both his hands on Lisbon's upper arms.
"There are more reasons for pupils to be dilated, Teresa," he said, his voice low and almost husky, and Lisbon frowned, before she realized what he was saying.
She went on tip-toe and placed a kiss on Jane's forehead. "I love you, Patrick. Even if you hallucinated about my dead mother."
"Do you want to talk about it, Teresa?" Jane asked, his voice teasing, and Lisbon shook her head.
"You're unbelievable."
"Unbelievably hot?"
"No. The pace in which you seem to be turning your problems into mine, that's unbelievable."
"I do it because I love you, Teresa," Jane said, and Lisbon rolled her eyes.
"Whatever," she said, and went to sit on her chair again, when Jane wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and started carrying her towards her couch.
"You're just going to sleep. No more paperwork for the next eight hours," Jane said, and laid her down on the couch, before laying down on it himself and preventing Lisbon from getting up. But in the way she relaxed in his arms, he knew she wasn't going to leave.
A/N: Yeah... Just let me know what you think in a REVIEW, thank you!