Second Chances

Poison Ivy woke up in a bed that wasn't hers. Not that this was unusual, she thought, as she looked around the room, but this wasn't the bed she was used to waking up in recently. Up until yesterday, she had been dating Lex Luthor, billionaire businessman and current United States presidential candidate. But last night, Lex had called to tell her it was over – not her fault, he assured her. It was just bad publicity for his presidential campaign to be dating a supercriminal. Ivy had played it cool, accepting his decision with good grace – their relationship had only been for fun, after all. But as the hours passed, she found herself feeling very lonely, and so despite her better nature, she had decided to call one of her exes to keep her company that night. And it was his room she was waking up in for sure – this particular ex personalized everything.

She slowly crept her way out of her side of the bed – the good side of the bed, with white sheets, as opposed to the bad side of the bed, which had black ones, and where her ex lay, still asleep.

She bent down to reach for her clothes, slipping them on hurriedly and tiptoeing toward the door. "You ain't gonna stay for breakfast?" muttered a familiar voice.

Ivy turned to smile at Two-Face, who was now sitting up on his half of the bed. "No, thanks, Harvey. I should be getting home…"

"You sure?" he asked. "I'd really like you to stay."

Ivy sighed inwardly. To be fair, it was unusual for her to hear that from a guy, and she decided to embrace the novelty. "Ok, if you want," she said, leaving the door and coming back over to the bed. Two-Face leaned forward to kiss her.

"Good morning," he whispered.

"Yeah…morning," she said, drawing away. "How'd you sleep, Harvey?"

"Very soundly," he said, grinning. "As you might imagine from all that exercise last night…"

"I'm glad," she said, hastily, as he tried to embrace her again. He looked at her in surprise.

"Something wrong, Pam?" he asked. "You seem a little…funny this morning."

"It's nothing, Harvey, it's just…" she trailed off. "I'm sorry. We shouldn't have done this."

He stared at her. "You regret it?"

"No, not regret it – I mean, it was a lotta fun last night," she agreed. "I just…don't want it to be anything more than that. This doesn't mean anything, y'know. I just wanna make sure you understand that."

He studied her. "Yeah, I know," he muttered at last, reaching for his clothes.

"Do you still want me to stay for breakfast?" she asked.

He nodded, dressing. "Might as well. Now that you're here."

"I did tell you last night, Harvey – I don't want you to get the wrong impression about our relationship," said Ivy.

"Yeah, sorry, I forgot our relationship was just about you using me when you feel like it," he muttered. "That is, when you ain't got another guy who's stupid enough to get involved with you."

"There's no need to take that tone," retorted Ivy, coldly. "You didn't have to invite me over."

"And you didn't have to call me," he snapped. "But you did, Pam. I thought that meant something at least."

"Yeah, it meant that you were available!" she snapped. "And willing!"

"And that's all?" he demanded.

"Yes, Harvey, that's all," she replied, firmly.

He grabbed her shoulders. "You don't care about me at all, do you, you selfish little tramp?!" he muttered. "All you care about is having a man to wrap your roots around until the next one becomes available!"

"You can look at it like that," hissed Ivy. "Or you can look at it as an arrangement that gives mutual pleasure to both of us…"

"I don't want an arrangement with you, Pammie!" he roared. "This ain't some legal contract or cold business deal! Or have you been around Luthor too long to remember what real human relationships are like?!"

"Every real human relationship I've been in has been pretty similar to this," snapped Ivy. "Humans take what they want from each other, they use each other, and then they leave each other. Why should I expect you to be any different to every other man I've dated?"

"Because I love you, Pam!" shouted Two-Face. "I love you!"

Ivy glared at him. "Well, I don't want you to love me, Harvey," she snapped. "I just want you to see our relationship the same way I do – as a casual, occasional pleasure. But I guess I shouldn't have encouraged your delusions. I knew this was a mistake," she snapped, heading for the door. "Next time I'll just call somebody else. Somebody less crazy."

"Well, good luck with that, since anybody who wants to get involved with you would have to be completely nuts!" snapped Two-Face.

Ivy glared at him. "See you around, Harvey," she muttered, opening the door and slamming it shut behind her.

"Morning, boss…oh…uh…hi…Miss…uh…Ivy," stammered one of Two-Face's henchmen as she strode down the hall of his hideout.

"He's gonna be in a bad mood," said Ivy, as she headed for the front door. "I'd clear out before he flips the coin to decide which one of you guys he shoots in the head."

She left the henchmen to their panicking and returned to her own hideout, which was a mistake. She walked through the door and was instantly slammed to the ground.

"Pamela Lillian Isley, you're under arrest for arson and murder. Anything you have to say can and will be used against you…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill," snapped Ivy, as her hands were cuffed behind her back. She glanced up at the officer on duty, and smiled. "Well, haven't seen you around before, handsome."

"It's my first day in the field," he admitted.

"Really? In that case, I'll take it easy on you," she said, grinning. "I'll even give you a confession. C'mere."

The officer leaned forward, and Ivy planted a kiss on his lips. "Now let me outta these and and defend me, sugar," she whispered.

The hypnotized officer obeyed her instantly, unlocking the handcuffs and pulling out his gun to fire at his comrades. Ivy used the chaos to race out of the building, heading to her car outside.

"Going somewhere, Ivy?" asked a familiar voice. She looked up to the roof just as Batman jumped down onto her, tackling her to the ground.

He slipped Batcuffs on her wrists and locked them to the drainpipe outside her house. He then rushed inside to handle the situation with the hypnotized cop.

Ivy shut her eyes, summoning her plants to help her, and vines snaked across her lawn, wrapping around the chain and snapping it in two.

"Thanks, babies," she said, racing toward her car. She leapt inside, screeching off into the streets of Gotham, but it wasn't long before a black figure landed on top of her hood. She veered erratically to try to shake him off, hitting fellow motorists until she careened into the guardrail on the Gotham Bridge. The car plunged over the edge as Batman kicked a hole in her windscreen. As the car fell, he grabbed her, shooting the Batclaw up to the bridge and pulling her up after him.

They climbed back onto the bridge and Batman slapped Batcuffs on her again. "Let's get you back to Arkham," he growled.

Ivy sighed heavily as she was dragged off. "Should have stayed for breakfast," she muttered.