"Murphy? Murph. Muuuuurphyyyyyy."

Murphy ignored his brother's voice.

"Murph, if you don't let me the fuck in, god damn it, I will shoot down this fucking door."

"Fuck you!"

BANG.

Connor pushed the door in gently. It landed with a loud SMACK on the floor.

Murphy stared at the door. He didn't think Connor would actually do it. "What the fuck?"

"You been in here for two months! It's St. Paddy's day, yea? Time to get the fuck over it and go have a fucking beer!"

"No fucking way."

"Aye, brother, I ain't fucking asking. I'm telling." Connor grabbed Murphy's arm and dragged him out of the corner where Murphy was sitting.

Murphy swatted Connor's hand away. "Get the fuck away from me!"
"Fuck, Murph! Just because that girl fucking messed you up - "

Murphy pulled Connor's leg out from him. Connor fell flat on his back.

"We don't fucking TALK about her," Murphy warned.

Connor sat up with an innocent expression on his face. "Talk about who?"

"You know fucking well who!"

"What was her name again?" Connor tapped his chin. "Something fucking weird… Artemis, or Aphrodite, or something fucking Greek…"

Murphy lunged at Connor. Connor neatly scooted backwards.

"Look at this! Not very fucking friendly, Murphy, what would your mother say?"

"Fuck off."

"Aye, that is what she's fucking say. Mind you, she didn't meet your friend, your friend was pretty fucking friendly… wasn't she?"

"Shut your fucking mouth!"

"Aw, come on, Murph, she was quite the hospitable type… what was it, a fucking week she kept you in her fucking basement?"

"Twenty six fucking days, mother fucker," Murphy growled.

"Aye, that's not so fucking bad. The way you're fucking goin' on about it, you'd think you were fucking pregnant or something!"

Murphy tackled Connor to the ground. They wrestled for about a minute before Connor shoved him off again.

"Fuck off, Connor! You don't fucking know what it was like!"
"Yea, I think I fucking do, you whined about it fucking enough! Though it didn't seem too bad, way you described it…"

"Fuck you! It wasn't a fucking picnic!"

"What, because she didn't fucking have beer? Not everyone drinks themselves to fucking oblivion every other night."

"But it was fucking weird, it was like she was fucking religious about not drinking and shit!"

Connor sat back, satisfied that he had gotten through to his brother. Now he could just sit and let him rant.

"I heard her talking upstairs, saying how she didn't want to use fucking rufilin on me because it would take all the fucking fun out of it for her!" Murphy continued. "And she'd get this crazy fucking look every time she came down, there was a trap door but she fucking put a piano or something so I couldn't get out, and she was just a fucking creep! I mean, who the fuck does that?"

"Want to grab a beer?" Connor interrupted.

"Fuck yes!"

(rated for the 44 uses of the macmanus brothers favorite word)