Chapter 1: An Introduction

Uzumaki Naruto

A chill breeze cut through the warm spring sunshine and swept through the village, sending icy fingers down Uzumaki Naruto's back as he walked out onto his balcony. The Hokage robes draped over his bent frame fluttered around him, spots of bright color against the stark grey of the building. He walked slowly over to the balcony's edge, and sighed. He seemed to be doing everything slower these days. Though with much less stealth, he noted as the metal tip of his cane beat a steady rhythm against the stone floor. Kakashi probably turned-over in his grave the day he ordered it, but wooden canes just broke too easily.

His leg never had been the same after his last battle with the Sasuke-bastard, but then, no one had come out of that without a scar.

Naruto leaned up against the balcony railings, and fumbled around his jacket for a cigarette and lighter. It was a nasty habit, he knew, but picking it up had been far, far easier than giving it up. He'd quit twice before, but after Hinata passed last year, he found his afternoons littered with the little death sticks once again.

He lit up a cigarette, drawing the smoke deep into his lungs before letting it out in a white cloud. He tried to blow it so the wind would draw the smoke away from him, but the wind refused to cooperate. He supposed the Konohamaru brat would complain about the smell on his robes. Well, they'd be Konohamaru's soon enough, then he could keep them as clean and smoke-free as he wanted. A smile spread across his face at the thought, what a surprise that was going to be! Konohamaru had more or less resigned himself to being an ANBU captain and (more than occasionally) Naruto's assistant; convinced Naruto would be Hokage forever.

But, Naruto would be turning sixty-five soon, and while he still felt strong enough to take down a million brats, he knew it was more than time to step aside for the next generation. Though, in all honesty, he'd hoped that one of his own would continue the family tradition. He sighed, turning his gaze down onto the streets of Konoha, filling with people out looking for lunch.

To Naruto's chagrin, not one of his children had chosen the ninja way. His oldest, Jiraiya, was currently in the Earth Kingdom filming a movie. According to his last letter, he was playing a pirate king in some new action thriller. Sasuke had, of all things, apprenticed himself to the Ichiraku Ramen Shop, and taken over it a few years back. And his youngest, Tsubame, had passed her chuunin exam and decided to be a teacher. NOT a ninja teacher, oh no, she had chosen to be a regular village teacher at a regular school for regular children.

And Hinata, being Hinata, cheered her children on until the day she died, and forbid Naruto from saying a word or interfering. Well, she had been right, he admitted. Their children had had happier lives than either of them, though (secretly) he hoped some of their grandchildren might choose to return to the ninja world.

Well, he hoped at least one of them would anyway, even if he was born only days before. He found his thoughts and eyes drawn toward the left of the village, focusing on a little pink house near the old Uchiha compound. Sakurano Naruto, they'd named him. Naruto could still feel the baby, the weight of him in his hands. He'd been so tiny, his little fingers batting at Naruto's. And, despite being only hours old, the child had pulsed warmly with chakra, a true product of his Uchiha/Uzumaki blood. It was love at first sight. Sakura had been thrilled. Sasuke might have been too, Naruto thought, in the end. Hinata definitely would have been.

Naruto put out his cigarette, throwing the butt into an ashtray someone (likely Konohamaru) had left nearby. Maybe he should quit again after all. Tsubame was talking about having eight more, though Saito looked rebellious, and Sasuke's first was due any day now. Once he retired, he planned on spending a lot of time with his new grandchildren and smoke was, after all, very bad for babies.

Well, he wouldn't be training them for a few years yet. They'd have to be at least seven, he nodded to himself as he walked back inside. If he taught them Sexy no Jutsu before that, Tsubame might get mad.

~ 13 YEARS LATER ~

Uzumaki Chiyori

Ninjutsu practice was, to put it mildly, not going well--Not that any mix of genjutsu or ninjutsu had ever gone terribly right for Naruto. Of course, Torabito-sensei insisted he just needed more focus and practice.

So, Naruto decided to try it. Sort of. The first clone had been okay. At least, it was the right size and color, mostly. But, then he'd tried to clone Inuzuka Roya, and everything went wrong.

"Naruto, baka!" She'd shouted at him before running off, "You're the worst ninja ever!"

"Roya!" shouted Torabito-sensei as he ran out after her.

Puzzled as to why she was so angry, Naruto scratched at his thick black hair and dismissed the clone, before shouting, "I am NOT! And, baka yourself, I'm fourth-to-last in our class!"

Chiyori cringed, "Naruto, I'm not sure that's any better."

The other students began to snicker but, after a glare of death from Chiyori, wisely chose to stay silent and return to their seats. She might look small and delicate, but Chiyori had a temper like a lightening storm and could be just as lethal.

"Of course it's better." Naruto snorted, rubbing absent-mindedly at his dark grey eyes. "Fourth-to-last means there are at least three ninjas worse than me, so I can't be the worst ninja ever."

"Right, but… Nevermind." Her cousin, Chiyori had learned long ago, was an absolute idiot. A lot of it was, admittedly, because he chose the underachiever's path to life and only bothered to learn things applicable to his love of pirates. But, he also was really and genuinely obtuse sometimes. Their parents blamed their grandfather, but since Chiyori was hardly an idiot in any respect, she couldn't quite understand why.

"I don't even get why she's so mad." Naruto wailed, strangely echoing part of her thoughts. He went back to his desk and plopped down into his chair. He leaned over, resting his head on his desk with a low thud.

"Naruto, you made her look like a pile of dough with raisins stuck in it for eyes." She sighed, going back to her seat too.

"Okay, yeah. But, you could totally tell it was her. I mean, the hair was absolutely perfect!" He replied, covering his head with his arms, as if to protect himself from the evils of thinking.

"I'm pretty sure that was part of the problem."

"Forget this. Pirates don't need Bunshin no Jutsu. This is what I get for paying attention and practicing!" Naruto folded his arms up and crossed them under his head, closing his eyes, and looking for all intents and purposes ready to take a nap.

"I don't think doing a jutsu twice in class counts as much practice, you stupid pirate nerd." Chiyori muttered, pulling out an issue of Icha Icha Kids. It was safe enough. By her calculations Torabito-sensei, who had a bit of a tendency to panic, would take at least another 15 minutes to get calm enough to remember to come back to class.

"I did practice! I tried it once yesterday." Naruto turned his head just enough to flash a grin at Chiyori full of perfect teeth and ridiculously long eyelashes. Not for the first time, Chiyori noted that he was probably better looking than most of the girls in their class. He'd have been popular if it wasn't for his Uchiha lineage.

"You actually did school work outside of…" Chiyori began, not bothering to look up from her book despite being mildly impressed. It was decidedly unusual for Naruto to do work outside of school.

"Well, the RedLeg Pirates' execution ended early so…"

"You idiot liar," cut in Nara Saburo, kicking Naruto's chair from behind. "Stop trying to excuse your stupidity. You can't produce a clone after only three tries."

"I can." Replied Naruto, turning and kicking Saburo right back. "Because, I'm a genius."

"What like all the other Uchiha scum, Mr. Fourth-to-last-in-our-class pirate freak." Saburo, who was in fact second in the class and worked extremely hard, had several duplicates of Naruto's failed Roya clone ring Naruto's desk, then kicked his chair again, hard.

Chiyori slammed her book shut with a thump, and whipped around to throw a warning glare at Saburo.

"Want to repeat that?" She asked just a little too nicely. This never happened when their grandfather was in town, but he'd been living with the frogs for the past year.

"Brat, stop harassing Naruto, Naruto, stop causing trouble, Chiyori… IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS ON YOUR DESK?"

That voice did not belong to Torabito-sensei. Chiyori felt her stomach sink as heavy steps came through the classroom door and stopped in front of her desk. She turned around slowly, only to see a familiar face staring intently at the book on her desk.

"H-Hatake Ji-chan?" She managed to deduce it from the silvery-blonde hair, but there was little else to give away his identity. He was dressed from head to toe in a typical jounin uniform of green and black with most of his face covered by a black mask. "What are you doing here? Why do you have a mask on?"

"Ah sorry, I forgot." he replied, pulling the mask down. "They were spraying my building for roaches. And, I'm confiscating this."

"It's not confiscating if you're taking it to read it, then it's pirating," Naruto pointed out with a snort as Hatake Norio took Chiyori's copy of Icha Icha Kids off her desk.

"It is if I'm a teacher," replied Norio with a smile. "You should call me sensei, by the way, Shrimp One and Shrimp Two."

"Who in their right mind would let you teach children?" Demanded Naruto and Chiyori simultaneously.

Norio's smile got even broader. "Who said anything about teaching? I'm a teacher, but I'll only be teaching if my students pass their genin exam."

"The genin exam?" Chiyori felt her already roiling stomach hit her shoes at the thought of the upcoming test, though she had little doubt she would pass.

"Scared?" Norio asked leering first at Chiyori then at Saburo before cackling. "Because you should be."

Naruto snorted, and put his head back down on his desk.

"Oh? Shrimp One, you seem very confident."

"Because I'm not taking it, oh Master Pervert," replied Naruto, rather matter-of-factly.

Chiyori, along with every other person in the class, turned to stare at her cousin. "What?!"

Naruto sat up and looked around, before shrugging and sprawling back down onto his desk. "What's the point of being a genin? I'm going to be a pirate."