Where I Belong
Jason Morgan stood, frozen in his spot as he watched in horror as his ex wife locked lips with his enemy. Jason clenched his hands into fists at his side, not able to turn away from the awful image before him. He had known that Courtney would move on eventually, he had seen signs that there was something between her and Jax, but witnessing it himself, watching as his ex-wife makes out with him...is all too real for him. As Jason finally snaps back to reality he turns on his heels and walks in the opposite direction. No clue as to where he was going, all he knew was he needed to be as far away from the sight he had just seen as possible.
As he walked through the park, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute, each beat felt as though it were going to break through his chest and spill onto the ground before him. His eyes stinging with the realization that it really was over. Courtney had moved on, she had made space in her heart for someone new and she was flaunting it for the world to see. He could not blame her for moving on; he just wished she would not be so naive as to fall for Jasper Jax and his old tricks. But apparently no women, not even Courtney Morgan or...Matthews could fight the temptation that Jax seemed to give. Jason always had hope in his heart for someday reconciliation between himself and his former wife, but today was the day he realized how her life is without him in it. She is not afraid anymore, she's not crying or screaming...she's not begging for Jax not to go, she's calm, she's relaxed. Just the way she smiled at Jax showed was enough for Jason to realize what he had done to her. When she was with him she had this huge weight on her fragile little shoulders, she had a look of pain in her eyes, fear whenever he would walk out the door, fear of him getting shot, or arrested, fear of never hearing from him again. Yet when she looked at Jax tonight...Jason saw the look in her eyes. It was a look that showed she was not afraid for him, she knew when Jax said goodnight that he would be back tomorrow, she knew there were no risks in him, she knew that Jax could fly across the world and she would not have to worry about him. She looked relaxed for the very first time since they were married and Jason realized...she looked happy. A look he had not seen in her eyes since their wedding night, a look sometimes he never thought he'd see again. Yet he was happy to see it, he was happy to know she had found someone to make her smile like that, make her laugh, make her eyes sparkle again. Except...he always hoped it would be him.
Jason finally allowed for his legs to rest as he stopped walking. Looking around he noticed where he was. The docks. He walked to the edge of the dock, and looked out at the water. Lifting his arm he wiped viciously at his eyes as to stop the tears that threatened to spill over. No one has ever made Jason Morgan want to cry. Sure, it was possible with Jason Quattermaine but that was a whole different person. A whole other lifetime, a whole other life. This is Jason Morgan now, and Jason Morgan would not allow for his emotions to show. No matter what the circumstance. No matter who it is. But for some reason Courtney always managed to get to him, even when she wasn't trying to. Jason cleared his throat, as he lost himself in the ocean. Memories of their time together flooding his mind.
"Jason?" Jason turned around at the sound of a women's voice. A part of him wished it was Courtney, coming to tell him that her kissing Jax was a mistake, or a way to make him jealous. But he knew it was not possible. As the women stepped out of the shadow he recognized her right away.
"Elizabeth." He said as he looked at her. "When did you get back?" He asked. He had been informed that Elizabeth had left town not too long ago, assumed it had to do with Ric and their baby. Jason still could not understand what Elizabeth saw in Ric Lansing. The man was a complete lunatic. He kidnapped Carly, tried to steal her baby, not to mention his attempts at drugging Elizabeth and she knew all of this. Yet she continued to stay by his side. Loyal and strong. Just like Elizabeth though. When she fell in love with someone she loved them with every fiber of her being. Every ounce of her soul, every beat of her heart. And she would not let them think she would ever leave them. No matter what the crime, she was always by their side. Strong as ever...Elizabeth's love is something to change a man. Jason knew that in the way Ric was when he was with her. And sometimes, back in the days...Jason wished he had what it took to change himself for her. She was one of the few people who made Jason be proud and made him feel like himself.
"A few days ago. I'm trying to lay low for a little bit. You know...stay out of sight I guess." Elizabeth said to him with a small smile.
As she approached him Jason knew right away that she could sense something was wrong with him, just in the way she looked at him. The way her eyes somewhat widened when she grew closer to him.
"Are you ok?" She asked him as she looked up at him.
Jason nodded, once again plastering that look of strength on his face. "Yeah. Rough night." He said to her with a small smile. She looked amazing; her hair was the first thing he noticed about her, that and her eyes. It was not hard to imagine that Elizabeth was a mother. She was always protective of those she loved, strong when needed; she could be weak when she had to as well. Elizabeth had all the maternal instincts of a natural born mother, and it was one of the reasons he always knew she would make an amazing women.
It was then that he noticed the sleeping baby in the carriage beside her. "What's his name?" Jason asked, as he looked down at the beautiful baby.
Elizabeth followed Jason's eyes and her whole face lit up when she laid eyes on her son. "I named him Cameron. After Zander's father." Elizabeth said, not tearing her eyes away from him. She bent down and pulled the tiny blanket up closer to him, tucking it under his chin as she made sure he was warm.
Jason watched as she went right into mother mode and made sure her son was comfortable. "He's beautiful." Jason commented as he smiled down at him. Children were always one of the few things that could ever make Jason Morgan go soft. Ever since he had Michael, Jason always knew his goal in life was to one day be a father. And then as everything in his life changed so drastically, when Courtney told him they could not have children...no matter how hard he tried to cover it up...a piece of Jason had died. Just knowing he would never be able to hold a baby in his arms and know it was his, know it belonged to him...it tore him up inside. It made him realize his life is not going to turn out the way he had always wanted. But now that he still has Michael and Morgan...it doesn't change the fact that they are not his. He may never get a chance to be the kind of father Sonny is, or to be able to hold his own child.
Elizabeth finally looked up, locking eyes with Jason as she smiled softly at him. "So, how's Em doing?" Elizabeth asked.
Jason knew Elizabeth did not know about Nikolas, he knew that Emily has yet to bring herself to really tell anyone that Nikolas Cassadine was no longer dead, that he was just a man who lost his way and has yet to find it back. By the look in her eyes, a part of Jason wished he could come out and tell Elizabeth that Nikolas is alive, tell her that Emily is trying to help him find his way back...but he knew he could not do that. He would be betraying the trust of his sister, the only relative he has left who he can really trust completely, who trusts him. He could never betray her like that. No matter how he felt about her decisions.
"She's...ok." Jason said to her. Elizabeth nodded as she walked over to the bench behind them, pulling little Cameron and his carriage along beside her, sitting down. She folded her hands before her, and stared at them with such concentration that Jason knew she was thinking about Nikolas.
Taking the few steps back he sat down beside her. Looking at her as her eyes began to water. "Are you ok?" He asked her, knowing full well just how important NIkolas was to her as well.
"Nikolas was one of my best friends, Jason. And Sometimes I just...I just sit down and I think about him. And...and about Emily. Sometimes I even..." She wiped away the tears as she let out a slight hint of a laugh. "I think about those nights at Kelly's, me...Lucky...Nikolas and Emily...I think about how young we were and how we all thought that...that...that was our lives. That we would be friends forever we would...we would be there for each other that nothing could ever ruin our friendship...nothing could ever keep..." She stopped talking as she sniffled slightly. "Then everything happened. The fire...losing Lucky..and through that all Nikolas and Emily were there for me, Jason." She said as she looked up at him, her dark eyes staring directly into his. "They helped me deal with Lucky's death and now..Emily is in the same position and I turn and leave town. How could I do that to her?" Elizabeth asked.
Jason sat in silence as she let her emotions out, as she confessed to him the guilt inside of her. He knew how she must be feeling. She feels like she betrayed her best friend. "You didn't do anything wrong." He comforted her. "She wasn't alone, she had Lucky here and you had to worry about your own problems. Like your baby." Jason said to her. "Emily understands that, she knows you had to do what you had to do. She would never hold you guilty for following your heart." He said, repeating the words of his wise beyond her year's sister.
"I just can't shake this feeling that Emily is still holding onto a piece of Nikolas, still holding on to hope that he is still alive. Just like I did with Lucky." Elizabeth whispered. She turned her attention back to Cameron, smiling at him. Jason knew she was just doing it as a way to avoid his eyes, to keep him from seeing her cry.
Digging into the pocket of his leather jacket he searched for something she could use as a Kleenex. As he fished around he pulled out a small piece of paper. "It's not much but.." He said to her with a small smile as he held the piece of paper out to him. Elizabeth allowed herself to laugh at his jester. Taking the piece of paper with a grateful smile as she used it to dab at the tears streaming down her face.
"I just wish I had stayed here for her." She whispered so softly, Jason had to struggle to hear her.
Before Jason had a chance to respond, the sound of Cameron's cries struck through the silent night sky. Elizabeth stood up as she bent over the carriage holding her son. Reaching down she lifted him up in her arms and rocked him back and forth. Jason stood as well as he watched in amazement as Elizabeth comforted her child. Smiling at her as the baby finally calmed down and stopped crying.
Elizabeth turned to him, returning his smile. For a moment the two stood there in silence, smiling at each other, and then at Cameron. Finally Elizabeth broke the silence.
"Do you want to hold him?" She asked him.
"Sure." Jason said as Elizabeth closed the gap between them, lowering her son into the arms of Jason.
As she backed away Jason wrapped his arms around the child, and stared down at him. Smiling at the baby as he rocked him back and forth. Cameron opened his tiny little eyes and locked eyes with Jason. As he slowly smiled, a slight giggle escaped his tiny little lips, which caused Jason's smile to widen. All a while Elizabeth stood by, staring lovingly at her son, and the man who held him so protectively.
Jason watched as Cameron finally drifted off to sleep. Moments later he walked over to the carriage and lowered him into it, unwrapping his arms from the small child as he took the blanket and tucked it under his chin.
"He's amazing." Jason said softly, still not pulling his eyes away from the baby.
Just then the sound of a cell phone ring broke through the night. Elizabeth shuffled in her purse as she finally pulled out her ringing phone.
"Hello?" She answered as she held the phone up to her ear. "Ok. Bye." As she hung up the phone she placed it back in her purse and looked back to Jason.
"I should be getting him to bed." Elizabeth said as she looked back up at Jason. He nodded as he stepped aside.
"I'll see you later." He said to her, she smiled and nodded as she walked past him and off into the darkness.
Jason stood there for a long moment, watching the corner she had just slipped by. A smile playing at the corner of his lips. For those few moments they just shared...he had forgotten all about Courtney.
Jason Morgan stood, frozen in his spot as he watched in horror as his ex wife locked lips with his enemy. Jason clenched his hands into fists at his side, not able to turn away from the awful image before him. He had known that Courtney would move on eventually, he had seen signs that there was something between her and Jax, but witnessing it himself, watching as his ex-wife makes out with him...is all too real for him. As Jason finally snaps back to reality he turns on his heels and walks in the opposite direction. No clue as to where he was going, all he knew was he needed to be as far away from the sight he had just seen as possible.
As he walked through the park, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute, each beat felt as though it were going to break through his chest and spill onto the ground before him. His eyes stinging with the realization that it really was over. Courtney had moved on, she had made space in her heart for someone new and she was flaunting it for the world to see. He could not blame her for moving on; he just wished she would not be so naive as to fall for Jasper Jax and his old tricks. But apparently no women, not even Courtney Morgan or...Matthews could fight the temptation that Jax seemed to give. Jason always had hope in his heart for someday reconciliation between himself and his former wife, but today was the day he realized how her life is without him in it. She is not afraid anymore, she's not crying or screaming...she's not begging for Jax not to go, she's calm, she's relaxed. Just the way she smiled at Jax showed was enough for Jason to realize what he had done to her. When she was with him she had this huge weight on her fragile little shoulders, she had a look of pain in her eyes, fear whenever he would walk out the door, fear of him getting shot, or arrested, fear of never hearing from him again. Yet when she looked at Jax tonight...Jason saw the look in her eyes. It was a look that showed she was not afraid for him, she knew when Jax said goodnight that he would be back tomorrow, she knew there were no risks in him, she knew that Jax could fly across the world and she would not have to worry about him. She looked relaxed for the very first time since they were married and Jason realized...she looked happy. A look he had not seen in her eyes since their wedding night, a look sometimes he never thought he'd see again. Yet he was happy to see it, he was happy to know she had found someone to make her smile like that, make her laugh, make her eyes sparkle again. Except...he always hoped it would be him.
Jason finally allowed for his legs to rest as he stopped walking. Looking around he noticed where he was. The docks. He walked to the edge of the dock, and looked out at the water. Lifting his arm he wiped viciously at his eyes as to stop the tears that threatened to spill over. No one has ever made Jason Morgan want to cry. Sure, it was possible with Jason Quattermaine but that was a whole different person. A whole other lifetime, a whole other life. This is Jason Morgan now, and Jason Morgan would not allow for his emotions to show. No matter what the circumstance. No matter who it is. But for some reason Courtney always managed to get to him, even when she wasn't trying to. Jason cleared his throat, as he lost himself in the ocean. Memories of their time together flooding his mind.
"Jason?" Jason turned around at the sound of a women's voice. A part of him wished it was Courtney, coming to tell him that her kissing Jax was a mistake, or a way to make him jealous. But he knew it was not possible. As the women stepped out of the shadow he recognized her right away.
"Elizabeth." He said as he looked at her. "When did you get back?" He asked. He had been informed that Elizabeth had left town not too long ago, assumed it had to do with Ric and their baby. Jason still could not understand what Elizabeth saw in Ric Lansing. The man was a complete lunatic. He kidnapped Carly, tried to steal her baby, not to mention his attempts at drugging Elizabeth and she knew all of this. Yet she continued to stay by his side. Loyal and strong. Just like Elizabeth though. When she fell in love with someone she loved them with every fiber of her being. Every ounce of her soul, every beat of her heart. And she would not let them think she would ever leave them. No matter what the crime, she was always by their side. Strong as ever...Elizabeth's love is something to change a man. Jason knew that in the way Ric was when he was with her. And sometimes, back in the days...Jason wished he had what it took to change himself for her. She was one of the few people who made Jason be proud and made him feel like himself.
"A few days ago. I'm trying to lay low for a little bit. You know...stay out of sight I guess." Elizabeth said to him with a small smile.
As she approached him Jason knew right away that she could sense something was wrong with him, just in the way she looked at him. The way her eyes somewhat widened when she grew closer to him.
"Are you ok?" She asked him as she looked up at him.
Jason nodded, once again plastering that look of strength on his face. "Yeah. Rough night." He said to her with a small smile. She looked amazing; her hair was the first thing he noticed about her, that and her eyes. It was not hard to imagine that Elizabeth was a mother. She was always protective of those she loved, strong when needed; she could be weak when she had to as well. Elizabeth had all the maternal instincts of a natural born mother, and it was one of the reasons he always knew she would make an amazing women.
It was then that he noticed the sleeping baby in the carriage beside her. "What's his name?" Jason asked, as he looked down at the beautiful baby.
Elizabeth followed Jason's eyes and her whole face lit up when she laid eyes on her son. "I named him Cameron. After Zander's father." Elizabeth said, not tearing her eyes away from him. She bent down and pulled the tiny blanket up closer to him, tucking it under his chin as she made sure he was warm.
Jason watched as she went right into mother mode and made sure her son was comfortable. "He's beautiful." Jason commented as he smiled down at him. Children were always one of the few things that could ever make Jason Morgan go soft. Ever since he had Michael, Jason always knew his goal in life was to one day be a father. And then as everything in his life changed so drastically, when Courtney told him they could not have children...no matter how hard he tried to cover it up...a piece of Jason had died. Just knowing he would never be able to hold a baby in his arms and know it was his, know it belonged to him...it tore him up inside. It made him realize his life is not going to turn out the way he had always wanted. But now that he still has Michael and Morgan...it doesn't change the fact that they are not his. He may never get a chance to be the kind of father Sonny is, or to be able to hold his own child.
Elizabeth finally looked up, locking eyes with Jason as she smiled softly at him. "So, how's Em doing?" Elizabeth asked.
Jason knew Elizabeth did not know about Nikolas, he knew that Emily has yet to bring herself to really tell anyone that Nikolas Cassadine was no longer dead, that he was just a man who lost his way and has yet to find it back. By the look in her eyes, a part of Jason wished he could come out and tell Elizabeth that Nikolas is alive, tell her that Emily is trying to help him find his way back...but he knew he could not do that. He would be betraying the trust of his sister, the only relative he has left who he can really trust completely, who trusts him. He could never betray her like that. No matter how he felt about her decisions.
"She's...ok." Jason said to her. Elizabeth nodded as she walked over to the bench behind them, pulling little Cameron and his carriage along beside her, sitting down. She folded her hands before her, and stared at them with such concentration that Jason knew she was thinking about Nikolas.
Taking the few steps back he sat down beside her. Looking at her as her eyes began to water. "Are you ok?" He asked her, knowing full well just how important NIkolas was to her as well.
"Nikolas was one of my best friends, Jason. And Sometimes I just...I just sit down and I think about him. And...and about Emily. Sometimes I even..." She wiped away the tears as she let out a slight hint of a laugh. "I think about those nights at Kelly's, me...Lucky...Nikolas and Emily...I think about how young we were and how we all thought that...that...that was our lives. That we would be friends forever we would...we would be there for each other that nothing could ever ruin our friendship...nothing could ever keep..." She stopped talking as she sniffled slightly. "Then everything happened. The fire...losing Lucky..and through that all Nikolas and Emily were there for me, Jason." She said as she looked up at him, her dark eyes staring directly into his. "They helped me deal with Lucky's death and now..Emily is in the same position and I turn and leave town. How could I do that to her?" Elizabeth asked.
Jason sat in silence as she let her emotions out, as she confessed to him the guilt inside of her. He knew how she must be feeling. She feels like she betrayed her best friend. "You didn't do anything wrong." He comforted her. "She wasn't alone, she had Lucky here and you had to worry about your own problems. Like your baby." Jason said to her. "Emily understands that, she knows you had to do what you had to do. She would never hold you guilty for following your heart." He said, repeating the words of his wise beyond her year's sister.
"I just can't shake this feeling that Emily is still holding onto a piece of Nikolas, still holding on to hope that he is still alive. Just like I did with Lucky." Elizabeth whispered. She turned her attention back to Cameron, smiling at him. Jason knew she was just doing it as a way to avoid his eyes, to keep him from seeing her cry.
Digging into the pocket of his leather jacket he searched for something she could use as a Kleenex. As he fished around he pulled out a small piece of paper. "It's not much but.." He said to her with a small smile as he held the piece of paper out to him. Elizabeth allowed herself to laugh at his jester. Taking the piece of paper with a grateful smile as she used it to dab at the tears streaming down her face.
"I just wish I had stayed here for her." She whispered so softly, Jason had to struggle to hear her.
Before Jason had a chance to respond, the sound of Cameron's cries struck through the silent night sky. Elizabeth stood up as she bent over the carriage holding her son. Reaching down she lifted him up in her arms and rocked him back and forth. Jason stood as well as he watched in amazement as Elizabeth comforted her child. Smiling at her as the baby finally calmed down and stopped crying.
Elizabeth turned to him, returning his smile. For a moment the two stood there in silence, smiling at each other, and then at Cameron. Finally Elizabeth broke the silence.
"Do you want to hold him?" She asked him.
"Sure." Jason said as Elizabeth closed the gap between them, lowering her son into the arms of Jason.
As she backed away Jason wrapped his arms around the child, and stared down at him. Smiling at the baby as he rocked him back and forth. Cameron opened his tiny little eyes and locked eyes with Jason. As he slowly smiled, a slight giggle escaped his tiny little lips, which caused Jason's smile to widen. All a while Elizabeth stood by, staring lovingly at her son, and the man who held him so protectively.
Jason watched as Cameron finally drifted off to sleep. Moments later he walked over to the carriage and lowered him into it, unwrapping his arms from the small child as he took the blanket and tucked it under his chin.
"He's amazing." Jason said softly, still not pulling his eyes away from the baby.
Just then the sound of a cell phone ring broke through the night. Elizabeth shuffled in her purse as she finally pulled out her ringing phone.
"Hello?" She answered as she held the phone up to her ear. "Ok. Bye." As she hung up the phone she placed it back in her purse and looked back to Jason.
"I should be getting him to bed." Elizabeth said as she looked back up at Jason. He nodded as he stepped aside.
"I'll see you later." He said to her, she smiled and nodded as she walked past him and off into the darkness.
Jason stood there for a long moment, watching the corner she had just slipped by. A smile playing at the corner of his lips. For those few moments they just shared...he had forgotten all about Courtney.