Vince heard Howard's alarm go off and watched his flat mate drag himself out of bed on the first buzz. Howard had entirely given up on snooze. Howard claimed to be a man of moderation but it was more like all or nothing. He either woke up straight away or slept away the day.

Howard looked cuddly and rumpled in his pajamas, his hair a curly mess.

Vince pretended to sleep but watched Howard move about, picking out his clothes for the day. As soon as he left the room, Vince jumped out of his bed and into Howard's. He inhaled the scent of inexpensive dandruff shampoo, and that scent that just seemed to be Howard, falling back asleep before he could think another thought.

xxx

The second and third alarm could be ignored but the fourth alarm was for real. If he didn't get up now, Howard would come looking for him and then he'd have to explain, again, what he was doing in Howard's bed. He was running out of excuses. How many times could he pretend to confuse Howard's scratchy brown sheets for his 1200 thread count Egyptian cotton? Howard was a clever fellow who knew a lot about a lot of things, but he was also a bit of a thickie when it came to human motivation. How could Howard ever understand? He made a half-hearted attempt to make Howard's be back up the way he'd left it. As long as Howard could pretend to ignore that Vince was sleeping in his bed, he would.

xxx

The mirror was unnecessarily cruel that morning. Vince needed softer lighting but Howard insisted on blaring white bulbs so he could be sure he did a proper job when flossing. Vince should have asked for a dimmer switch in the bathroom for his birthday. He hadn't asked for anything, leaving Howard entirely on his own to choose a gift. Howard was visibly nervous when Vince made the suggestion, but he'd seemed rather chuffed the following week so he must have felt confident about his choice. Vince didn't care if it was a faun colored trumpet sock, he just wanted something from Howard that wasn't a joke or just an excuse for Vince to use Howard's credit card. After all, it wasn't everyday you turned 28 for the third time. It was a milestone birthday.

xxx

Howard had pulled out all the stops. Vince hesitated over his candy filled pancake, but it wasn't like he was going out. He didn't need to fit into any particular outfit.

Vince was glad he had a mouthful of food when Howard asked about his plans for the night. Howard would want to know why Vince wouldn't be painting the town red.

Vince gave a casual shrug and said, "I'm going to stay in, watch some telly. Are you with Lester tonight?"

He promptly jammed another large bite into his mouth before Howard could turn his 'concerned' face on Vince.

"Lester is having 'company' tonight," Howard explained with a wince, "I'm afraid he means Tony Harrison."

"It's not like he's got a lot of options, just being a head n'all. You should be happy for Lester. 'Sides, it gives you more time to spend at home... reading books and organizing stationery," Vince finished lamely. He'd been jealous when Howard was spending a day or two a month with Lester, but now he was over there several times a week. For weeks, Howard would come home just as it was time for Vince to head out for the night. The intervening hours, Vince spent watching telly alone and listening to music while he got ready. He had griped once to Howard and been told he was selfish, but Howard started coming home a little earlier after that. Vince had been so embarrassed, he started going out earlier just to make Howard angry. He'd wanted Howard to want to spend time with him, not do it out of pity.

"What do you mean you're staying in? Are you having a party? You're supposed to warn me 24 hours in advance," Howard narrowed his eyes but there was a hint of a smile there.

Vince shrugged, "Naw. I don't feel like it tonight. Going out on a Tuesday is rubbish."

"But it's your... 29th?..."

"28th!" Vince snapped.

"Yeah, 28th birthday. That's a special day. You should go out and have a good time," Howard said gently.

When Howard turned 30, he'd been such a mess that Vince had agreed to give up their annual trip to EuroDisney and spend his vacation trying not to get raped by a horrible hairy monster (or a yeti). They'd all nearly died but even Bollo and Naboo agreed a beheading would have been preferable to hearing Howard moaning about getting old for another week. It had been well worth the effort, Howard was still obsessed with accomplishing something "great" but he was more interested in working with Vince, now, rather than trying to pull away from him all the time. He'd also enjoyed the bit where Howard had to go around in his little swim trunks. If he hadn't seen Howard in them little pants, he might not have thought to put Howard in a loin cloth on Xooberon. The look suited him, Howard made a good Johnny Weissmuller, but not even claiming loin cloths were in Dazed & Confused could get Howard to rock that particular look again. Vince was again going to have to settle for his memories.

"Where'd you go, Little Man?" Howard asked, waving his hand in front of Vince's eyes, "You look a million miles away."

Vince shook his head. Fondly remembering times you ogled your best mate was well pervy. Even on your birthday.

Howard was nervously fidgeting with his cup of tea.

"I don't feel like going out, I'm just gonna have a quiet night in," Vince explained, fidgeting with his own tea, "Maybe I'll have a party this weekend or something."

"We... we could order in, rent a film," Howard suggested, almost shyly.

"That sounds genius," Vince said, kicking Howard under the table, "We can watch Colobos the Crab. It's on at 8, 9, 10:45, 11:30, midnight, 12:15..."

"I get the idea. Thank you, Vince. We'll watch your telly show and have take away..."

"I want a cake. If I ain't goin' out, I'm eatin' a cake. An' we should get some whiskey and sweet and sour mix and cherries."

Howard smiled his indulgent smile, "I'll go to the shops, but you'll have to mind the store. Can I trust you?"

"To stand around, fiddlin' with my hair and waiting for a customer to show up? Yeah, I think I'm ready for the increased responsibility," Vince replied, giving Howard a wink, "Now go get me a cake."

xxx

Howard baked a cake. It was from a box, but it still counted since he had to crack eggs and everything. Howard was making Vince wait for the cake to cool before decorating it. Vince was eager to get to work with the assorted icings and edible confetti. When Vince tried blowing on the cakes to cool them down, Howard kicked him out of the kitchen, saying that, "Some things just can't be rushed, Little Man."

Like Vince didn't know about waiting. Just because he didn't like it, didn't mean he couldn't do it.

Vince was sitting in the shop, fiddling with his hair and waiting for a customer to show up, when Marla arrived.

"All right, Marla? I thought you and Howard were over. What are you doing here? I like them shoes."

Marla and Howard had been a hottish item for weeks. Howard had been out nearly every night, seeing jazz funk fusion hard bop bands with his beloved pencil case girl. Then she'd disappeared and Howard had been a right mess. He'd been grumpy for weeks, watching nothing but Jurgen Haabermaaster films. Then he'd run off to Denmark to be a famous actor. Vince had spent the whole time just trying to figure out what to do with himself. If the lead singer of the Black Tubes hadn't run afoul of Naboo and Bollo over a "specialty purchase" (read: drug deal gone wrong), Vince would have just hidden in his room and waited for death. Death by boredom. The girl Vince had met at Howard's party was genius but, once she realized Vince was a man, the romance had fizzled. They'd spent hours snogging in places where Howard would come across them, but he was never jealous. He just reminded Vince that he could have more fun if he was having "safe fun".

Marla kicked up her hot pink heel.

"Top Shop," she explained, unnecessarily, "Howard and I are just friends. He asked me to store something in the boot... is it boot? Yes? of my car. Is he around?"

Howard had said he and Marla were 'just friends' but Vince had taken that to mean Marla had dumped Howard and shattered his heart into a million pieces, then stomped on them with a pair of fabulous shoes. It never occurred to Vince that Marla and Howard would actually be friends six months after breaking up.

"Is it my birthday present? It's my birthday, you know. Howard's baking me a cake. For me. For my birthday."

Marla leaned towards Vince and gave him a wink, "He bought me a trumpet sock for mine. Neon green."

Vince wanted to pull the silky black hair from her head. He wanted to know what kind of shampoo she was using because her hair was full of shine and body, but he hated her nonetheless. It wasn't like Howard to have secret friendships. It wasn't like Howard to like people other than Vince, full stop, much less have two other friends. Howard barely tolerated Leroy and, after Vince, Leroy was his best and oldest mate in the world. If Howard was actually being friends with a girl after she said she wanted to be "just friends", then the Northerner was even more naive about romance than Vince thought.

"Howard! Your ex-girlfriend is here!" Vince yelled over his shoulder before turning back to Marla, "It must be a big gift, if he's having you hide it. What is it?"

"It's a surprise," Marla teased. She was rather pretty and friendly. Howard could do worse, but Vince also thought he could do better. Howard needed someone who would really appreciate him, who would spend every waking minute at his side, who would chase him to hell and back, who would be ready to really commit himself heart and soul. Or herself. Whatever Howard was into. It was hardly any of Vince's business.

Howard bounded into the room, eagerly. Marla beat Vince to brushing a bit of cake mix from Howard's sweater. Vince watched her hot pink nails linger for a moment to long on Howard's chest before yelling, "All right, that's enough. Where's my present?"

Howard gave him a stern look, but he didn't make Vince wait. Vince followed Howard and Marla to the car. The gift wasn't wrapped and the moment he caught a glimpse of the box, he knew exactly what he was looking at.

"The Jean Claude Jaquettie Fabric Fantabulizer 5846! You can't even buy this in the U.K. yet!" Vince pushed Howard and Marla out of the way and tried pulling the Holy Grail of sewing machines out of Marla's boot. It didn't budge until he allowed Howard enough space to grab a corner. They carried it into the back of the shop where Vince's sorry old machine was sat. Vince wanted to set the old machine on fire but agreed that Marla could take it. He let Howard handle carrying his old machine out while he got to work setting up the new one.

It was beautiful. It was meant to sew anything from leather to spider webs. Vince had it on and threaded before Howard and Marla returned.

"What will you make first?" Marla asked, "A new outfit for your birthday?"

Vince thought about it for a moment, closing his eyes and emptying his mind.

"No. Get out, I need to work."

Howard admonished Vince for being rude as Vince pushed him and Marla through the door. He did remember to give Marla a kiss on the cheek and thank her for her part in getting him the best present ever.

"It's a shame things didn't work out between you and Howard," Vince observed, "But, that's how it goes. Some things are just never ever ever meant to happen."

xxx

It didn't take long. Vince was long past needing a pattern and he knew Howard's measurements as well as his own. He'd bought the material a while ago, not knowing what it was for but knowing he would need it. Unlike Howard, Vince didn't go around questioning his instincts. If he wanted something, there was usually a good reason for it. He was just finishing off the monogram when Howard knocked on the door, assuring him there was no work left to be done in the shop and it was safe for Vince to come out.

Howard lost his smirk when he saw the smoking jacket.

"Did you make this?" Howard asked, touching the jacket's sleeve as though it were made of butterfly wings (there was a butterfly wing setting on the machine) rather than crushed velvet, "This is beautiful. It's just like the one my grandfather had."

"Yeah, I always liked how he looked like Hugh Heffner when he served us tea and biscuits," Vince explained, "Your granddad was well cool."

Howard smiled fondly. There had been a time Howard had been embarrassed by the eccentrics in his family, before Vince explained that they were the coolest old people who ever walked the planet. Howard tried to dress himself in shades of brown, but the Moon was always shining through him. Howard was just as strange and wonderful as any Moon who had ever lived and he deserved a smoking jacket to wear while watching telly.

"Is it... Did you make this for me?" Howard asked, avoiding Vince's eyes.

"Course it's for you, ya big berk! Who else would it be for? You can wear it tonight while we watch telly. We'll smoke pipes and drink whiskey like proper men."

"Proper men eating cake and watching a show about a crab," Howard amended.

"Yeah! Genius!" Vince agreed, glad Howard was finally catching on.

Howard was a little pink in the cheeks as he pulled on the jacket, "I don't know what to say, Vince. Thank you."

"My pleasure," Vince answered, honestly, "Now let's go eat some cake. It's almost time for Colobos!"

xxx

Bollo gave Vince a gold, tunic style dress from Top Shop. Vince promptly pulled off his blouse and put it on. It looked good with his drainpipes and didn't make Vince feel fat, even after gorging himself on cake.

He threw his arms around the gorilla and thanked him profusely. He hadn't even realized he said, "Mr. Bollo," until Bollo teased him about it. It was the gorilla who insisted Vince drop the Mr., it apparently made Bollo feel old.

Naboo gave him a bag of owl beaks. Howard laughed so Vince dumped them over the Northerner's head.