Drarry; Show Me Love
This was an accident
Not the kind where sirens sound
Never even noticed
We're suddenly crumbling
We were so perfect. But something's going wrong, because we aren't any more. I'm supposed to be some "golden boy" but I can't even figure out why my world is falling apart. I can't even figure out why we're falling apart.
Well, that's not entirely true. I have my suspicions as to why we are suddenly crashing to pieces. I've noticed how you absently rub your arm nowadays…
Dear god I just hope you're going to tell me it was all an accident.
Tell me how you've never felt
Delicate or innocent
Do you still have doubts that
Us having faith makes any sense
"JUST SHUT UP" Your screams echo around the empty room of requirement, and they hurt so bad. You can't even look at me now, but if you did, what would I see on your face? I think it would be something I have never seen before. Usually there's a smirk, or when we're alone, love hidden behind your platinum blond locks. But now I think I might see rage. Hate.
Why are you acting like this?
You continue to rage. "YOU WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE WOULD YOU" I thought your words couldn't hurt any worse than they do now, but as you speak again you are no longer yelling, and instead your whispers hurt even worse than the angry shouting. "You've never had parents. Do you know what it's like to have a father constantly telling you how worthless you are? Asking you why you're such a failure? No. You wouldn't. It's so much fucking pressure Harry! You're sitting there judging me, what right do you have?! WHAT RIGHT? I've never once been able to be delicate. Not once. Because every time I was, he's break me down. Tell me how I wasn't a real man. You will never know this pain. You're the chosen one. Everybody just loves you. Don't they Harry?"
And then you're yelling again. You're crying.
I want to reach out and pull you closer. A while ago, that's exactly what I would have done. A while ago, I could have made you happy.
But now you can't even look at me.
I can't bring myself to ask the question.
Because I don't want to hear the answer. Even though I already know it.
I just walked away. I closed the door to your sobs.
He's chosen you, hasn't he?
Lord Voldemort…
Tell me nothing ever counts
Lashing out or breaking down
Still somebody loses 'cause
There's no way to turn around
I felt bad for yelling at Harry like that. But I couldn't control anything anymore. It was all spiraling in the wrong direction. I never thought it would happen, but now even Harry and I were crumbling. But how could I let this happen? He was the best thing in my life.
When I found him in an empty hallway, things just got worse.
"Oh what Draco, trying to fix it now? I've tried it! Nothing I do ever counts to you, does it? I gave you everything! And look what you've done to me. You stabbed me in the back!"
He didn't say it out loud. But I knew what he was thinking about.
It hurt when I got my dark mark. But not as much as this.
But still, I was furious.
"Stop lashing out at me! What do you have to be angry about huh? I'm sure being the boy who lived is so hard! The hero worship must take a lot out, huh? Well fine then! Screw off!"
We both lash out. And then that night in my dormitory, I broke down. Again. The worst part was thinking we would probably repeat the process the next day. Lashing out, breaking down. Wishing there was someday to take all this back. But there was no kind of magic to turn back time.
Staring at your photograph
Everything now in the past
Never felt so lonely I
Wish that you could show me love
Late at night when I was sure everyone was asleep, I would pull out your photograph I kept hidden in the mattress. I was always slightly embarrassed to have it there, it felt so immature. But I loved the photo. In it we were both sitting together, looking shocked after just getting caught snogging by the twins; your blond hair slightly ruffled. I stared at it now, thinking about our most recent fight.
I had never felt so lonely in my life.
I tried to remember the happiness. The first time we ever went on a date. It was when we snuck out late at night, and you taught me to ice skate on the lake. It had been freezing, but you held my hands tightly and kept me warm. You would drag me along and then let me go. I was so bad at it, I would always fall over a few seconds later. But you would always catch me in the nick of time, and when I was about to give up you would just place a kiss on my lips and say "try again."
It was the things like that that made me believe nothing could tare us apart.
But I never counted on the dark lord or the war he would bring with him.
Show me love, show me love, show me love,
Show me love, show me love
'Til you open the door
We walk the halls but never speak. I look at you and you avoid my gaze, the other slytherin's sneering. I just want you to show me kindness again. Give me proof that we had something beautiful. I just want you to show me love.
Show me love, show me love, show me
love,
Show me love, show me love,
'Til I'm up off the floor
I wish I could let you show me love. I ignore you in the halls because I need you to think I don't love you anymore. I need you to ignore me back. I can't hurt you anymore than I already have. The Dark Lord is going to kill me if I don't do this. I don't want to do this because I know it will hurt you. But I just don't have a choice. Harry, I'm sorry. I want you to show me love. I want your love to pick me up off my broken place on the floor.
But I can't have your love.
Show me love, show me love show me love,
Show me love, show me love,
'Til it's inside my pores
Draco, I don't know what's going on anymore. But I can see you want to reach out. You're building up a shell and pushing everything and everyone out. I can't let you do this to yourself. I know you've made mistakes but everyone can have a second chance. I'm going to force you to talk to me, I don't care anymore. Just show me love. Please.
Show me love, show me love, show me love,
Show me love, show me love,
'Til I'm screaming for more
You found me today. And despite all my best judgment, I let you take me from everyone else. Into the room of requirement. I let you talk to me.
You said everyone deserves a second chance. I couldn't help but laugh at how foolish you were. You're heart is just so damn pure. I'd always admired that about you. But it really could get you into trouble sometimes. I guess it came with being the chosen one.
You just couldn't see, could you?
It doesn't matter whether I deserve a second chance or not. I can never have one.
I tried to tell you this but you just pulled me into your arms. I'm such a horrible person. I let you do it. I let myself be comforted by you. I broke down and clung to you. Even though I knew it would only cause you more pain.
I hate myself.
Because then I let you kiss me. I let myself kiss back. I let you slip you tongue past my lips. I let you taste me. I let myself taste you.
I wanted you so bad. I didn't have the self control to deny myself that. Even though I knew how much it was going to hurt you. I couldn't help myself.
I let you make me scream one last time.
It felt so good.
I don't deserve such pleasure.
Random acts of mindlessness
Commonplace occurrences
Chances and surprises
Another state of consciousness
Our talk didn't go how I planed it would. I certainly didn't plan to end up on top of you with my glasses (and clothes) strewn about the room of requirement. But then we just lay there, and it was so quiet. It was the first peace I had experienced in a long time. It was a surprise. A chance I didn't think I'd ever get to have again.
However there was something in the back of my mind. Something feeling horrid. Saying this was all wrong.
I ignored it. I had learned to rely on my instincts, but I told myself that this once my subconscious had to be wrong.
Things could only get better from here, right?
Tell me nothing ever counts
Lashing out or breaking down
Still somebody loses 'cause
There's no way to turn around
Tell me how you've never felt
Delicate or innocent
Do you still have doubts that
Us having faith makes any sense
In the end, this was really better for you. This was the only way I could think to deny the Dark Lord. I just couldn't bring myself to do what he said. It would hurt you so much. I probably couldn't even do it if I wanted to. I mean it was one puny Hogwarts student vs. the greatest wizard of all time. How could Voldemort expect me to kill Dumbledore?
Can't you see Harry? I'm doing this out of love. See, if I do this, you'll be ok because Voldemort won't win. You will still have Dumbledore. You'll still be able to win this war.
All the love you gave me did count Harry. Even when we lashed out, even when we broke down, I still loved you. All the time and love you gave me allowed me to live out the best part of my life. I know you did feel pain too, Harry. I'm probably not the only one who has never felt delicate. You might have even had a harder life than me, Harry.
Which is why I am going to make your life easier with this last act.
I know in he beginning we both had doubts. Neither of us knew if we would even work. I mean, we were both boys. It's not natural.
But Harry, I don't have any doubts anymore.
Having faith in you makes perfect sense. Because I love you.
I pointed the wand at my head.
I couldn't let the dark lord win.
"Avada Kedavara"
You play games, I play tricks
Girls and girls, but you're the one
Like a game of pick-up sticks
Played by fucking lunatics
I had never been so confused in my life. I thought I had gotten through to you, but now you weren't even talking to me. Our lives were like a giant game of pick up sticks. Except the two players must have been fucking lunatics. Well that was just it. I was going to talk to you face to face, and get the straight damn truth.
That was, until Hermione walked into the common room and told me the news.
News. What a stupid thing to call it.
But what was it?
Information?
Whatever it was called, the message she gave me had only one meaning. There was no way to misinterpret what she said.
And what she said was so simple.
Just a few words.
A sentence.
She was still talking now. But I couldn't hear her. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't do anything at all. I couldn't think. Because if I thought, I would have to process what she had told me. So I just shut myself down.
Because if I processed the fact that you had killed yourself, I would die too.
The Dark Lord won in the end. He took you away from me.
And what am I without you?
I'm no chosen one. I'm no golden boy.
I'm just Harry Potter.
I am nothing.
Because you can now never show me your love ever again.
Show me love, show me love
Give me all that I want
Show me love, Show me love
'Til I'm screaming for more