I sat in the cafeteria. Trying, despite the eyes burning in the back of my skull, to ignore the presence.

"Bella, seriously, just tell him to get a life." Alice demanded, not seeming to care whether he heard us or not anymore.

"Alice, I told you… I can't be mean. And even though its going past admirable…" I trailed off. I really had no clue what to do anymore.

I had a stalker. Plain and clear. His name was Mike Newton, and he was a menace to society. Well at least lunch and sixth period.

Last year had been my freshmen year. I was new and I didn't really know anyone in my lunch, except for a few acquaintances. I decided at that time, (the worst decision of my life) to sit with one of the girls in my Spanish class. Jessica was sitting there, giggling like there was no tomorrow, in front of a boy, who at that time, didn't look too bad with his blonde spiky hair and dull blue eyes, but he did seem a tad bit annoyed by her presence.

I knew that Jessica had a problem with talking to guys. Every time she stepped in front of a human with only one X chromosome, her brain circuits fired and the giggling commenced. Now normally this was funny, for me anyways, but today it just looked pathetic. So that day I decided I would kill two birds with one stone and help them out. I picked up my lunch tray and started my walk to the table.

"I'm sorry, Jessica has trouble talking to people with only one X chromosome." I smiled friendly as I sat down beside her.

She glared at me and I grinned back at her. During this exchange I failed to notice the gleam in Mike's eye at my sudden appearance.

And that was how it started. An innocent attempt to rescue him from the annoying clutches of Jessica had turned into a full-fledged obsession that was way past endearing anymore.

"You bet its going past admirable! Its been past admirable since last year. Do something!" She practically yelled at me.

Alice had recently found out about my situation, and had taken it upon herself to scope out the creepiness level of my stalker.

I guess it was pretty high. Not that I couldn't find that out myself.

"What do you suggest I do Alice?!" I whispered fiercely. I was done with open suggestions.

"It's easy," she said simply, "get a boyfriend."

Her words repeated themselves over and over again in my mind. The possibility that that would ever happen was close to zero. No one was interested, and what was I supposed to say? 'Hey um I have a stalker and I really need you to pretend to be my boyfriend so that he will stop staring at me incessantly during my lunch period.' Ha! Yeah, because that would work out so well.

"And how the hell am I supposed to do that?" I asked, baffled by the fact that she thought this would be like a walk in the garden.

"Its called asking Bella." Rosalie jumped in.

Rosalie had also accompanied Alice in their James Bond like efforts to crack the creeper Mike Newton. Unfortunately he was not an easy egg to crack, and now we were on plan B,

'Get Bella A Boyfriend: Stat'

"And who am I supposed to ASK?!" I was fed up and extremely embarrassed at just the thought of asking a guy to do that.

"How about that hott MUN guy?" Rose asked flippantly, as if it didn't really matter.

My eyes widened considerably and I practically choked on my drink.

"Excuse me?!" I choked out.

"You know… Cullen, I think his name is?"

"Edward? You want me to ask Edward Cullen out so that he can be my pretend boyfriend?" I asked. Trying to make sure she wasn't trying her hand at comedy.

"Yeah. He's pretty hot." She said.

There were many ways to respond to this comment. One way would be to whole-heartedly agree, then burn my mouth with sulphuric acid. Another would be to ignore the suggestion entirely. The last way would be to freak out. Completely and utterly freak out.

I chose the latter.

"NO WAY! NO WAY IN HELL AM I ASKING….NO!" I shook my head back and forth violently trying desperately to convey my feelings like a rational human being.

I think I was failing. Epicly.

I couldn't help it though! I had known Edward since second grade and despite my outward animosity towards him, I actually quite liked him, a lot. I covered it though with my outward notion that I thought he was a lazy, self conceited jerk, with no life. I almost made myself believe it actually. He really was self centered and lazy and had no life outside his academic club. But he was also kind, funny, and smart.

He was also the kid that hit me with a dodge ball and made my nose bleed in third grade…

Case dismissed.

"Just a suggestion." She said calmly though she was looking at me as though I had grown two heads and a tail.

"It was actually a pretty good idea…" Alice mused to herself.

"No WAY! Alice stop! He is practically my arch-enemy, and if you forgot he likes someone else! No way it could work in A THOUSAND years." I stressed, secretly relieved to have dispelled away this solution quickly.

"Yeah, but its not going so well for him either. And its not like you two hate each other, you just have a long history." She clarified for me.

"No Alice I'm pretty sure we aren't too fond of each other." I sighed. Arguing with Alice was like persuading a brick wall to move. I would become a bulldozer if I had to though.

She rolled her eyes and gathered her remaining lunch, then motioned with her index finger to follow.

"Bella, Mike is really creepy, and I know you don't like to hear this, but it might be the only way now." She whispered as we walked to the garbage can.

"What about another guy?" I asked desperately, "It doesn't have to be him!"

"Who else would understand though? What other guy are you friends with that isn't blatantly gay?" She asked disbelievingly.

"Alright none. But there has to be some other way to get rid of Newton."

"I don't see any other solution Bella, it's this or a restraining order."

"I don't see how he is going to understand." I muttered unwillingly.

Alice just smiled and shrugged, "I have a feeling he will."

I guess I was getting a boyfriend then. Whether I liked it or not.

Okay so new story idea... Yes, no, maybe, so, I don't know??

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