CHAINSAW

Ⅰ POV Ronan

Ronan was drinking. A lot.

But drinking made his dreams more easy to shape and control. He wanted to get lost in a deep sleep where not even Dick Gansey III could get to him. Ronan blinked his eyes. His mind and vision getting fuzzy. He let an empty bottle drop from his hand and let his heavy eyelids cover his eyes. He knew he shouldn't be drunk. He knew that Gansey wouldn't be happy. But after a fight with Declan, how else was he supposed to get to sleep? He sighed and drifted off, letting his mind take him to his dreams, where there was peace and no older brothers.

Ronan opened his eyes to complete blackness. He looked around, confused that there wasn't a clear plot or story in his dream. What was going on? He looked around, not sure whether or not to be concerned, curious, or angry. He decided to be curious and turned his head in the blackness. But when he tried to lift his leg he couldn't. It was stuck in place. He writhed around in place, willing for his mind to let him move, but nothing was working. He tried to yell, but his voice wouldn't work. He tried everything, anything, until he heard a voice.

"Chainsaw," it was a girl's voice. Different than the orphan girl's voice. "Her name is Chainsaw," and that was all she said, just let him stand there in total blackness until a tiny black bird stumbled out of the shadows. It looked up at Ronan with dark, almost-black blue eyes. He concentrated. Not enough to wake himself up, but enough to make sure that he could move again.

"Kerah," the bird. Ronan carefully picked up the bird and immediately felt her racing heartbeat against his fingers, her tiny body warming his palms.

Then he heard Gansey's voice.

"Wake up, dude," Ronan came out of sleep and struggled to move, although he was used to the frozen feeling after a dream. He rolled his shoulder and forced his eyes open. Gansey's breath rushed out of his mouth. "You bastard," Ronan ignored him and said,

"I couldn't dream," then, looking up at Gansey's face said, "I promised you it wouldn't happen again," Gansey took a deep breath, clearly trying to keep a straight face and not yell at Ronan.

"But you're a liar," he said simply, and Ronan frowned.

"I think," he replied, "that you're mistaking me for my brother," Gansey sighed.

"When I told you I didn't want you getting drunk at Monmouth, I didn't mean I wanted you drunk somewhere else," Gansey said irritably.

"Pot calling the kettle back," Ronan almost laughed.

"I drink," Gansey said smugly. "I do not get drunk," but his words were nothing to Ronan, for right at that moment a certain raven twitched against his chest. He looked down at Chainsaw.

"What is that?" Gansey asked him, following his gaze to his chest. He reached his hand out to pull Ronan's fingers away, but upon touching the tiny body, jerked his hand away. "Christ," he muttered, "Is that a bird?" Ronan pushed himself into a sitting position, careful not to jostle the tiny bird's body.

"Raven," he confirmed. "Maybe a crow. But I doubt it. I…" he lost his train of thought. "Yeah, seriously doubt it. Corvus corax," Gansey looked surprised, and Ronan took great pride in that.

"Where did it come from?"

"I found it,"

"People find pennies. Or car keys. Or four-leaf clovers," Gansey replied.

"And ravens," Ronan shot back. "You're just jealous 'cause-" Ronan momentarily forgot where he was going with his conversation, but it came back to ham almost as quickly as it had gone. "'Cause you didn't find one too," he scraped Chainsaw's bird crap off of the pew beside him, then handed the paper he had used to Gansey. Gansey wrinkled his nose and said,

"What if I implement a no-pets policy at the apartment?"

"Well, hell, man," Ronan grinned wickedly. "you can't just throw out Noah like that," Gansey didn't smile. So Ronan ignored the other boy and looked down at his new friend. The Ronan on the outside didn't show much of the Ronan on the inside, but from now on, the whole world would see Ronan's affection towards this tiny bird.

"C'mon," Gasey said. "we're going back. Get up," Ronan stood, making Chainsaw bunch up.

"Get used to some turbulence, you little bastard," he said, not really meaning it.

"You can't name it that," Gansey said stupidly.

"Her name's Chainsaw," Ronan said, looking over to where she pointed her beak and noticing Noah standing in the shadows. "Noah. You're creepy as hell back there,"

The next night, Ronan actually slept a bit.

When he opened his eyes in his dream, he found himself in the same position as he had been in the night before. Stuck, unable to move in pitch darkness. He wriggled around, trying to get free.

"Don't struggle. It will simply drain your energy," a young girl said through the murky darkness. He recognized it as the same voice from when he had brought back Chainsaw. He spun, nearly getting whiplash. The words were in Latin as usual, but the voice was different from the one he usually heard. Instead of the fragile voice of the orphan girl, this voice was strangely soothing and more high pitched. He opened his mouth and asked,

"Who are you?! Where are you?!" or at least, he thought he did, but his voice was still silent.

"Who am I?" she chuckled. "Where am I? See for yourself, Ronan Lynch," he was about to ask what the voice meant when a tiny black creature stepped out of the shadows.

"You're Chainsaw," Ronan whispered, and this time his voice was real, not soundless like it had been before. At the sound of his own voice he realized he could once again feel his arms, and bent to pick up the baby bird. His thin, sinewy hands curled around the tiny body and he felt the rapid heartbeat throb at his fingertips. Just like his bird.

"What is your name?" Ronan asked the raven, not expecting an answer. But to his surprise, a small girl dressed in black stepped up, her voice matching the one that had rung out around him moments ago. He always expected the small, blonde, orphan girl, but this time the girl had jet-black hair, tied up but still hanging down to her waist.

"Chainsaw," she said, walking closer to him. His instinct told him to get up and run, but Ronan Lynch was a rebel. He stood and stared at the black-haired girl, cupping the tiny, throbbing body closer to his chest.

"So Chainsaw is still here?" he asked her, almost chuckling at the interesting name.

"Yes," answered the girl. "I am Chainsaw,"

"You're my bird?" He asked, now confused.

"We are one in the same. Two different bodies for one soul," she whispered, edging closer. Ronan looked into her black eyes, considering her words. No, not black, dark blue, just like the raven who was sleeping in his room at that very moment. Her creepily dark eyes seemed to cast an eerie glow over her thin face. Ronan nodded, looking at the tiny body he had in his hands.

"Is this a dream?" he asked Chainsaw, though he knew the answer before it left her lips.

"Well, kind of," she said, stepping even closer and resting her tiny hand on his broad shoulder. "You're thinking. Not exactly dreaming," Ronan nodded, not really understanding.

"Will I see you again? Or will it be the other girl next time?"

"That is for you to find out," she whispered and started to fade.

"Wait, what do I do with her?" he asked the girl, then noticing his mistake, "What do I do with you, I mean,"

"Leave this part of me in your mind," the girl said, fading back into the dark around them. Then louder, "Care for the part of me still in your world," Ronan looked around, feeling the pulse in his chest quickening. Then he woke to a baby raven screeching for food.

"Aw, shut up Chainsaw," he muttered, rolling out of his bed and grabbing her food.

"Kerah," she answered. Apparently that was his name in Raven.