Chapter One: Sob Story of My Life.

A/N: hi, so i haven't written any type of ff in literally yearsss soooo im just testing the waters to see how well i've adapted as a writer and have recently gotten into the Naruto series. dont worry tho it won't be all slang with bad grammar and analytical mistakes. (i hope) this is just a hobby but if this story gets more popular id love to post more often. let me know how i do in the comments or any suggestions that you would have for me to incorporate into the story, and plssss for the love of god enjoy it hahaha okay here is the deets:

y/n type story but i hate when things get steamy and i read "y/n" instead of a name so You are Izanami Akiyama, but the characters will call you by petnames/nicknames, occasionally by your last name. This is from third person for flashbacks but second person (ex: you raised your hand) and unless y'all ask for first person, i won't incorporate it :)
This story will include many ideas from YOU! anything you'd ever thought would be a good plot line or plot! I'll post credits for ideas in each chapter note. Takes place in a Shippuden AU between Pain/Pein killing Jiraiya, and the 4th Great Shinobi War. Except it wont happen. When Pain offed himself to save the Leaf, Sasuke had killed Danzo and Madara and took his eyes because Itachi wanted him to. He came back with the 1st through 7th tailed beasts, and the Five Kage reassigned them accordingly. He was no longer an outlaw, and is back training with Team 7 (yes that's a 4 man squad with Sai.)
Let me know if you want an official breakdown of what each of the main characters are doing/what they have learned. I have the main pairing in mind but don't worry, all of this takes place around Shippuden so at the age of 17 these kids are bound to fool around ;) Smut bound and kinks can be requested! (I WILL NOT DO NON-CON OR INCEST SORRY NOT SORRY.)

also this is an AU so there will be MODERN things that are NOT usually in fanfics such as smoking weed, sex(duh), the characters acting like average high schoolers, getting into shit they're not supposed to, doing things that are illegal, etc. TRIGGER WARNINGS WILL BE IN EACH CHAPTER SUMMARY IN ORDER TO HELP YOU AVOID SENSITIVE TOPICS/SCENES. I will not be doing in depth descriptions of anything triggering, but I know it is hard to read about some people's experiences without triggering memories that are upsetting. Any questions pm me on Fanfiction! I have the same handle (/hayateisdaddy) and I am quick to respond. Now let's get into it!

~Flashback~

It was dark. Almost too dark for Izanami Akiyama, a local high school freshman, as she walked from the community center where she was previously studying to her home at the orphanage. She had been there practically all day, learning more about Shinobi and Kunoichi, and practicing chakra control, per usual. She felt as though civilian life shouldn't be her only option, that she was bound to have more to her than her history. Fumbling in her thoughts, she stared at the ground as she walked. Distant shops were closing, and a low hum of families bidding their goodnights to one another was all she could hear as she passed house after house. Then, she stopped for a second, focusing her newfound chakra to her ears to better hear something she thought she imagined. Scratching? No. Scraping, maybe... No, carving. Followed by stifled laughter and shushes. She honed in as she crept towards the sound leading behind the shop into some bushes, on a self-assigned mission to find the miscreants. She was crouching to avoid being seen when she was lead to the village lake, scanning the area for the mysterious carving sound and the people creating them. Laughter echoed over the water, and she analyzed the ripples of the waves for direction.

"I hate this place! Always going on about loyalty and teamwork" grumbled a young voice, "Stupid sensei and their stupid sensei authority!" and Izanami quickly realized she was closer to them than she anticipated.

A shadow passed in front of her as it spoke as well, "Yeah, tell me about it. I just can't grasp their values. Why are civilians more important than us? Sometimes I feel like I don't belong here... Hey, let me try that Udon-chan." This one was more feminine than the other.

"Hey, Moegi-chan, why don't we just... get out of here? Y'know like just leave, and never come back!" it was almost a whisper... almost.

Izanami frowned, this village has taught her to give nothing but kindness, even when facing hard times. She felt as though that shinobi were the ones who had more freedom than civilians. It angered her to hear people speak about such a beautiful village, and strong shinobi force, disrespectfully, especially from academy students. She stepped out of the bushes, to reveal herself and faced them.

"Hey now, this village is more than simpleton civilians." She stated matter-of-factly and chuckled, startling the two, "You guys are younger than I thought. C'mon, now, when have rules ever said civilians are valued more than Shinobi?" She scrunched her face slightly as she spoke, sliding her hands into her pockets as she walked towards the Genin defacing the shop wall.

"What do you know, mother-killer?" The smaller one spat, flipping her kunai into her hand and holding it out to her side. Izanami was taken aback as the voice matched to who she assumed to be Moegi. They know who I am? She thought to herself.

"Yeah," laughed the boy, Udon, "Why don't you go back to the orphanage and worry about how you're gonna live when the Akatsuki take over and kill us all! You civilians won't have anyone to put their lives before you then, huh!" Udon cracked his knuckles and took a step towards her. "Get lost." He threatened.

"What was that?" She asked, staring at the ground before them.

"He said get lost, pumpkin!" The girl snarled, getting into a noticeably weak fighting stance, "Before you get hurt."

A moment passed as a cool breeze slipped between them, Izanami's hair gently flowing with it. "Get hurt, huh?" She smirked as she spoke, her sparkling confidence colliding with her pent-up anger. She looked up at the two boldly, and spoke with more passion than she wanted to,

"How dare you talk about hurt? Do you even know what it means to hurt? To be treated as a waste of space by people outside your clan for something out of your control?! Have you ever EXPERIENCED what it's like to believe that the end of your days couldn't come TOO SOON? Do you even have to IMAGINE what it's like to have a family? Or friends? OR TO HAVE PEOPLE BELIEVE IN YOU?!" She shouted as she threw her hands out at the Genin, flinging several kunai at them with such strength and precision they were pinned to the brick wall behind them.

"Hey!" Udon growled, "You're dead meat now!" The boy grunted, struggling to remove the kunai from the wall. The two kids were breathless from the impact, and enamored by her intense chakra while fumbling to get the blades out.

"You're just kids," She said she almost whispered, the hurt in her voice didn't go unnoticed. "You have so much more stuff to discover about the genuinely amazing things this village has to offer its Shinobi." She came close to them. Looking at each kid from head to toe.

"You just said yourself this village treats you like shit! So why are you trying to stop us from leaving?" Moegi asked, giving up on freeing herself.

"Because you Shinobi have far more value than you think. You have the freedom to be who you want to be, create friendships and discover all KINDS of things around the world. Through escort missions, through battles, wars, peace treaties, all that amazing stuff! You get to choose who you are. Civilians are either born and raised into a hardworking trade, or a family business or they're born into poverty and struggles that you don't have, like wondering when your next meal is." Coincidentally, her stomach let out a small growl. Embarrassed, her face flushed a little but she continued, starting to free the girl of her kunai "Or what it would be like if you died because nobody would notice. But Shinobi? Even Genin, if one of you falls, the whole village mourns. You guys are lucky. You lot are some of the most valued, if not the most valued, parts of the village."

When Moegi was freed she pondered over possibly attacking Izanami, but she decided against it and simply started to help the civilian free her former classmate.

"And you shouldn't talk about your senseis like that. They only want you to better yourselves for the sake of the village." Izanami flashed a smirk at Mei as she noticed her helping out but struggling to pull the kunai with two hands. "And you! Moegi, right? Remember, you signed up for this. If you weren't smart enough to realize that it would come with authorities telling you what to do and to have more of a team mentality, then I can only assume you cheated on your exams." Izanami joked, knowing full and well that these genin were just blowing off some steam after some dumb D-rank mission or training day. But she was hoping they wouldn't actually leave the village because of it.

"Hmph." Udon grunted as she pulled the last kunai out of the wall and he dropped to the ground.

They were maybe a foot shorter than her, with Moegi having but an inch or two over Udon.

"I didn't cheat..." He mumbled. "I just... It's really that I hate the people on my team. They make me feel like I'm never gonna be anything but a genin! Like I'm weak, and like a civilian could beat me!" Anger poured from his eyes as he stared Izanami down. "And I guess one could, seeing as you were able to catch us off guard like that.. All I ever wanted was to be good shinobi. But it seems like I can never be good enough. That's why I want to leave." He said, pocketing his hands as Izanami sighed.

"I'm sure you're good, strong shinobi. I was just like you guys when I was your age, eager and inspired by ninja to the point that i only wanted to be the best one! But the civilian world is different. At the orphanage, they insisted on finding a 'real' job because they thought I couldn't, or shouldn't make it as a ninja." She said, looking down at the kunai she collected, "And these kunai. These are all I have left of my dad. He left the village when he found out he got my mom pregnant. He told her he was going on a mission one day, and just never came back." Stiffening the rest of her body, she put her kunai away. The Genin looked at her with guilt. Not knowing what to say, when she spoke again:

"When mom gave birth to me, she lost a lot of blood and would continue to suffer from immense blood loss anytime she bled but, she managed to teach me a few things about my clan, my bloodline. Against doctors orders, she had also tried her best to teach me to fight. One day, after we hd been arguing in our house, she dragged me to the Training grounds here in the village. People stared at us because they knew she was a powerful shinobi before she got pregnant, and looked at me as if I was her downfall. We argued when we arrived, over something I dont even remember! But she threw this pouch of kunai at my feet and we started our fight. She had only taught me taijutsu, and I had no idea how it felt to throw kunai or where to aim but we went at it. Not knowing my strength, I had thrown one of those kunai at her during training and it landed.. The clan wasn't supposed to know about our training but with so many people who watched us storm through crowds, they had sent someone to stop her from what looked like her abusing me. So when my kunai actually hit her, I didn't know what to do. I screamed and grabbed her as quickly as possible. She died in my arms right before I got to the hospital." The young Genin gasped, covering her mouth over with her hand, as Izzy continued, "I didn't even get to say anything when someone from the Police Force said I had killed her during a fight. No one believed my story because an eye witness said that they heard fighting and when they saw us, they only saw me yell at her and throw the kunai."

Silence fell upon them.

"I... I'm so sorry about what I said earlier... I didn't know." Moegi said, her once snappy voice now filled with sorrow.

"It's not your fault, soon as my case settled they just threw me in the orphanage and told everyone I killed my mom but since I was a kid I couldn't be put in jail because a shinobi who knew my family said that I could not have done it with intent. But nobody wanted to adopt me after, and thus the damage continued to be done. People gossiped about me like I was a monster. Kids refused to be my friend, and teachers didn't give me credit where I deserved. Giving me low grades and claiming I never did my work so that I would look bad on paper and no one would hire me even once I aged out of the system."

This infuriated Udon, "So they didn't even care?! Even if you had done it on purpose, why wouldn't they try to help you get better? Why would they try to keep you down?!" He yelled, balling his fists at his sides.

Izanami shrugged, "They even changed my name y'know. They call me Izanami because it means the goddess of life and death. As if I was given life to take my mother's away." The kids gasped, "Yeah, I don't even remember what my name used to be. But," she inhaled deeply, "That's enough out of me, whaddaya say we go apologize to the shop owner about this thing you engraved on the wall?" She swung her arm in front her gently she spoke while tilting her head towards the direction she was pointing, her eyes squinting as she smiled beneath her mask.

"Yeah.." The embarrassed Genin said at the same time as they flushed, Udon putting a hand behind his head to scratch it, and Moegi burying her face into her hands. After they expressed their apologies and told the shop owner they would pay for the repairs, the pair bid goodnight to the soon-to-be Shinobi, thanking her for changing their minds.

What a crazy night she thought to herself later as she laid in bed, messing with the necklace she kept underneath her clothes. Maybe I should sign up to be a Shinobi, y'know mom? she kissed her necklace and turned to her side, letting her over-worked brain take control of her body as she drifted off to sleep.