Dawn had no idea how she really felt about Danger Mouse and that confusion seemed to be mutual. She knew the way she looked at him, with attraction, affection, awe, interest, curiosity and desire. And she saw those same things reflected back at her in his. But even though she had a fair guess what was on both of their minds, since confusion and doubt and fear were what reigned supreme between the two of them, neither of them ever dared to confront the other. At least not directly. But they would still interact, from a distance, as stupid and torturous as that sounded.
They were supposed to be enemies. They'd done battle before and fought on opposing teams. Yet for some reason, their relationship was different than the normal pair of rivals. There was a strange attraction mixed into every time they traded blows, whether it was physical or verbal. Dawn pushed Danger Mouse's buttons because she wanted his attention. Did he push hers for the same reason? Or was it for the same sinful and taboo curiosity that she felt for him?
Now here they stood, face to face and eye to eye. It was an off-day for both of them. Dawn was out of school and Danger Mouse had the day off from work. Fate had been what brought them together today, but it was choice that kept them together.
"Mouse," she grunted at him, face and voice unreadable.
"Dawn," he replied back calmly, voice and eye guarded as he stared down his nose at her. She wasn't sure if that sort of look from him made her want to scream or swoon. She was basking in his attention, but there was a guardedness to it that made her skin crawl. She hated to think that he felt the need to keep his walls up around her even though she was acting the same way towards him.
"Having a good day are you?" she asked him, and she couldn't tell if she was genuinely curious or challenging.
"I am," Danger Mouse, either way, would not take the bait. But even though he did not extend her the same courteous question she offered him, he didn't exactly back down or back away either. Instead, he only continued to stand there and stare at her, just as she was doing to him.
Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don't touch, Dawn found herself silently asking the mouse as they continued to stare deeply and silently at one another. She knew the real reason why they were so quiet, guarded and awkward around one another (aside from the fact that they were enemies). It was because the one topic that they refused to even think about was blocking up any other conversations from happening until it was addressed. That was a bit of a conundrum and it put them in this awkward standstill every time they were together. Neither one of them could move forward or backward. But even so, Dawn did hope, and dream.
Things were out of focus for the young poodle as she continued to stare up at the big mouse, eye to eye with him. The world around them was totally blurry for her and even he was a bit hazy, her visions blurring that line between fantasy and reality as she continued to study him. The gravity, both of the situation and of the physical world, was too much. But even though it was hard for Dawn to breathe, and to see, she refused to look away from Danger Mouse or leave. She was lost in him, but she wanted to stay that way. And from the way he continued to stare at her, she had the feeling that she was not alone in this desire.
And I'll do anything you say, if you say it with your hands, she continued to plead silently with him, eyes shifting from his lips to his hands. She unconsciously began to reach her own out for his, but instead of jerking away, he only reached back out for her. She knew she'd be start to walk away, but he was quicksand, and she was stuck drowning in him. She had no desire to leave him. She wanted to stay. And from the way he was wrapping his hand around her own, the feeling was mutual.
This slope is treacherous. This path is reckless. This slope is treacherous, Dawn's subconscious sung out against her actions, warning her, and begging her to just leave right now, but even deeper than that level of common sense, her heart began to speak, and it overrode her brain:
And I like it... she tightened her hand around Danger Mouse's and smiled, and just for a second, so did he.
I can't decide if it's a choice, getting swept away, she continued to think to herself as she and Danger Mouse began walking down the streets together, still holding hands. It certainly was not her fault that she had become so mysteriously and confusingly attracted to the mouse, but it was her fault that she refused to let him go, constantly trying to seek him out, either to get him alone or to just keep tabs on him. That much she could take the blame for, and that much, she did take the blame for. But she had not chosen to fall for him.
I hear the sound of my own voice, asking you to stay, she continued as they kept walking along. Some assumed they were siblings, and others assumed uncle/niece, but she and him both knew better. The answer was far more complex than that. But though she knew it would be a safer bet for her to not say yes and to just run away now, she didn't want to. She wanted him to stay with her. And she wanted to stay with him. In Dawn's mind, although The Problem between them was rather serious (and understandably so), it was not eternal. It would pass one day, so why not make that day come sooner rather than later? What were they so afraid of? Why were they beating around the bush so much? Why couldn't they both just knock it off and start talking? After all-
And all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along. Forever going with the flow... all any of them were was just a collection of atoms. It wasn't that grand or mysterious or unique. So what was with all the pretention and self-consciousness? In the end it was always the same, both of them were trapped in the ever-turning machinery of life. They would live and then die. They were slaves to that. And Dawn had accepted this fate. But why did there have to be so many rules and regulations while on this endless machinery? She looked up at Danger Mouse. Although he too was only one cog in the grand machine, whenever he was around her, they managed to reverse their own spins and they no longer went with the flow...
But you're friction...
This slope is treacherous. This path is reckless. This slope is treacherous... But I like it...
Several hours later, Dawn was alone again, in bed, the day having finally come to a close. She spent all that day just walking through London with Danger Mouse, bouncing back and forth between intervals of silence and of small talk, of work and the weather. But the conversation behind the small talk had been very intricate and intimate indeed. The nonverbal talk was far more important and interesting than the verbal that day... It did nothing to help Dawn sort out her feelings regarding the mouse, but it did satisfy her curiosity and desire to see him again, if only for a little. He had dropped her off at home once it finally got dark, being the first to call an end to their impromptu date. Dawn hadn't been happy about it, but at the same time, she didn't dare argue. For once, she obeyed Danger Mouse immediately, and she offered up no resistance as he let go of her hand and took her home.
But as Dawn watched Danger Mouse pull away and drive back to his own home, she already felt the desire to see him again. He really was like quicksand, almost intoxicating with the way he always pulled her back in for more, deeper and deeper every time, even if he didn't realize it. She watched him drive off even after his headlights had finally been swallowed up by the darkness.
"Two headlights shine through the sleepless night and I will get you, and get you alone!" she sang softly out to him. "Your name has echoed through my mind and I just think you should know, that nothing safe is worth the drive and I would follow you, follow you home! I'll follow you, follow you home..." then she curled up reluctantly under her sheets, feeling far too small and far too young in the body she currently possessed. She was an old soul at heart anyway. But the body would always triumph in the end. She was still only a child. Or was she?
The next day, Dawn removed her trademark tiara and refused to put it on for a week straight. Just like clockwork, she began to age, all of her suppressed years catching up with her again until she stood as a beautiful young woman, a teenager. The last time she'd taken on this older body had been when she went through the typical, but still annoying, teen-angst years. This time, though, she was hoping to go out as a woman, and not a whiny teenager who hated everything and everyone (thought that side of her personality was still very much alive and kicking).
As she inspected her more adult body in the mirror, she thought about Danger Mouse and what he might've said or done if he'd seen her like this. Would this be good enough for him now? Or was it still not enough? Or was it not what he wanted? Was the younger, girlier version of her what he wanted? If only she had the courage to ask! She would be willing to try it fi only she knew what he wanted! But she didn't. And just like him, she never dared bring it up. That left them back at square one yet again, suffering in silence. And even if Dawn did have an answer, she didn't know how she'd react to it. Would she like the answer Danger Mouse came up with if she ever asked?
She assumed that he would want her odder form, but she didn't know if she wanted to live it out. He would still have quite a few years on her no matter what happened. Would she really want to live as a teenager if he asked her to? But she didn't want to stay in her little body forever either, especially not if he kept on aging without her. But even if she did invent some way to synch their ages and then keep them that way forever, would he say yes? Somehow, she still instinctively knew he'd decline, but she could hope and dream...
"This hope is treacherous," she hummed to herself. "This daydream is dangerous..." the last word ghosted out of her mouth, hissing as each syllable dragged across her tongue and past her lips. "This hope is treacherous..."
But as she continued to weigh the pros and cons of either life (a life forever as a child, or a life as a slowly-aging angsty teenager) visions of the previous day and night shot through her mind, lighting up the darkness in her thoughts.
"Two headlights shine through the sleepless night, and I will get you, and get you alone!" she cried to the mouse who wasn't there. "Your name has echoed through my mind and I just think you should know," she continued, only brave enough to speak out when she knew he was not around. Only brave enough to be honest when he couldn't hear or judge her. Only brave enough to be herself when it was safe.
"But nothing safe is worth the drive," she reminded herself, and him, as she continued to stare at her older reflection and ponder. "And I will follow you, follow you home! I'll follow you, follow you home..."
Then without even thinking, the slightly older Dawn Crumhorn took her first steps outside, turning her body in the direction of the Danger Agency. If she moved fast enough, she would arrive around noon. Hopefully, Danger Mouse would have a lunchbreak that would allow them to meet once again, but this time, she would not be meeting him as a little princess, but as a determined queen. But if she wanted any chance, she was going to have to start running. After all, nothing safe was worth the drive, so if she wanted a good outcome, she was going to have to put in some good effort first. But she told herself that it, that he, would be worth it, so off she ran, as fast and hard as she could.
Right on time, she reached the agency. The door swung open and out stepped the mouse, alone and smiling. Dawn was only a few feet behind him. Her nerves failed her then as she watched him walk away from her. She followed after him, but kept her presence secret, only watching him from afar as he headed out for lunch. After 20 minutes of agonizing though, when Dawn finally saw the mouse sit comfortably against a fountain in the local park with a sandwich in his hands, she finally steeled her nerves once again. She walked towards him until they were only inches apart. He was munching happily on his meal as he listened to the rippling water of the fountain. She smiled a little as she watched him.
This slope is treacherous...
Then she took the plunge and she reached out to touch his shoulder. Even if it went down in flames, she was finally ready and willing to go for it. She was never one to back down from a fight, after all, and she did enjoy a little bit of danger every now and then, especially if it was Him and His danger. That type she could never get enough of, and soon hoped to have more of, it fate was kind.
This daydream is dangerous...
"Mouse," she grunted at him, face and voice unreadable.
"Dawn," he replied back calmly, voice and eye guarded as he turned around to meet her eyes. If he was surprised to see her back in her gothic, teenage style, he was very good at hiding that.
This path is reckless...
"Having a good day are you?" she asked him, and she couldn't tell if she was genuinely curious or challenging.
"I am," Danger Mouse, either way, would not take the bait. But this time, Dawn didn't wait for him to. And nor did she resort to the silent staring of yesterday. Instead, she opened her mouth to speak, and she knew he would listen to every word she had to say.
And I like it...
AN: This Taylor Swift-inspired, random gift to the amazing Zarius is just a little AU where Dawn considers entering a relationship with DM despite how awkward it is from all sides, even going as far as to suggest that she could age herself up (or him down) in order to make things fit better. How she poses the question and how he responds is up to all of you readers to decide.
(That being said, I personally don't ship them, but Zarius has done enough service to them that I am at least willing to see how it feels to write a fic about them. And Taylor Swift's "Treacherous" is really fitting, especially if we take it that Dawn sort of likes the danger that surrounds DM, and the danger that surrounds their potential romance).