Written for 2015 Romerica Secret Santa Exchange on tumblr! Haven't really proofread since December, soooo hit me up if you see anything I need to fix.
For Jade, aka aph-icecold, who wanted meet-cute on an airplane with someone afraid of flying! Hopefully this is cute and Christmas-y enough. If anyone can think of a better title, especially one that's a pun, hit me up.
cleared for takeoff
by AoNoShi
Lovino first spotted the guy while trying to check in at the airline desk. The printer at the hotel had been broken, naturally, so he didn't have his boarding pass yet. Apparently the freaking airport was having similar technology issues, because the clerk had given him a tight smile and asked him to wait for "just a moment" before disappearing. The other clerk looked similarly frazzled, but the guy in the line next to him was grinning and gesturing at her enthusiastically, apparently unperturbed about the delay. This made him stand out from the rest of the holiday travel crowd behind them, who were already shuffling in place and muttering angrily. The cheerful guy was tall, blond, and tan—nice to look at, if a bit stereotypically American with the jeans and cowboy boots. Kind of loud. Lovino hoped they wouldn't be on the same flight; he was looking forward to napping his way back across the Atlantic.
Finally the first clerk returned, told her coworker, "It should work now. Hopefully." The printer whirred to life and the two airline employees breathed twin sighs of relief before returning to smiling professionalism. As Lovino took the proffered boarding pass he heard the guy next to him say, "Don't let any of these assholes get you down, ladies, you're doing an awesome job. Merry Christmas! Or happy holidays! Both!"
Wow. Lovino rolled his eyes and spun on his heel, headed for security. He loved Christmas as much as the next guy but, as he always noticed when visiting America, there was such a thing as too much. The airport was continuously playing obnoxious pop versions of Christmas carols over the omnipresent speakers, sometimes interrupted by announcements but then going straight back into "Allllll I want for Christmaaaaas is yOUUUUUOooouuuOOUU!" and Lovino was feeling the beginning of some very Scrooge like murderous impulses. Did Scrooge kill people? He must have, there were ghosts in that story, right? "Hell if I know," he muttered to himself.
A blond blur passed by him on his right, startling him. What the—it was the guy from the check in, humming "Deck the Halls" at obnoxious volume, power-walking his way towards security, as well. Seriously, where did the guy think he was going? The stupid TSA agents weren't gonna just let him waltz through, so why the hurry? Although, he conceded as he eyed the guy from behind, his legs were so long maybe he just went everywhere that fast. He grudgingly got into line behind Blondie, half listening as he immediately started talking the agents' ears off. Apparently he was going to England to visit family. Meeting his brother there. First time leaving the country. First time celebrating Christmas with his family in a while. Lovino resisted the urge to roll his eyes again. Good for you, sunshine, he thought sourly. Let's keep it moving.
The TSA agent took Blondie's boarding pass and passport, looking vaguely amused by the chatter. Lovino got motioned over to another line so he couldn't hear the rest of the story, but he did hear the agent actually laugh at something the guy said. He glanced over after he presented his own travel documents and saw Blondie beaming at the agent and attempting to simultaneously continue talking and lean down to kick his boots off.
Wow, he thought again.
Shaking his head he focused back on his own possessions. Shoes off, laptop separate, keys and phone from his pocket, bag of toiletries separate, small suitcase hoisted up onto the belt. He and his own supervising agent shared a look as another loud burst of laughter sounded from the other line. Despite the constant talking, Blondie finished going through his line at the same time as Lovino. He caught the Italian's eye briefly and grinned widely at him before taking off again, in long strides heading for the opposite side of the airport as Lovino. Thank God for small mercies. Although, the smile was pretty nice.
Lovino shouldered his bag and checked his boarding pass again to confirm his gate number. Gate A9. He could find that in forty-five minutes, no problem.
Except, as it turned out after a twenty minute stop for coffee and ten minute walk to Gate A9, his plane was actually at Gate D48, which was in a completely different terminal in the opposite direction. Lovino spared a single moment to give the airport employee at the gate an incredulous glare before he took off running. When he made it to Gate D48, panting and sweaty, his first thought was of fucking course because there was Blondie, handing their passport and boarding pass over to the officer at the gate, apparently last in line for the same airplane Lovino was about to get on. Both the officer and the American turned to look at him when he stumbled up.
"Cutting it kind of close, aren't you?" the guard asked.
"Aw, he's fine," Blondie interjected immediately, then addressed Lovino."Uh, hey, did you want to go ahead of me, dude?"
Lovino raised one eyebrow. "Why? We're the last two people anyway."
"Oh, haha, yeah, you're right. That doesn't really make any sense. Haha."
Lovino edged a glance at the guard, who in his opinion should be taking notice of this highly suspicious behavior, but the guy just mouthed "Oh," to himself and nodded like he'd figured something out before handing the papers back to Blondie and motioning him through. Okay then. He shuffled forward and passed over his own documents. The guard glanced at them, had the nerve to say, "Try not to miss your connecting flight in London," and then handed them back. Unbelievable.
Lovino huffed and strode forward quickly into the cramped hallway that connected the terminal to the side of the plane. He quickly caught up with Blondie, who for all his speed earlier was taking an awful long time getting on the plane. Weirdo.
"Welcome! Are you the last two?" the chipper flight attendant asked when they approached the door.
"Yep, looks like it!" Blondie replied immediately, and loudly.
The flight attendant was unfazed. "Alright, well, if I could just get a peek at your boarding pass there...Ah, looks like you'll be in row 5, just on the left there. You can put your bag in the overhead compartment or under the seat in front of you!"
"Thanks!"
Giving the already full plane a quick glance, Lovino had a sinking suspicion that was confirmed when the attendant looked at his pass next and told him, "And you'll be sitting right next to the previous gentleman!" He gave her the best smile he could manage and resigned himself to his fate. After stowing his bag he flopped down into the aisle seat, noting that Blondie had opted to keep his bag at his feet, despite already being cramped in with those long legs of his. Maybe he'd brought a book or something, and wouldn't feel the need to bother Lovino with, God forbid, conversation.
Of course Blondie immediately nixed that dream. "Um, hey," and did this guy always start conversation with that? "Would you be interested in the window seat?"
Lovino thought about it for a scant second but he'd just had coffee and he knew he'd have to get up and go to the bathroom at some point. "No thanks," he said shortly.
"Oh. Okay well let me know if you change your mind, I guess."
"Sure." Like that was going to happen. What the fuck is up with this guy? Lovino closed his eyes and resolved to ignore him. Maybe he could get started on his nap once the plane actually took off.
Blondie started tapping his fingers on the armrest. Oh my God I'm going to have to kill him, Lovino thought.
"If this were a movie, there'd be, like, snow that prevented us from taking off. And we'd be stuck in the airport and then, like, romantic comedy stuff would happen."
Is this guy coming onto me?
"I mean! Not with you, necessarily. I mean—not that it'd be bad if it was you. I mean. Um. You know I'm just going to stop talking now."
Okay, what the hell? Lovino opened his eyes again and looked at the American. He had his eyes squeezed shut behind his glasses and he was white-knuckling the armrests. Oh. Ohhhhh. He'd told the TSA this was his first time out of the country, hadn't he? And Lovino was willing to bet this was his first time on a plane, too.
He considered this for a moment. Blondie had been incredibly nice to everyone he came in contact with, if maybe a bit overbearing. He was obviously an okay guy. But did he want to get involved here? Christmas spirit, he reminded himself. You're almost home.
"No snow," he offered. "So there's no plot device to keep the planes grounded."
"Huh?" Blue eyes blinked open again and met his.
"It's been unseasonably warm. No snow. No precipitation at all, actually. Nice clear weather for takeoff."
"Oh jeez, am I that obvious?"
"Mmm, little bit. First time flying?"
"Yeah. Oh man this is embarrassing."
"Don't worry about it, lots of people hate flying." He patted Blondie's hand reassuringly.
"No, well, the thing is I love flying. Or the idea of it, anyway. We can put machines that are thousands of pounds in the air with all these people on them, going hundreds of miles per hour to anywhere in the world! The physics behind it are amazing! I just had not really accounted for being on a plane to go across the ocean. You know?"
"I fly all the time," Lovino told him. "For work. We'll be fine. What's that statistic?"
"Oh man, my brother gave me a bunch. It's a hundred times safer than travelling by car. Higher chances of being struck by lightning or killed by a shark. The actual number? Something like a one in eleven million chance of the plane going down."
Lovino smiled. "Well then, there you go."
"Would you mind...Sorry, I know this is a lot to ask but could you talk to me while we take off? I think I'll be fine once Bernoulli's principle is doing its thing but the idea of actually taking off is, uh."
"How about you talk to me?" Lovino asked. "What the hell is the Bernoulli thing?"
"Well strictly speaking it has to do with fluid dynamics but when you apply it to flight—"
Blondie kept going even as the flight attendant instructed them on where the exits were and how to put on their seatbelts. He kept talking as the plane began to taxi, but at a noticeably faster pace, switching rapidly between aerodynamic physics, the history of flight from the Wright Brothers at Kitty Hawk to NASA, and something about an Iroquois flying head (what?). His eyes kept darting to the side, too, and he looked pale. This isn't gonna work, Lovino mused. New plan.
"That is fascinating," he murmured quietly, and Blondie automatically leaned closer to hear him better. He laced their fingers together, causing the American to look down in confusion, and when he was distracted he leaned forward and pressed his lips briefly to Blondie's cheek.
When he pulled back, Blondie's face was beet red, and they were in the air.
"Congratulations," he told him wryly, "you've survived your first take-off."
"Wha—really?"
"Yep. Did you feel that weird swooping sensation in your stomach? That's what it feels like when the plane gets off the ground."
Blondie made a strangled noise. "Oh! Is...is that what caused that?"
Lovino actually laughed, a bit flattered. "Wanna try looking out the window?"
"Yes," Blondie said, but remained facing Lovino.
"I'll keep holding your hand," he assured him.
Blondie took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm gonna do it. Here I go." He slowly looked over his shoulder towards the window. Lovino could see his mouth drop open once he saw the clouds. "Oh my God, this is incredible!"
"Mmmhmm," he hummed in agreement, more focused on the American's sky-blue eyes than the actual sky. The other man turned back to him suddenly.
"My name is Alfred, by the way."
"Lovino."
Alfred squeezed their still-entangled hands in lieu of a handshake.
"Nice to meet you! Thanks for putting up with me."
Lovino remembered his initial displeasure with being seated next to the loud American, but when he answered he was already thinking about how he was going to get this guy's number before he had to get on his connecting flight to Rome. "It was my pleasure."
AND THEN LOVINO MISSED HIS CONNECTING FLIGHT AND SPENT CHRISTMAS WITH ALFRED'S FAMILY AND THEY WERE ALL ABSOLUTE SHITS ABOUT HIM BEING "YOUR BOYFRIEND YOU JUST MET ON THE PLANE"
MERRY CHRISTMAS