Dear Dairy (yes I know this is about the lamest phrase in the history of mankind but yeah how else would I start it. Or maybe you would prefer Hey guess what today I killed someone for the title of entry.)

Every drop of that glistening scarlet fire still haunted my dreams. I could still taste that metallic rust thickly incasing my throat as it swished down only to claw itself back up when it exploded across the flied. But most of all at very moment I can still remember the reactions of the very people I thought had loved me when I came home. There were appalled gapes here, eye rolls there, but then every time my mind always zooms in on the guilty downcast eyes of my best friend and radiation of extreme hatred with a hint of confusion coming from by boyfriend, well no put that on hold. My best guy friend that just happened to be the only person who occupied my insanely impure fantasies for basically my whole life, but now I realize that it was just never meant to be. Not only because now he's mad at me for being the one to come home alive, and who isn't everyone was expecting Zane to come home not me, but also because I am moving today. I finally get to go back home after watching one of my best friends and big brother murder each other after Zane betrayed me. I guess the idiotic rebellion heads finally bashed a rock to their skulls and realized that hey maybe we don't want to place our children in the districts cause just maybe they'll end up having to kill each other. Though even though I know I should say goodbye I know I'm not. Instead I have decided to do something so cruel that he would regret even the slightest of acts against me, I am going to show him what he truly is a monster and how he affected me my whole life. How I always stood by his side even when I got hurt, all the times that I protected him, and never got anything in return. I am going to stab, tare, shred, and burn then burn again his heart until there is nothing left for anyone to have ever again.

3 always (who am I kidding, there's no love left in my heart after the games. So thinking constantly), Liz

"Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy."Ashley screeched as though she was dying, but as always she wasn't in a life threatening situation like most people would be.

"What is it" I yelled

"We have to go in three hours; I thought you wanted to go say bye to Fennick." Ashley giggled

"Why, so he can yell at me again, or wait do you want me to watch him make out with Anne" I retorted disgusted at the image I had just created. It was the final image in my cluster of pictures that I was hoping with all my soul would literally make his heart disappear forever.

"You know he didn't mean it, and as for Anne she probably made him kiss her" Ashley ranted.

"Yeah right" I whispered.

"What was that, I didn't quite hear that," Ashley teased thinking I had finally caved in and agreed to go see Fennick.

"Just go away!" I yelled knowing that she'll just take it as a retort saying that she won.

"Fine I will, but is there anything you need me to do before we leave?" Ashley asked.

"Yes actually, do you think you could get the reactor that I placed in the woods by the west beach when we first came here." I inquired carefully trying to gage how badly she wanted me to go say goodbye to Fennick. After all she was scared to death of the so called reactors, and how could blame her reactors were monsters that the people of district thirteen befriended when they first went into hiding. So naturally they had skills in which from these we inquired four bracelets connecting four protectors of the people to four of these creators known currently as the elementals. I was connected since birth like all protectors are to one of these monsters, though to me Witika was much more than something that was associated with ripping you to pieces then eating you… she was my best friend. From Witika I learned to control water and even ice and eventually snow; this was our strength, the result of us becoming one the soul reason that I could protect everyone of the rebellion from President Snow. Though no matter how much I tried to convince Ashley she never would befriend any of the reactors, but even those who are born in the district thirteen havens sometimes have a hard time trusting the very beings that protect us from the capital's wrath.

"Ok fine, but you have and say goodbye to Fennick." Ashley cowered and then harshly slammed my black neon stripped door.

Ok now this should be easy. I mean she didn't say that I actually had to say goodbye to him in person, after all that would be letting him off the hook way to easy. And all of my friends know that I am as about as stubborn as a forty year old muscular man insisting on watching football from the exact same faded sandy brown coach every single Sunday for the rest your life. And trust me on this one when I say you don't want to make people like that angry. After all I was only in the hospital for about a month after being thrown across a room filled with sharp pointy articles repeatly and then shoved against a window causing it to shatter into hundreds of pointy crystal blue pieces only to meet the ground where a patch of cacti had decided they wanted to grow there. I mean it's just like he had planned for this years in advance, and I just happened to be the extremely unlucky victim (wait no pretend you didn't hear that), I mean person yeah person sounds right.

Anyways back to the subject, so I unfortunately had to go say my farewells whether I liked it or not. So naturally I stupidly decided to play it cool, and jumped out my window… wait wait for it, and yes I did land right in the middle of a bunch of children attacking a poor little squirrel. Though with my luck they decided that the squirrel had gone through enough torture, and decided to play "let's chase Liz Liz around the district and watch as she trips and falls in about every puddle, leaf cluster, and net there is." Yeah it was pretty nasty I had leafs in my hair, mud clinging to about almost every piece of my assumable, and had a big gash down the side of my right shin. Making me almost wish to go back to the Hunger Games I mean yeah you basically have to go around killing each, but at least you don't have to come back to life every single day and be killed repeatedly every day of every week of every month of every year.

"Just one more turn," I said to myself as I ran to the right side of the street, "then you can deliver the letter to Fennick, go home and wash this stuff off of you, and then leave." But I just had to miss calculate and again bump into probably another wall and fall to the ground.

"You know the way you look, it's almost like you wanted to repeal every single boy our age in a ten mile radius of you, but hey that just leaves more for me I guess," a repulsive voice laughed.

Oh please, oh please God say you haven't abandoned me to the devil, because the way this is going it's almost like you have wished bad luck upon me. Don't be her and don't let him be there I thought as I opened one eye slowly as by body betrayed my will. Great just great I really do have the best of luck. "Oh Anne, I didn't notice you there, but hey who could blame me I mean after all you are wearing last year's fashions not to mention they're knock offs so I just assumed you were just a trashcan. Since you know you won't catch anything like that in even the poorest of girls' closets." I commented in my best innocent voice with the words rolling off my lips smoothly as any of the songs that I have written for the district talent shows back home.

"Please, this is vintage all the way I got it in district one when I went with my parents on their business trip." Anne sneered, but I could almost swear that I heard Fennick try to suppress the stifling laugh threatening to burst out of his mouth, "And you stop that you're on my side not hers."

"Well maybe he finds it funny that you have for once in your life been smacked down from your mighty thrown in society and stooped so low that you decided you'd go to the dollar store and buy the cheapest thing there to wear here and call it vintage." I retorted.

"What did you say… ugh whatever I'm going" Anne ranted as she stormed off.

"Aren't you going to follow her after all she's going to be mad if she finds out if you stayed behind?" I asked.

"Well I don't really care,' Fennick answered.

"That's not true all you ever do is care about how she feels" I argued.

"Is that jealously I hear?" he smirked as he asked his stupid question.

"Of course not, maybe I just don't want you anywhere near me." I sighed knowing I lost, after all I could barely even hide the blush that was creeping on to face.

"Well that's unfortunate since I'll end up taking you home seeing as you can't walk." He smirked again.

Darn I know I should have come more prepared I know I'm mad at him for the whole kissing Anne thing and the whole hating me since it was me who came back, but it was just something about the smug proud smirk that always got me. "No way" I raged trying to get up.

"I will if you like it or not" Fennick retorted, as he caught my elbowing keeping me up as I proceeded to fall back to the dirt covered ground.

"No you will not even if I have to stab you to make you get the picture Fennick," I screeched.

"Fine have it you way" He sighed as he picked me up bridal style.

"WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING! PUT ME DOWN NOWWWWWWWWWW!" I yelled as I pounded my fists against his chest.

"Will you relax Lizzy, besides we're already back at your house in your room. So just tell me where the damn first aid stuff is so you don't start dying from blood lose." He reasoned and by the look on his face I was quiet sure he didn't even know why he was doing me this favor.

"First cabinet on the upper left as you walk in the bathroom." I recited. "Wait what do you need first aid things for." I asked confusion sweeping over my face in a mere matter of about one millisecond.

"What do you mean geesh can't you remember getting a gash that big for at least ten minutes for once seriously what am I going to do with you." Fennick teased in his fatherly voice he has used ever since we were kids when I would cry about various things. It made me remember just how happy we were once, but that's all gone now. Then he started to wash the blood, dirt, and bacteria away from my leg.

Man did it hurt I thought how I can not remember getting a cut like this. And as of immediately sensing my pain he rubbed easier and said, "Just relax sing a song or look out the window or something."

"Now why would I do that." I huffed (and puffed and blew the house down, sorry I just couldn't resist after all being in my mind requires some major therapy, and even my therapist needed therapy after I drew out and described some of the things on my mind.)