A/N: This is super different from what I usually write, but I hope you guys like it. This is a Mary Poppins/Guardians of the Galaxy crossover, in which Yandu Udonta nannies Jane and Micheal Banks. I uploaded this earlier and it totally didn't work, so this is my second try, and this story might show up twice on my profile.
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters and locations in this fanfic.
"I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!"
Yandu Udonta skimmed the newspaper. It was all the usual newspaper stuff; the weather, crappy dating advice, crosswords, comics, and… an d for a nanny. He smirked. Just imagining it; him, with his terrifying face and the yaka arrow, taking care of children. It was a funny thought. He smiled, then pushed away the thought and turned the page. But then he turned back to the ad, reading it.
Wanted: nanny for two adorable children
If you want this choice position, have a cheery disposition.
Rosy cheeks, no warts. Play games, all sorts.
You must be kind, you must be witty, very sweet and very pretty.
Take us on outings, give us treats, sing songs, bring sweets.
Never be cross or cruel, never give us castor oil or gruel.
Love us as a son and daughter, and never smell of barley water.
If you won't scold and dominate us, we will never give you cause to hate us.
We won't hide your spectacles so you can't see,
Put toads in your bed, or pepper in your tea.
Hurry, Nanny.
Many thanks,
Sincerely,
Jane and Micheal Banks
He grinned, gears shifting in his mind. He fit half of the description at best; there is no way he'd live up to their standards. But it would be fun trying, just for the laughs.
He'd arrived at the door. He'd made it this far, it was too late to turn back now. He got in line with all the other nannies at the door, his blue skin and long brown coat contrasting sharply against the sea of black cloaked women sporting stern expressions.
Dammit, this was going to be too much trouble, he thought. He took out the yaka arrow and let it do its thing, then stepped carefully over the bloody, unconscious figures that were now laying on the pavement, and walked up to the front door to ring the doorbell. Above him, Micheal and Jane Banks exchanged shocked expressions.
"This one should be… different," Jane muttered under her breath.
"Oh, it'll be fun," Micheal said, grinning. Jane shook her head disbelievingly, unconvinced.
"Excuse me, sir, are you Mr. Banks?" Said Yondu politely. First impressions are everything, don't screw this up, he thought as he tucked the bloodied arrow into his coat.
"Ah, yes, I— I am. May I ask who you are?"
"Your new nanny. I mean, if you haven't already got one, or I can just—" he trailed off.
"No, no, the position's still open… May I see your references?" The man held out his hand expectantly.
"My— what?"
George Banks paused. Surely it was a joke… a male nanny. And with no references. The man, possibly the future nanny of the Banks' children, certainly hadn't proven himself to be professional, but if anyone could keep the children in line…
Yondu began to speak again, bringing Banks out of his thoughts and back into reality.
"Look, I know I'm not quite… cheery disposition, rosy cheeks, all that. But I wouldn't give them castor oil or… whatever it was," said Yondu.
"Very well," George Banks nodded in what he hopped was a decisive manor. "Ellen? Tell the others the position has been filled." Ellen appeared from behind a curtain and marched over to the door. Her face went white and she gasped, staring in horror at the mangled bodies lying in a heap at the doorstep, all unconscious.
"Is there a problem, Ellen?" George Banks called from the living room, completely occupied his cigarette and not caring in the slightest about whatever it was that Ellen seemed so mortified by. At the door, Ellen composed herself, thinking quickly, trying to decide how best to tell Mr. Banks about the current state of the other nannies.
"Ah- no, sir. Everything's fine."
George Banks smiled to himself, then looked up at Yondu, who was standing in the middle of the room looking out of place.
"Right then, Mr… what was your name?"
"Yondu Udonta, sir," said Yondu.
"Very well. You may see the children now," Banks gestured to the stairs.
Yondu nodded, not capable of keeping the grin off of his face. Barely believing his own luck. He headed up the polished wooden steps toward the Banks children's nursery.